Nothing better than the present

Notes: This is a fanfiction about a relationship between two women. It if offends you please don't read. Haruka, Michiru, and the Sailor Moon franchise is copyright to Naoko Takeuchi, Toei Animation

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The howl of the stormy wind made its way into the silence of the night. Branches of trees knocked as uninvited guests on the window, creating their unique symphony with the raindrops that were hitting the glass mercilessly. This weather was not unusual in late autumn and maybe it was because the blonde woman was used to it already that she didn’t wake up from her sleep.

Her expression however indicated unrest as she turned in the bed, getting chained by the nightmare she had.

–

Tall columns were lining the corridor in a perfect manner, the castle was a great piece of outstanding architecture. Silver and white colours dominated the walls which were sparkling here and there as light reached the surface. Pieces of crystals were crushed into the material they were made of, adding a spectacular phenomenon of random twinkles. It was never the same twice as light always reflected differently from the tiny hidden pieces. An unearthly view but the blonde warrior did not even notice it, she was fascinated with something more alluring. Or better to say, someone.

Her heart was overwhelmed, filled with such passion and need that it was killing her inside. For how long would she be able to keep the dam of her emotions from breaking? She was never famous for her self control, everytime they encountered it was more and more difficult to keep herself in check.

And now, as so many times before, as she was walking along that path with that beautiful princess, her hands were clenched in fists so as to prevent herself from reaching out.

That aquamarine hair touching the floor waved like the sea, the pale teal dress matching its flow and gorgeously embracing the alluring body made her lose her breath for the thousands of times. The ladylike mannerism, the elegant way of moving, for her, everything was perfect on this goddess.

She loved this beautiful woman with all her might. So much that it physically hurt sometimes. Her inside was shaking whenever they looked into each other’s eyes, those deep, ocean-blue eyes she wanted to drown in. Her veins were pulsating with desire, burning in a fire she had no escape from. Hot…maddening yearning, soul wrenching longing… her heart entangled into the spiderweb of craziness to the point she just wanted to scream.

She wanted this woman. So very much she was afraid that the time would come when she would snap and cross that line. That she would just grab her into her arms, kiss every inch of that alabaster skin, whispering sweet words of endearment while melting into one again and again…Running her fingers along all the sensitive spots, until the beautiful princess won’t see anything else than her, in a sea of over-worldly pleasure. Every beat of heart was for her…life was a bittersweet torture, getting trapped in these enormous feelings which were more endless than the universe itself. A trap even the strongest warrior couldn’t escape from.

Why? What was this the punishment for? Just why did she have to fall in love so deeply? As if gravity was pulling her and the always so confident, powerful soldier was helpless against these strange kind of attacks of her own heart. Just why did this have to happen when this lady was a taboo for her? They both had a mission, a serious task lightyears away from each other. But still, coming here every now and then to report to their queen was always at the same timing. Why? Why was fate this cruel…and kind at the same time? At least she could see her. Even if for only mere hours, they existed in the same space.

She didn’t even realise her pace was getting slower with each step as they were closer to their destination. No, she didn’t want to go into the chambers. It would mean her report would be done and she would have to go back to her own post. Away from here, away from the goddess who held her heart and soul.

Much to her surprise her beloved stopped as soon as the gate of the queen’s chamber was in view.

“I hope the fights on your planet are not so harsh, Uranus.” Came the melodic voice which shook the blonde’s world yet again.

“Nah, nothing that I can’t deal with.” She said slightly hoarsely as she found her voice.

“Of course, you are the strongest fighter.” Came an angelic chuckle which made the resistance to hug her in the blonde waver.

“You are plenty strong yourself, Princess.” She couldn’t call her by her name, she never did. It would be too informal, she desperately needed to show distance. Neptune shouldn’t get to know her hidden feelings. She needed to be somewhat cold. And she was…colder every time they met.

For a fleeting second a glimpse of sadness could be seen in those deep ocean blue eyes but Uranus was buried too deep in her own misery and fighting with herself to notice. “Thank you for your kind words.”

“And you? Everything alright?” She asked casually, hoping her voice didn’t waver.

“Yes thank you, everything is satisfactory.” She lied, giving a reassuring smile. Uranus didn’t have to know…

They were just standing there, none of them wanting to take the next step to open the waiting doors, but soon it was necessary. If the alluring woman waited just one more second with the task she would snap, this was dangerous, Uranus thought. She almost…but just almost pulled her into her arms.

