My Superhero Origin Story By Hannah Moore

This is a true story. What? Nobody said it had to be fiction.

I’m a pretty ordinary person. An all-rounder, my teachers said. Shows potential. Well the thing about potential is it’s only possibility, and the thing about all-rounders is they excel at nothing. Don’t get me wrong, it makes life pretty…. adequate. I’m rarely terrified of losing my job, for example, because I believe I can secure another one before we starve, even if it wouldn’t be my first choice. It’s never my first choice.

Anyway, like most ordinary people, I have dreams of the extraordinary. Like, for example, how one day I will be walking down the street and Putin will be coming the other way, and we will fall into casual conversation over, say, the unseasonable weather, and before you know it, I will have said something that gets him right in the feels, like, really in the heart, and later, he will broker a worldwide peace deal and it will all be because of what I said. Or that I am actual friends with Dolly Parton. Dreams, you know? Only dreams.

Anyway, Monday, 12th August, I was stung by a jellyfish – this was not the dream, you understand, though I did offer medical advice off google to assist a young child. Then Friday 23rd, I was bitten, twice, by a spider. Same ankle. It’s the 25th now, and I know, I just KNOW, that when the pain and swelling go down, I’m going to be fricking awesome. Don’t know how, but it’s gospel that I will, and there is potential for development, well, all round. I’m going to save the world. Or a life. Or a tree. I’m going to help where help is needed! I'm going to matter! Come to think of it…