Oceanic Panic

The sun beamed down upon the clear blue currents, sending rays of light into unknown depths of the ocean. Beaded droplets of water fell effortlessly from my wine glass onto my light denim capris. There was no wind and the scarlet red nail polish on my toenails appeared to create its own flame as my sandals sat snuggly upon my suntanned feet. It was hot, and the weather provided no remorse for its patrons.

I could see the seagulls in the west headed toward the island of Guadalupe. I could not wait to reach the shore myself. Even though our beautiful yacht Eleanor had a vast number of amenities, the heat was scorching and a yacht without power did not offer much solace for my husband and me.

Barry was far from being a mechanic, let alone handy. He had made his wealth in life with the use of his financial wit and created an extremely cushy lifestyle for both of us. We have truly been blessed with so many materialistic things, we want for nothing…well almost nothing. I look at my watch and realize that Barry has been downstairs messing around for almost an hour, hopefully, he didn’t pass out from the heat.

“Barry, darling, please come up to the top for a while, you’re going to pass out down there.”

I hear no response, but an interior door closes and footsteps from down below get louder. I soon see Barry’s sweaty bald head rising from down under, then his tall body standing in front of me as he shares a look of frustration and disdain.

“Damn it, we’ve only had this yacht for a year Meg, what could it be?”

“No clue, did you find your phone? so we can call for help. I still can’t believe I left mine on the coffee table.”

“Nope, I have looked all over and no phone. I’m getting hopeless here. We can’t stay out here in the ocean all day and night.”

“Of course, love, someone will find us.”

“Find us? do you think I’m going to sit out in this heat?”

“What else can we do Barry?”

“I know I can take the rowboat and row to the island and get help.”

“That is a great idea but…aren’t sharks in the ocean?”

“Sharks don’t just attack, plus I won’t be in the water. I’ll be fine, trust me and when I get back, I want to sit down and talk to you about some big news, life-changing.”

“You know I love surprises.” I smiled deeply, reached, and grabbed Barry’s left hand, and gave it a kiss, he leaned over and gave me a kiss on the forehead.

Our marriage was far from perfect and more of a convenience, but we were great friends and had a genuine love for each other. Barry and I met in college as grad students both finance majors. Barry was a nerd but also a hopeless romantic. He had a way with numbers that turned me on.

Our relationship worked for us and together we set an example for our peers, siblings, and our parents. However, after 10 amazing years of marriage, traveling the world, and having successful businesses we still didn’t have everything. There was an emptiness inside, a longing for more, something that money could never buy.

“Ok, Meg…I need you to come to the right side of Eleanor and hold the rope as I get into the rowboat.”

“Sure, honey.”

I watched as Barry untied the rowboat from above. It fell abruptly into the ocean, he handed me the large heavy rope that kept the rowboat from drifting away. Barry climbed down the stairs on the side of Eleanor and leaped into the boat.

“You can let go of the rope now.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m in. Just throw down the paddles I left them up there above the stairs.”

“Okay, honey.”

I look over to the left and see the wooden paddles that were worn with micro-cracks creeping throughout the wood. I threw them over the side of the yacht into the rowboat hoping they didn’t break upon impact.

“Perfect throw honey.”

“You’re welcome.”

Barry picked up the paddles and placed them within the water and started to paddle away from the vessel with ease. After he started leaving, I thought about his bald head glistening in the sun and why I didn’t think to pass him his hat.

I looked towards the ocean where my husband set sail and his body reminded me of a red and white bobber that my dad would use when he was trying to catch fish. The top half would bounce along the top of the water with its bottom half hidden within the lake carrying fake bait for the unsuspecting fish. I sat there watching him, this large man seeming to appear so small and vulnerable amid the big ocean.

Thirty minutes had passed, and I started to get thirsty. I poured a glass of 2015 Scarecrow Cabernet Sauvignon with its vibrant floral, dark spices, and decadent cherry flavors hidden into a delightful treat. I sat down with my wine and my favorite cheeses and respected how Barry took control of this situation. I did admire this trait; he often made the hard decisions that I grew to appreciate in the end.

I saw my glass was empty and realized that I drunk my wine as if it was water, so I poured a second glass when I heard a faint noise, almost like a buzzing beneath me. I immediately kicked off my sandals and got on all fours to search for the sound.

It must be Barry’s phone I thought to myself. I removed the cushions, no phone. No more buzzing but I knew it had to be nearby. I looked thoroughly underneath the large sectional but no phone.

