Paths of the lost

We drove up the snowy, winding road towards the cozy A-frame cabin. The last month had been the hardest of her life and now it was just her and the puppy, the puppy that she had got for her son before, that dreadful day. One tragic night had changed her life so dramatically that she hadn’t had time to come to terms with it. A month ago, she and her loving, darling husband had gone on a trip with their son, her son, it was such a lovely trip the first they had taken together, and it started like the kind of family trip that they would talk about for years to come. All good things come to an end though and if she had known how devastating it would turn, she would have insisted they stay in the safety of their home, in one night she had lost everything. She hated thinking about the night, but the nightmares insisted the memories stay at the for front of her mind.

She barely remembers what happened before or after but the moment she lost it all was vivid, the three of them were walking down a pier they had walked a long way from the hotel they were staying at when the weather turned foul, they ran laughing and giggling at the sudden down pour and wind, trying to find refuge she remembers looking back just intime to see the giant wave come over the meager railing and wash her sweet boy away, she was def to the scream that she let out. Without a second thought her husband went after him diving into the waves to swim them both to safety, she had become vaguely aware of strangers holding her as she tried to follow after them to help, the waves grew, and they both went under not to surface again. Just like that, within minutes she was alone, that was not the end of her misery she spent a week trying to search for the bodies with no success, had to return to her home, her parents and in-laws, to all the family without hers. She said very little and took comfort in her dog that she had fallen in love with fourteen years earlier, a mongrel rescue that stole her heart and touched her soul from the moment they met, and the puppy a Labrador that she had got her son for his last birthday. Just when she thought things couldn’t get worse her beloved mongrel fell ill, she had to put him down a week later due to complications trying to operate on a tumor

“Look after them for me.” Was the last thing she had choked out through tears as she lay there with him as he fell asleep never to wake again. She hasn’t spoken a word since, she allowed her mother to finish the funeral plans for all of her boys, she couldn’t bring herself to care anymore after all she had been burying empty caskets. They were gone, they were all gone, and she was alone.

Her mother had insisted that she get away and do something to reflect on the good times, but thinking of the good times only made her feel the loss more, she was here though despite not wanting to think about it, the constant worry on her mothers’ face was getting tired, she knew that her mother wished she could just make it better but she was mourning her grandson and son in-law too and it wasn’t just worry it was the looks of pity, people didn’t know what to say to her and though they tried they always missed the mark, she didn’t know what to say either after losing everything that made her, everything she loved she didn’t know who she was, who she wanted to be or even if she wanted to be. Admittedly the thoughts of ending herself had stirred in her mind but something in her knew if she did, her boys would be disappointed.

She parked the car at the end of the drive, got out of the car and stretched her limbs that were stiff from the drive. She then opened the door for puppy to use the restroom known as a nearby tree and huffed out a breath, she often found herself holding her breath at times when she contemplated too much. Finding the key she opened the small cozy space, she saw a bed and that’s all she needed to know she left the door open so puppy could sniff around while she grabbed her luggage, once settled in she snuggled into the plush bed and drifted off into sleep.

She awoke the next morning to the sound of birds chirping and the puppy, who she had not named because her son hadn’t found a name for her yet and she felt bad doing it in his stead, so she had come to just think of her as puppy, who was at present nuzzling her face obviously needing to relieve herself. Slumping out of bed she dawned her snow gear and opened the door, made herself a cup of tea and sat on the porch. It was so quiet, it made her remember how loud the boys were, she would not hear their laughter ringing out, or the ruckus that came from them watching sports. She began to shed tears when suddenly from the forest surrounding her, she heard a boy’s voice,

“Help me!” it said the sound echoing around making it difficult to pin point where it came from. Then a pitched scream reverberated through the trees sending the bird life scattering, she stood looking around frantically trying to find where they were. The silence that followed was eerie, the only sounds she could hear was the rushing of blood against her eardrums and her racing heart, the fear from the scream and the image of her son being swept away to sea blurred as one in her mind, she snapped out of her dizzying trance when puppy ran for her life barking aggressively at the forest to the left of her cabin, puppy growled as she stopped at edge seeing something that she obviously couldn’t. Silently approaching the puppy from behind she tried to peer into the morning fog through the trees where the disturbance had alerted the young dog. She peered hard trying to make out anything, she thought she saw something move quickly behind a tree, it spooked her and she picked up the puppy and ran back into the cabin locking the door behind her. Distressed and needing to calm her nerves, did she just see and hear that or was she finally just losing her mind from grief, could someone do that she thought, go mad from loss because if they could that was certainly what was happening to her.

By mid afternoon she had drank four cups of the tea she found in the cabin, while she had curled up and read a book, it was surprisingly tasty and calming, when she finished her fourth cup, she had risen to brew another when puppy started whining at the door, it had begun to snow and so the cloud cover caused it to get dark quickly so before the light completely faded, she dawned some of her snow gear and let the puppy out. Without warning the puppy ran straight into the forest to left and out of site barking all the way. Realizing she was about to lose the only thing she had left she sprinted after the puppy in the direction the barking was coming from. She ran as far as she could slowing to a jog to save her strength after she realized she couldn’t keep up or catch up with the animal. The sounds of barking faded, and growling started, she headed to the sound.

A clearing up a head was shrouded in mist and puppy was in the center of it growling to the trees on the opposite side of the clearing, slowly she approached the puppy laying a hand on her head and scratching behind the ear she peered again at the place the puppy growled, as the light began to fade more the wispy forms of figures began to show from the fog, ghosts or spirits or something, was she seeing things? She watched in wonder as every so often she would see the movement of a figure, all we going deeper into the forest, puppy suddenly stopped growling and whimpered and lay down at her feet, strange. The shattering scream from earlier entered the clearing and was louder than before, she stood and looked around.

“Help, please… mommy, help me” said a pained voice from where the figures were headed, she knew that voice, it was her boy, her son, how was he here? What happened? Where was her husband? These were the questions that entered her head as she ran headfirst, puppy at her heels towards the voice of her baby.