Marigold Fields Forever

She never wanted to feel such anger and sadness simultaneously; she hadn't asked to feel such pain.

Rose wasn't angry at Jacob for passing of course; that was the shared human condition and Jacob, while the perfect man, was not an ever-living god (though he was the god of love, affection, and faithfulness that Rose had always needed). She was angry at cancer for taking someone away from her like that. She was angry at the god of Jacob's understanding for allowing that to happen. The world needed more good men like Jacob Miller; it did not require one less such person. Alas, her curses and her tears didn't bring him back...

She knelt in the Marigold field, their Marigold field, alone. She had spent many a night, and shared many memories, there with Jacob, the boy who became her best friend, the young man who became her first and current love, the man who became her husband, and the deceased who had left her widowed. If she couldn't spend time in the field alongside Jacob, Rosemary Miller (Pike) honestly preferred to be alone with her thoughts and her heartache.

She knelt in the field and absently picked the most beautiful Marigold that she could find on the bush. She delicately held the blossom by its stem to examine it closely. She even blew on the blossom. She absently sniffed at the picked bud. She even kissed it. She could only kneel absently in the Marigold Field, and hold that Marigold blossom 'tween her hands...

Lord of Jacob's understanding,

My husband thought to know you far better than I do. I would have been willing to start that relationship with you; through a proper guide.

My husband and proper spiritual guide, the love of my life, is gone; you allowed cancer to claim him.

Jacob had warned me against speaking to you in anguish. If you are really so powerful and merciful, you can accept my words as is.

It's not that I don't want to know you one day; I want to know NOW why my husband is no longer with me. You didn't have a better, more loyal servant in this plain; and you removed him from it.

I will try to know you some day. Please just accept that I'm not all that interested right now.

If you are out there, by the way, at least take better care of Jacob's ethereal spirit. Maybe I can see him again one day? That is, right now, my greatest request...

Rosemary barely heard a truck pull up in front of the old barn that concealed the Marigold Field. Then she heard the footsteps and sensed the flashlight beam. Finally, that beam swept over her and gave pause.

"You out thar!" came the voice of Sheriff Dudley. "You alright in the head, kneeling in an open field like so?"

Rosemary took a swipe at her eyes, then turned her head just enough for the Sheriff's flashlight to catch her face.

"Quite alright, Sheriff Dudley." she answered. "I'm just taking a moment in my...Jacob's and my...this Marigold Field."

The sheriff did back down in his initial vigil and set the flashlight down at his side.

"Quite understandable then, Miss Rosey Dear." the sheriff answered. "I saw a car in front of the abandoned barn and didn't reco'nize it as yers. I'll be taking you home in muh truck when you feel that yer at the ready."

Rosemary finally stood from her kneeling position and it was all that she could do not to chuckle out loud. Leave it to Sheriff Dudley's long string of social faux pas to make a person forget their troubles!

"That's alright, Sheriff." Rosemary answered. "Remember; you just said that I have my own car with me. I just need a moment to recompose."

Sheriff Dudley gave a single curt nod and picked up his flashlight again. However, before rounding the barn back to his truck to leave her in solitude, he glanced down the way right back at her.

"Gee-willickers; it's June the 8th tonight, ain't it?" he asked, scratching his brow.

"You know it, Sheriff." Rose answered with a bit of dampness behind her voice.

Sheriff Dudley nearly knocked his own hat off.

"Well, I'll be dagged...muh wife's birthday!" he exclaimed. "Oh; I best be home soon with a surprise a-waitin' the little dear!"

"Be well, Sheriff Dudley; best to your family." Rosemary offered pleasantly.

Sheriff Dudley first adjusted his hat, then he tipped it for the lady anyway, then his shadow vamoosed around the corner of the barn again since there was nothing to worry about.

Rosemary heard the truck turn over and pull out of the drive. She shook her head at the sheriff's lack of social etiquette and...was she actually grinning; and TONIGHT of all nights? Rosemary had thought that, without Jacob in her life, she had forgotten HOW to smile; let alone laugh. A life without Jacob Miller in it would never be happy or serene; perhaps it could at least be doable.

She glanced about at the wide open, empty Marigold Field one final time and plodded barefoot back up to the barn to recover her shoes before leaving. Rosemary Miller (Pike) was as ready as ever to face the world. Maybe one day she would face the lord of Jacob's understanding with a few gentler words...