Office Fridge Thief

Office fridge theft is running rampant here. Personally, I always thought sharing a fridge at work would help cut food costs. You know….don’t eat out. Make your lunch, put your name on it, save money, and of course time. Nope. Quite the opposite up in here.

This communal fridge was a minefield. Sandwiches vanish. Frozen meals gone. One day even a half of an orange fell victim to this fridge hunter.

I did what anyone would do, googled it. It is a common problem. And no, my name is NOT Karen. I won’t get the manager; I just want it to stop. Well, I did tell Agatha in HR. Frankly, I just think that if your name is on something, it should be yours. Period.

So, what do we do? I opened up Microsoft Word, feverously typed up a note, “To the person who keeps stealing my Turkey, Swiss, and Mayo on Rye, this is just ridiculous. Please stop stealing other people’s property.” Print. I grabbed some tape and put it up on the fridge.

Yes, passive aggressive. Did it work? Nope, status quo remained.

Who was I kidding? With no evidence, it is an endless game of pointing fingers. Nothing got me closer to solving who ate the fried rice or left the half-eaten turkey, Swiss, and Mayo on rye sandwich in the fridge this week. Ugh.

What an intense drama. But, Agatha in HR reassured me that she was “on it.” This daily drama was stressing me out. It was starting to get to everyone. It seemed no one was safe. I just wanted to sit down, eat my sandwich, and enjoy my full break time. All of us did really. Well, maybe one person was already, at the expense of others.

This was clearly out of hand, could you fire someone for this? Not sure if this was covered in the employee handbook. Is it the same as office supplies? I don’t think so. Human curiosity and big brother were now combined to get “in the know.” The kitchen now had a hidden camera on top of the fridge to catch the culprit. Agatha reviewed the tape before leaving and now had definite proof.

Who? It was Bruce with the knife in the kitchen. Come to think about it, he didn't see him do dishes in the kitchen. He simply just ate the food that was already prepared in front of it. Easy.

Sick and tired of being sick and tired. Agatha had a decision to make. What to do?

On one hand, Agatha didn’t want to fire him. But on the other hand, this disgusting criminal needed to be taught a lesson. It was up to her to devise a plan so that this would never happen again and at the same time the message would get across to everyone in the office.

That's it! She was going to bake a cake. A tasty treat that he couldn’t resist, that would make sure this would NEVER happen again. No, she wasn’t going to put a laxative in it. She couldn’t do anything that could be considered "harming another person." That would be an HR nightmare.

She then remembered; Bruce never took the spicy food in the fridge. Could this be it? Did he have a low tolerance for spicy foods? It was time to take a chance. That being said, this cake would definitely give him the the kick he needed to stop this habit wanting and taking others' food.

Friday, it was the end of the work week. Lunch time again, turkey and swiss on rye sandwich gone again. I was hoping that Agatha had found out who done it already. Perhaps soon.

Meanwhile, Bruce was at his cubicle with fork in hand. Friday was a great day in deed, he thought, as he dug into the slice of chocolate cake. Halfway through, his mouth was on fire! Hum, there was a note on the bottom of the plate. With a teary eye, he read the note.

Dear Food Thief,

Hope you enjoy the new cake recipe.

--The office

As Bruce ran to the water cooler to extinguish the chocolaty fire in his mouth, this office fridge would now live happily ever after.

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