And again…as the report would be done, their ways would part for years to come…what were a few years in the life of the chosen ones who lived thousands of years, people often asked. But for the warrior of the skies, every second without Neptune was an eternity.

Melancholy was eating her inside. She couldn’t sleep, couldn’t really eat much, she was deliberately searching for fights with the enemy as a coping mechanism. Even though the beautiful princess could never be hers, she was ready to protect the universe in which her beloved was in. Not for the mission, not for some ancient kingdom, but for the woman who captured her heart. From outside she was the cold warrior who did everything for their queen and task and she was determined to keep it that way. Her true feelings will be forever untold, going to the grave with her when the time her light of life extinguishes come.

–

The marble floor that was always clear and white was slowly painted with crimson as blood was dripping. How could this happen? Just how?

Uranus was trembling from shock, her mind gone as she was holding her beloved princess close in the battlefield. Why did the woman come here in the first place? And why did she jump in between her and the enemy’s attack? She sacrificed her own life just to save her. Just why?

The warrior took a raged breath and hissed, her aura exploding, wiping out all of the evil beings for now. The battlefield became silent. She couldn’t process what was happening, she felt as if her ice cold heart was full with needles piercing through it, her lips were trembling, her whole being was.

The pale gorgeous aquamarine dress of the meaning of her life was drenched in blood and it was clear, there was no way to save the beautiful woman. No… this couldn’t happen. Gods…I am alright with never having her as my own, I am alright with living in torture of these feelings…but at least she is alive…Please…take my life instead, please…I beg you. Don’t let her die. But no one was listening to her plea.

She started to feel sick, her whole world was ripped apart and she was too shocked to even cry.

“Neptune…Why…? Why did you save me?” She didn’t want to acknowledge it was really happening, she held her closer, desperately looking into those eyes which looked so tired now. Once they close they would never open again and this just made her even crazier.

“You…finally…said my name…” The aquamarine haired woman smiled despite the blood that escaped from the corner of her lips.

“You shouldn’t have…are you crazy?! Why…oh gods why…” She couldn’t bear this, she was not in control of her actions as she grabbed the hand and squeezed it. She felt it, the other became weaker in every second.

“Going…to report…at the same time…was never a coincidence…” She had a kind smile on her face. Despite the fact she was dying the expression was warm, happy. It was her selfishness she was aware of it, but she didn’t want to die without saying what she kept hidden for so many centuries. It was alright to break a taboo now…She had no time left in this plane of existence.

“W-what are you saying?” The low voice choked on emotions, this was even worse than if she herself died.

“Finally…I can be…this close to you…” The voice was merely above a whisper, life was starting to fade from the once shining ruler of the seas. “Forgive me…Uranus…I…”

“My dear beautiful princess…” Uranus still didn’t acknowledge what was being told, her brain decided to shut off somewhat in order not to faint.

“Uranus…I…have always…loved you…” She felt so lightened to finally be able to say these words that were like huge rocks weightening on her in her entire life. A vision suddenly hit her. A comfortable, hope filled one which lasted for not longer than a fleeting second before it disappeared but it made her smile wider. “And I can…see it… Another life…where I can be next to you…” Or were these just feverish illusions? With the last strength she had, she nuzzled into the blonde’s chest with a content smile on her lips. “So…warm…Uranus…”

These words were her last ones but it took time for the warrior to let it sink in. She was gone…her goddess, her light, the meaning of all the fights was gone. Her soul and heart got ripped out of her, there was nothing left for her. Everything crumbled down and she just wanted to follow. The pain she felt in her heart was something that could not be compared to anything she had ever felt before. As if she was in the middle of a blizzard, buried in snow, she couldn’t move, she could just bury her face into her beloved and scream like a wounded animal, like someone who lost their soul.

–

Haruka sat up in her bed, woken up by her own shout and the sickening feeling that still had her in its grip. She was panting hard and grabbed the blanket, desperately needing something to hold onto while she was riding out the waves of the gruesome paralysing shock.

Automatically she touched the spot on the huge king size bed next to her and looked slightly panicked when there was no warmth and no one was lying next to her. She needed moments to get herself together and to come back into reality. Right… Michiru was sick with fever and she insisted that they sleep separately so Haruka wouldn’t catch the nasty virus. No matter how the blonde was against this idea, as always, her beloved won the argument and she had no choice but to obey.

