Marigold

Kai wrinkled his nose just to get a whiff of what he knew was already there. Waking up to the scent of an empty bed and marigolds had become a norm. His crusted eyes blinked sluggishly as if he didn’t have to be at work in about thirty-four minutes. He didn’t move at first. He just laid flat on his back to allow the sun stripe peeking through his contrastingly dark blinds to bathe him with a sliver of warmth. Kai knew that was the only comforting solace he would have for the remainder of his long day.

“Hello to you too, Takuya.” Kai mumbled to the light curling around his face, wincing as the ache in his chest reminded him of his present. It seemed as if the aforementioned name was embracing him in greeting this morning, like some sort of protective force.

It was almost like Takuya was still here with him.

The earthy flavor of marigolds crawled up the insides of his throat, causing Kai to curl over and cough. His fingers bunched into the front of his green shirt like that would help alleviate the tickle threatening to rip him open. Kai was trying to keep his hacking at bay, but he could barely even move to grab the water pitcher on his nightstand. He used his other hand to cover his mouth, tasting the contents before they landed on his palm like a helicopter on a landing pad.

The pungent scent itself was enough to elicit his gag reflex.

Kai garnered enough strength to turn to the other side, where he had kept his trash can for the last week and a half. His hazel eyes burned as the contents brewing inside him emptied into the garbage. He caught a glimpse of the golden petals of a sun-kissed marigold flower.

“Damn…” Kai brushed his sweat-saturated bangs off his forehead with his clean hand, not speaking his shakiness into existence. He wipes the remaining blood from his chapped lips, lethargically sitting up from his fetal position. The unsettling dizziness had Kai reeling, insides climbing up the bars of his ribcage. His mouth failed to ail him as his throat swelled uncomfortably, his fingers squeezing the screams out of his esophagus. Kai’s voice was not living inside him; stems and petals fluttered through his voicebox. He could feel it as he inserted his hand past his open lips to pluck out each one.

Kai’s hands shook, golds and reds painting his skin beautifully sick.

At that moment, he knew. He knew it was coming.

Kai did not cry, not at all. Instead, his enervated eyes glimmered blissfully. He actually started–or tried to–laughing. The sounds should have filled the room with ubiquitous joy, but a cacophony of malignant laughter rang in Kai’s ears. The harder he laughed, the harder he coughed.

Fresh stains joined the crusty, old ones on his bedsheets as he flailed around the bed. Kai’s drenched fingers scavenged for the crumpled-up photograph lying peacefully beside his pillow. His breaths shortened further when he finally found it, clutching it with might.

So this was what it felt like to drown while also being burned alive, he thought.

His stinging eyes captured the image of the picture in his grip, holding it to his mouth and then his chest as the memories flooded over him like a raging wave of warmth. His lips murmured the name of the object of his desires repeatedly, even when no sound would come out.

He didn’t care. Nothing could take the name away from his tongue.

Takuya, Takuya, Takuya.

Kai lay on his back once more, letting his eyes shut to block out everything in front of him, so the beauty behind his favorite name was the only thing taking over every sense. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else ever mattered. Even though now he was forever a distant memory, not tangible to him or anyone else.

Kai wanted to punch something. He wanted to scream, to fight anything in his path. However, he could not move. His body refused to listen to him any longer.

He didn’t think today would be the day when he would finally be reunited with him.

Takuya, Takuya, Takuya.

The seams of his lips tore open as fingerlike branches slithered through the orifice, marigold petals scattering around Kai’s scrunched-up body. Kai’s eyes bore the liquid of love, red and pure, as it trickled out and pooled by his head to dye his hair. He hacked and vomited further and further as the seconds ticked and ticked, chest and tummy full. Kai’s deformed mouth smiled happily as his skin came to life, stretching and ripping his hopelessness to paper shreds. Kai’s iron fist never wavered around the photograph. He never let go, even after his body finished blooming.

He wondered if the flowers would come with him, like a bouquet to give to his dearly departed.

Kai didn’t even care if Takuya wouldn’t take it from him. He would let Takuya step all over the bouquet if he just let Kai hold him as he used to when they were kids.

Takuya, Takuya, Takuya. I know marigolds are your favorite. I grew these just for you.