I crawled over to the refrigerator and there it was underneath the fridge of all places. I was so happy that I immediately called the Coast Guard who said they would be here in thirty minutes or less.

I peered over the side of Eleanor attempting to see Barry still rowing but he was nowhere in sight. His phone started vibrating from a private number. I smiled because Barry must be calling me to let me know he made it.

“Love, are they coming?” I said in excitement.

“Excuse me?” said, an unfamiliar voice of a young woman.

“Oh my, I thought this was my husband calling?” I replied.

“Is he okay? I am trying to reach him.” The young woman said too casually.

“Excuse me, who are you and how do you know my husband?”

“Megan, this is not a good time to explain, it’s an emergency?”

“You know my name? Emergency? What do you mean? Is he okay?”

“Yes, I mean, I don’t know… I thought Barry was with you on the yacht. I haven’t seen him today, but I know he was going to speak with you and since you don’t know who I am that means he hasn’t spoken to you and he wanted to tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“I don’t want to overstep.”

“I’m confused, overstep how?”

“You should let Barry explain but I don’t know how much longer I can wait…”

“Wait for what?”

“He said you were persistent…Owwww!”

“Are you okay? Is this a joke?”

“This is not a joke! My water just broke!” the young woman yelled.

“Why are you telling me your water broke?”

“I’m about to have the baby! Tell Barry, Dr. Winters will be expecting him. Please let Barry know the baby is coming and you…”

“Dr. Winters is our doctor…Hello...Hello!”

There was silence, the call had dropped, and I couldn’t call her back. My heart began racing, and my anger quickly rose. I am not sure if I am in denial of what I just heard, or the sun just got 50 degrees hotter. I felt sick to my stomach.

Would Barry do one of the most heinous things to me…go and have a child with someone else? I know my womb wouldn’t allow me to carry a child, but I asked him if he wanted to adopt, and he said not now…So why would he do this to me?

I couldn’t stop them from falling, I had stopped them many times before, right before a speaking engagement for families with children, after leaving my younger sister’s house with her newborn twins, and when my mother told me that I did something wrong, so my ancestors withheld the gift of fertility.

My tears this time overcame me like a flood, wrath unleashed upon mankind. I couldn’t stand, I was broken, the heaviness in my chest and the pain within my heart refused to let me go. I wept and wailed knowing none of this would alter the facts that our lives would be changed. I would have to make the walk of shame and divorce Barry. I laid there in the middle of the yacht stricken with grief.

I could hear a boat quickly approaching. I had forgotten the Coast Guard was coming. I managed to steady myself and quickly wipe the smudged mascara from around my eyes. I tucked in my blouse, patted my face with a cold wet paper towel, and slipped on my sandals hoping it was enough to hide my anguish.

“Mrs. Hamilton, My name is Ivan I am one of the Coast Guardsmen here to take you to the island. If it’s okay for me to come aboard, would you give me a wave on the left side of the boat?” The bullhorn speaker system was loud and clear.

I ran over to the left side of the boat and waved my hands. Ivan approached and saw my demeanor. He immediately asked me if I was in a domestic violence relationship and even though I wanted to say yes out of anger, I didn’t… our family has enough already to deal with.

I packed my main belongings and went aboard Ivan’s boat who ensured me that Eleanor would be pulled in also. Ivan told me that he saw Barry at the office seeking help for me and the yacht.

“I overheard him telling someone that he wouldn’t leave you out there by yourself because it was getting late, but he was so dehydrated and under distress when he arrived, some of the officers had to take him straight to the hospital. But before he left, I told him that I would pick you up personally and make sure that you were okay.”

“Is he going to be okay?”

“Yes, he should be fine, he gave me this letter for you on his way out, he said it was important that you received it.

“Umm…okay.” I held my hand out for what felt like an eternity.

Ivan handed me an envelope with our family seal on it and I walked to the back of the boat to read it. I wondered if he had abandoned me. If that was the plan all along to leave me to die out in the ocean on Eleanor. Nevertheless, my heart could not fathom that Barry would do such a thing. I knew one matter for certain, he owed me an explanation.

The fear of what I held in my hand threatened to overthrow everything I believed about my husband and our union.

I removed the golden seal from the envelope and took out the letter that read:

To my beautiful Megan,

I love you so much. I saw the pain you tried to hide. Our child will be born at any moment. I did this for you because your pride would not allow for this to happen. Now we will have everything that we ever wanted.

Love,

Barry

I placed the letter back in the envelope, closed the seal, and threw it into the ocean.

I love surprises…