That was when she heard the weather outside, the same as after her princess passed away in their previous life. She hissed, shaking her head and with the speed of the wind she was already out of the bed. She almost tore the door open, she was that eager to reach her destination, starting to run.

Haruka was not in her right mind as she opened the door of the room Michiru was in and she was sure she had one of the most vulnerable looks when their eyes met.

“Haruka…?” The aquamarine haired beauty was sitting in the bed, not being able to sleep and was greatly shocked at what state her beloved was in. Michiru was still not healed and roses of fever bloomed on her cheeks but she was about to get out from under the covers and go to her partner. However, the blonde was faster.

In just mere seconds the smaller woman was already held very strongly by a seemingly emotionally messed up Haruka who found her way into the bed in record speed. With a voice filled with worry but at the same time unconditional care, she asked while caressing into the short hair. “Haruka…What’s wrong?”

“My dear beautiful princess…” The arms around her tightened and she understood right away that her poor love was haunted by nightmares of previous life. Those Michiru had countless times before she met the blonde in this life. She knew the heart wrenching feeling, the long nights she felt she would break, where only her tears were companions. Those…and the prayers that there would come a day she finds her destined one again. How many nights she had spent crying, begging to fate to find her Uranus fast.

“Uranus…” She whispered knowingly, letting her love hold her as close as she wanted for as long as she wanted and once she felt the desperation in the other lessened, she put a finger below Haruka’s chin to lift it up and look into her eyes.

“I have told you, haven’t I? That I can see a world…where I am next to you. It was worth dying for.” The melodic voice was so soothing and full of love the blonde started to feel better but she stiffened when hearing the word death and seeing the proof of fever on her beloved’s face.

“How are you feeling? I woke you up, didn’t I…” She was more worried than apologetic though.

“I…couldn’t sleep.” The beauty admitted, smiling gently. Not without being enveloped in those strong warm arms she loved so much.

“Is the fever that bad?” Haruka sat up in order to grab a medicine from the night table but Michiru stopped her, not allowing her to get up yet.

“No…I just…can’t sleep without you next to me…” She admitted as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and that cuteness made the blonde’s heart skip a beat.

“You will never have to.” The masculine woman said with a chuckle and settled into the bed. She pulled her beloved into her arms when she heard the slightly bossy voice. “Haruka.”

“Umm…yeah?” This meant an order was coming… Not now…she needed this…

“I thought we talked about this. You will catch the virus, you have to go back to your own room.” No matter how cruel this might have sounded after the nightmare her partner was just having, she valued and worried for the other’s safety.

The usual reply would have been the blonde sighing and doing as her goddess said but not this time. Now she crashed their lips together much to Michiru’s surprise. When the short but deep kiss ended Haruka said seriously. “Everything but us can be damned. No germs, no kingdoms and no mission can tear you out of my arms anymore, my beautiful princess.” There would not be a repeat of the mistakes in the previous life.

“Ara maa…” As strongly as she was held, the aquamarine haired beauty wouldn’t be able to pull away but she didn’t even want to. She settled into that warm embrace, realising they both needed this closeness at the moment maybe even more than any other times. “You can be so stubborn, Haruka…”

“But you love me.” She was not one for confessions but the horrible scene that was shown to her from thousands of years ago made her momentarily sentimental.

“Ara, quite confident you are.” Michiru chuckled, nuzzling into the crook of her love’s neck.

“Umm…Michiru?” She didn’t get the answer she wanted to hear.

“Haruka…” The elegant girl pulled away just so she could gaze into those deep green eyes she adored. “I love you.” She said, knowing very much this would embarrass the oh so cool tomboy.

And indeed, the blonde cleared her throat and blushed slightly.

“Finally…I can be this close to you… again.” The aquamarine haired whispered, knowing exactly that these were one of Neptune’s last words in the past. The princess who thought that she was trapped in a one sided unrequited love towards the brave warrior of Uranus.

Haruka hugged her tighter and smiled gently, caressing into the velvet long hair. Back then the beautiful ruler of the sea planet never got an answer and the blonde felt she owned her one, so that part of the soul can rest in peace. “I love you too…Neptune.” And I am glad I met you…again.

END