Lost In The Trees

They say that sometimes it takes walking a mile in another's shoes to truly grasp what their existence is like, but what if I told you that exploration of fortunes first hand was not confined to the human experience? What if I told you that the greatest lesson I ever learned came from a transformation I would have never thought possible, one you yourself may be hesitant to believe? I will tell you upfront, you have every right to be skeptical of my tale. But perhaps, if you can suspend your disbelief for a few moments, you can learn the lessons I was too stubborn to give my time and attention before this adventure began.

I grew up traveling with my father up and down rivers in Belize to find as many nests of scarlet macaws as possible. My father, who grew up in small village within the Chiquibul Forest, understood the riches that could be mined from those great trees. He knew because his father and his father before him were all poachers. I know what you’re thinking and let me stop you right there. For them, it was not a hunt for great wealth, but rather the only thing they knew to do in order to keep food on the table and a makeshift roof over their heads. My family was not blessed to be the descendants of anyone of merit, at least not to the outside world.

My great grandfather was well respected in his village for his studies in natural medicine. A medicine man, some may call him today. But back in his day, he was just another part of the community. Someone who was always willing to lend a helping hand, but when his practices resulted in the loss of a woman and her still born twins, our lives were set down a different path. No longer were my ancestors those of great praise and merit, but instead we were taken under by my great grandfathers secret addiction to his own invention. A medicine that was in actuality a means for my great grandfather to fight off demons of his own.

Before my grandfather was born, my great grandparents had a set of twins of their own. Two beautiful, healthy little girls who had the power of the universe within them. They were born fearless and while that bred independence, it also attracted danger to their front door. Time and again, the twins would venture a little further into the forests surrounding their village. They would leave as the sun rose and not return until closer and closer to dark. My great grandmother would tell these grand stories about the twins adventures. How they had found a creature in the forest who began to show them aspects of a world beyond our own. A world the twins longed to explore for themselves. And so when a figure appeared to them when the twins were nine, they took him up on his offer without as much as a second thought.

“Haven’t you ever longed to soar through the skies? To see above and beyond this little village you call home and on to bigger and brighter horizons?” The twins looked up at him in awe, begging without uttering a single word for him to continue. “Emilia, you fall behind your sister Elena time and again and yet you do not give in. You do not accept your fate but instead, push through in order to feel the wind through your hair. I have watched the both of you running and playing through these trees for years. Do you not wish to keep up? Does your soul not long to fly without the restrictions of your leg?”

Emilia and Elena had not experienced an easy birth. Elena, the bigger and stronger of the twins, had cut off Emilia from much needed nutrients in the womb. During their birth, Emilia’s left leg had caught itself around her sister and as their father pulled them from the birth canal, her leg had broken. It broke his heart to see how Emilia’s leg healed. He tried his best with what knowledge he had of bone structure, but as in all things, Emilia was stubborn. Her body knew itself and so her leg had healed at a bow despite his best efforts, leaving my great grandparents to assume she would never be able to run and play as her twin sister Elena would.

But as I’ve said, Emilia was as stubborn as the day was long. She had more determination in her from birth than most adults could ever hope to cultivate. She fought back against fate, destiny, or whatever you may call it. Emilia had a spirit that would not be broken, and Elena loved to live in the sunshine that her twin sister embodied. And so when that stranger offered them a chance at freedom. When he wove a tale of magic and transformation which he knew Emilia could never resist, it was only natural for the more cautious Elena to go along. After all, who would want to stay on the ground and watch as their sister flew above the trees?

As night began to set on their village and the twins were nowhere in sight, my great grandfather knew something was very wrong. The girls were free willed, wild souls, but they were terrified of the dark. Getting them to sleep was a battle every night because as soon as darkness set in, they could see and hear monsters all around them. My great grandmother believed Elena was gifted with second sight. That she could see through the thin veil of our existence to another realm. Many times as a baby, my great grandmother would catch Elena looking over her shoulder during feedings. Her little eyes were transfixed by something no one else could see and as she grew older, the presence grew strong enough for even my great grandmother to feel. She begged Elena when she was older not to speak with these shadows, as Elena called them. But Elena was lonely. She had her twin as an almost built in companion, but as the two grew older, Emilia became more daring while Elena began to fear the shadows she once thought were friends.

