Oops! Don't Step On the Cracks!

"Oooh, you broke your mother's back!"

"Shut the hell up Jasmine!"

Each of the six times Doreen had committed the unthinkable offense, Jasmine had shouted out the same thing. Doreen couldn't understand why the girl persisted in trying to play the stupid step on the crack game while they were already in the middle of playing hopscotch.

They were clearly two separate games, yet Jasmine always managed to combine them. And of course, because she'd been living in the dilapidated Jordan Downs Project longer than Doreen, she knew every single crack and cranny in the complex. Jasmine never broke her mother's back.

Most of the time, Doreen merely played along and at least made an attempt not to step on any cracks, but today she didn't care; not one bit.

After shouting at Jasmine and finishing up her fives, Doreen threw the key chain she was using for a lager. It landed smack dab in the number six spot.

She remembered there was another crack in one of the spaces ahead. She grinned at Jasmine and stuck her tongue out. Then she gave her a knowing look so Jasmine knew she remembered exactly where the crack was.

Doreen hopped along, past square six and seven, then she purposely stepped on the crack in square number eight. She knew it didn't matter in the actual hopscotch game they were playing. All she was worried about was not stepping on the line.

She laughed at the look on Jasmine's face before she continued to the end of the hopscotch they drew earlier in the week.

Some of the lines had smeared and were a bit faded, but they could still make them out. When Doreen turned and headed back the other way, she scooped up the key chain.

She got to the end and shook the chain in Jasmine's face.

"I don't care about no stupid cracks! I'm about to win, cause we playing hopscotch!"

Jasmine couldn't quite figure out what the look on Doreen's face meant, but she knew it was more than just gloating.

The look was a mixture of anger and defiance, not about the hopscotch game, but about the game Doreen claimed she didn't care about.

Suddenly, Jasmine felt bad when she realized Doreen must be worried about her mother. She probably didn't want to hear anything about breaking her mother's back.

Doreen did a good job pretending it was so much fun to be on her own, but Jasmine knew better. She had to be missing her mother and she probably was scared and lonely in that apartment all by herself.

She spoke to Doreen in an apologetic voice, but it only made Doreen uncomfortable, especially when Jasmine called her by that silly nickname she hated.

"Come on Dory. Girl, I know we playing hopscotch. That step-on-the-crack stuff is just a silly ole' game anyway. Honey, yo' mama probably gon' come back today and start fussing at yo' ass for something you did when she was gone."

"My mother? Who said anything about my mother? Let's just play the damn game."

The thought of her mother coming back in a bad mood and getting on her case was actually a welcome thought, but somehow Doreen didn't think that would happen this time.

Helen had been away for more than a whole day before, but this was different. Two days had passed, plus, something just didn't feel right.

The scary thoughts and worried feelings that plagued Doreen the night before were still lingering. They confused her and she didn't know how to hide it.

She wanted to hate her mother for leaving her all alone to go off and party. She wanted to be able to blame her and not the drugs, for all the neglect, and the abuse, and for not being there like a mother should.

Normally, it was easy to be mad at her mother, but not today. Something was different and that was the part that really scared her.

She needed her anger, because without it, it only confirmed that something was really wrong this time, and her mother might not be coming back. Twelve years old and no family or relatives to go to. What would happen to her?

That's why she had stepped on the cracks. To prove how wrong she was about things being different. She needed to feel like everything was just like it always was.

Trying to sort all the thoughts and feelings out was causing Doreen to become unnerved. She tossed the key chain, but this time it went off course and landed just outside the square, causing her to miss a turn.

She went over and picked it up, then threw it down aggressively into the square. When she walked back to where Jasmine was, she purposely stepped on another crack.

A huge knot instantly developed in Doreen's throat. It hurt so bad, she could hardly swallow. There was no avoiding the thought. What if something had really happened to her mother?

She shoved the thought all the way to the back of her mind, then she turned to Jasmine and shoved her just as hard.

"Go on dammit! It's your turn!"

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