Maceen and Al-khatoo

Maceen listened very carefully to the tale of the book,

for her path was guided by what lay in the tale.

The hallowing silence in the desert shall make it clear to you. You are not alone, thus it is not you, talking to yourself. Listen, there is something so close to you that is talking to you. Listen deeply, this voice is historically known. It is the tone of something between your father’s sighs and the echoes of the mountains, where you grew up. If you keep listening, I will tell you the tale of my tale, that’s the book you are carrying, the book that has made you invisible and visible at the same time. Yes, Maceen, my daughter, my companion, be here, be with me.

I am the darkest of dark books, quilted and wrapped in the whitest of white fabric. I have landed here, on this earth. But I am not from this place. My original birth is neither this place nor the place of stars. God’s hands sewed words in me. Heavens echoed the truth in me. I have many names but none of them is mine. But this truth is only known to those coming from the deepest part of the earth and going to the unknown horizons. I am the mother of all mothers, the father of all fathers. I am all that is to become Al-khatoo. I am your mother too. Under my wraps, I am more than words. I am your eyes. I am your ears. I am your heart. Blackest of all black. Whitest of all white. That's why they say. You see what I see. I feel what you feel. But I cannot be in the same place, before you. I am scattered everywhere. You are whole. Alongside you, I want to become whole.

Once upon a time, I found myself on earth in pieces, in pages. Words detached from my clothes. They joined the stars and the dust. In the darkness of the night, I still see them glitter. In the daylight, they settle deep in the cracks of the earth. None of them is reachable. None of them are re-collectable. Where am I then?

Watch out, Maceen. You are about to encounter an unwanted hill on your desert path. Don’t look at it directly. Keep your eyes closed, I will show you what is to come. In the hill are all things you seek. What you shall see is what you seek. Al-khatoo and the disappeared children. I am not their sole protector. I am not yours either. So don't look at them...

But as soon as you cross this hill, you can open your eyes. Open your eyes! There can you see what lies ahead of you? You need to take me there. We both belong there...I see you are anxious to go back to the hill for there lies your purpose. But what lies ahead is a tree larger than the North Mountain, in its roots there is hidden an answer to what you seek and why you seek what you seek. That's where an answer to where I come from can be sought too. To the tree, I cannot travel there myself, you can see why. In my last remains, I am attached to your waist. I have been in your forefather's possession for centuries. I have got no legs and no arms, no eyes without your eyes. Where I come from and why I am misplaced this way, are questions greater than any power. It is in my misplacement that I am everyone and no one's protector. Bad and Good lies in me. Al-khatoo and you.

There there...see it closely... see it clearly...Can you see it swing toward us? That's the tree. It is my Goft. Oh, how I, Daftar, have been lost forever only to find Goft here, now. What is to become of Goft or Daftar together... I feel the pain of nostalgia... I don't know if I can bear this pain. Tell me Maceen, can you be strong... can you... oh, take me back...take me back quickly...