Of Traps and Lace, Chapter Four

Since going undercover among the Mini-Flashes 4-H-N had kept up the illusion by conscientiously attending class, so knew right away which standard Flash Club search-pattern the gang would be using. She also knew Petunia was no trained field-operative. Bobbypins and the others would drive her upward, as was proper practice for targets unable to fly, and given the direction she took off in and how much time had elapsed it was easy enough for 4-H-N to home in on where her peachy quarry was most likely to put in a reappearance. Sure enough, before long she spied the familiar flippy head. Jumping with both hands outstretched 4-H-N clutched Petunia by the sweater and span her round, so that she stumbled to a stop and they were staring at each other.

The swell of music 4-H-N could hear was likewise familiar to her, though with everything else that was going on it took her a second or two to figure out what it was and where it was coming from. Then she noticed how nearly all the night-time illumination was suddenly falling on her and Petunia from her right-hand side, and understood. They were on a ledge directly in front of a skyscraper-side video screen, which had just started to play a public service announcement 4-H-N remembered recording not long ago. Dylan, who at 4-H-N’s closeness was no more than a handful of pixels that made up part of his jacket, would be towering over two tiny girls in the frame of her own film. She could see Micro-Mallet to her left, diligently doing his duty as cameraman.

Dylan Cook and his interpretation of The Four Heroes’ cause, an announcer’s voice boomed and crackled from the giant screen’s speakers. Keeping this galaxy safe from the forces of evil. Preparing us for our inevitable altercation with The Foretold One. First the Arch of Titus mission, then more recently, the Nereynis Incident…

“Why are you persecuting me like this?” Petunia flung at 4-H-N. “Why can’t you leave my knickers alone?”

“Did you hear that?” was 4-H-N’s response. “It’s a good start. I was at the Arch of Titus. I could have died helping rescue your farns.”

“Yes, and I’m sure you and the single most notorious of all Mini-Flash girl-gangs are doing the galaxy a comparable service these days,” Petunia finished for her.

4-H-N had been resigned to that coming up early on. Even so, it wasn’t the first time Petunia had said it, and getting it again wasn’t exactly a delight.

“A lot of what I’m doing isn’t what it looks like,” 4-H-N explained patiently. “But when I talk about the cause, I mean it. You asked me why I’ve got a problem with you wearing that symbol? How about me and my family and friends, working our own pants off for your galaxy’s sake just so Joe, with all of that staring him right in the face, can decide our interpretation’s the one that’s going to destroy the sector we’ve saved time after time. Then he gets you to go spread the word, and far be it from me to guess how he went about doing that – ”

4-H-N saw how hurt Petunia was looking, and checked herself. On that previous occasion they’d argued, cruel remarks about Joe had done little to defuse the situation.

The Nereynis Incident began when a Toothfire weapon was deployed without warning against the Grindo colony of Grindopolis. As tensions rapidly mounted on the twin planets and the populated worlds…

“You really think it’s like that, don’t you?” Petunia said sadly. “Like I’m out here all on my own because I’m having a lovely time doing something he told me to do. Like the real reason isn’t that it was too painful for me to stay. Like he’s even noticed I’m not there anymore…”

4-H-N gave a huge humorless snort. She couldn’t help it. That pouty pathetic look on Petunia’s features just wouldn’t sit alongside the memories of Drenthis which Mini-Flash Meteor had earlier jogged.

“He’s noticed you,” declared 4-H-N. “You’re the right shape.”

Now colour was rising in Petunia’s cheeks. 4-H-N had a sneaking suspicion she might have gone too far.

And did the youngest member of our Grindotron faction sit and do nothing throughout this crisis? No, sir, she did not!

Oh, 4-H-N vaguely registered. It was her bit.

Now, we’re not saying she doesn’t have some strange second gender power to make the boys’ hearts beat a little harder! It was however only through good old-fashioned initiative that the sweetest new recruit to the Mini-Flashes averted disaster on a second front. With Grindotron and Toothfire Space squaring up for what seemed an inevitable resumption of ancient interplanetary hostilities, this vision in beige bypassed proper Flash Club procedure for an ad-hoc extradition of the desperate fugitive Schiss-Zazz, followed by a race against time to Grindotron that he might bear witness to the Vernderernder High Command’s innocence in the whole affair. Schiss-Zazz’s testimonial that the Toothfire traitor Scientooth was in fact to blame for the attack on Grindopolis doubtless spared millions of lives right here at home. So, Mini-Flash 4-H-N, the galaxy salutes you for that sigh of relief…funny though it is how your presence seems to work the opposite reaction in the average male Mini-Flash!

Petunia’s scorn and indignation had evidently risen to the boil. Now the words came.

“No wonder you think so much of yourself. You’ve been watching too many of your own press-releases, 4-H-N! That must be why you imagine you can say such things about Joe. You and your so-called second front! Some of us were at the first front! Some of us saw in the Nereynis Incident actually on Nereynis!”

“Nereynis?” 4-H-N repeated. “So you weren’t properly there?”

“Flashtease made me and Dacks stay behind in Grindopolis because it was going to be too dangerous,” said Petunia. “But that’s still a lot closer to the action than you were! Who are you to tell me I wasn’t properly there?”

“Someone whose big sister Carmilla was!” cried 4-H-N. “On Drenthis, in Scientooth’s lab. She saw what happened and she told me!”

Petunia rolled her big violet eyes.

“Oh, well then, I’m convinced,” she retorted at once, and plonked her hands hard on her hips.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 4-H-N demanded, scowling.

“Only that I gave up on taking your big sisters at their word after your boyfriend the desperate fugitive nearly scissored me into paper dolls, and all because Phoenix Prime had lied to me!” came back the response. “I forgave her, but I might have to introduce a limit if all your other sisters are liars too!”

4-H-N’s temper was beginning to bubble. One hand moved to the back of her tunic-skirt, and only with effort did she keep her fingers away from the elastic beneath.

“And you should shower more if that’s where you’re scratching,” Petunia added nastily. “Can I give you some tips on how to de-stuffy? It’s just I’m not the only girl who’s noticed.”

“Carmilla was telling the truth!” yelled 4-H-N. “That’s more than you can do because you weren’t even there, but she was, with your beloved Joe and that war-criminal you’re sheltering not to mention Neetra and Blaster-Track Commander and – ”

She’d forgotten to stop for breath. For a second or two 4-H-N fought to recover her voice.

…as Dylan Cook with a power that flowed from the one true interpretation of The Four Heroes’ cause put paid to Scientooth’s doomsday machine, shattering the world…

“And Prince Agaric!” 4-H-N flung mercilessly into Petunia’s face. “Who Joe killed!”

END OF CHAPTER FOUR