Before she could pull Emilia to the side to caution her about this shadow man before them, the spell had been cast. Emilia vanished and Elena was left standing before him. “It would not do to send you both off together. Your sister longs for adventure and yet you would hold her back. Perhaps wings are not what you need, little one.” As he turned to leave, Elena reached out to grab the mans arm, only to find her hand passing right through him. He simply laughed to himself and continued onward, deeper into the forest as Emilia flew above him. A gorgeous scarlet macaw with one wing slightly shorter than the other, but that did not slow her down any longer. She was bright, loud and strong, and she was heading off with the shadow man. What was Elena to do? “Wait, please! You can’t leave me here without my sister. I…I’m not sure what to do without her.” The Shadow man stopped dead in his tracks, pausing a long moment before turning quickly and blowing a powder into Elena’s eyes. She cried out at first, attempting to wipe it from her eyes but that only seemed to press it further into the skin. Looking down at her hands, she noticed the sparkle of the powder in the moonlight. Elena turned, tears running down her cheeks, to run home until all at once her body was no longer her own. Where the little girl once stood, a second scarlet macaw now stood in her place. The shadow man collected his beautiful birds and was on his way, leaving behind nothing but the clothing and skin of the two girls on the ground in his wake.

You can imagine what finding such things would do to a father. My great grandmother could hear her husbands screams from deep in the forest as he discovered what he knew to be his daughters. It took all he had in him to gather the two piles and carry them home. It was all they had left to bury of their children and from that day, he swore to never allow a child out of his sight in that portion of the forest. For even he could feel the presence of the shadow man long after the spirit had left the area. He knew something unexplainable had happened, and as the years went on and my great grandmother gave birth to two sons, the story of the twins was passed down. A cautionary tale against being out in those trees after dark, only it wasn’t until two years later when two scarlet macaws began to hang around the property that the pieces came together. A woman with the gift of second sight strung together the story I tell you of them now, and my family did their best to look after the birds. But the greed of outside forces was too much for them to combat.

A group of poachers descended upon the property, claiming not only the neighboring nests, but killing the twins in the process. Imagine what that would do to you to have buried the pieces of your children some eight years before, only to be greeted once again with their bodies, transformed after being killed.

I’m sure you are wondering how after all of that, my family went on to be poachers themselves? The only word I have for it is desperation. My grandfather grew up with his brother in essence raising themselves. With my great grandparents lost in their own grief, it was up to my grand father and great uncle to find their own way. To them, you see, the story of the twins was nothing but a story. A way for their parents to caution them against venturing too far alone into the forest or staying out after dark. They found friends, grew up, and learned that poaching could grant them some semblance of stability. Enough to earn the food, clothing and supplies for repairs to their home that they had so desperately needed.

And so it was only natural for them to pass these practices down through our family. One generation to the next became poachers. We harnessed our craft and become one of the most efficient groups often hired by wealthy travelers who would visit from China in search of scarlet macaws of their own. It was on one such trip, as we journey now down the river, that I came to find out the story of Emilia and Elena was anything but a myth.

As we approached the set of trees my father had scouted in the weeks before the business mens arrival, he had sensed a presence amongst the trees. He was scared enough to hesitate as we docked the boat and helped the men climb out onto shore. “Papa,” I said, “If it really scares you this much, I will take them. I understand the process and I helped grand father lead the last expedition. I don’t mind taking point on this run.” My father nodded me off and took the front of the group as he always had. But as we ventured further into the trees, I too began to feel a presence. Only it was not as I thought it would be. Based on his description, I expected to dance with the shadow man himself, but this felt different. The anger pulsated, tugging at my arm as I walked, trying to hold us back from the cluster of nests we had found. I began to fall behind the group, feeling called towards a grouping of trees some twenty yards to our left.

If only I had thought to call out to my father to let him know I was diverting course, perhaps I could have been saved. But something in me tied my tongue. I knew I needed to go to that grouping of trees alone, and so I did. As a zombie would march mindlessly towards human flesh, I marched towards those trees and as I closed in, the shift of energy in the air was unmistakable. You see, I failed to mention before that I too was gifted with second sight. Only I fought it off with everything I had from the time I was a small child, where Elena embraced her gift. And so when I needed to be able to harness my second sight most, it was lost to me.

The air began to swirl around me, tugging and pulling me towards the trunk of the broadest tree. A tree that seemed completely out of place and as a shadowy figure stepped out from behind the tree, I understood why. This was not a tree from our world, at least not in full. It was as though somehow, our world and the realm that exists on the other side of the veil had been sown together. As the shadowy figure moved towards me, I noticed the limp in it’s left leg. As though from instinct I called out, “Emilia? Are you my great aunt Emilia?”. The figure stopped just long enough I thought I’d figured out a way to get through to her. That our being family would be what saved me, only I could not have been more wrong. The figure surged forward, engulfing me and forcing me to the ground. The harder I fought, the more firm her grasp on me became until she was able to free a hand and blow a powder in my face. My mind began to race, recalling every element I could of the story of Emilia and Elena, but it was too late. I was gone, now. Pulled firmly through the veil and into the world of shadows. I sat at the base of the tree that did not belong, attempting to understand what had happened. I could still see and hear my father and the group of business men hunting for the nests to my right, but they could not hear my cries. No matter how I screamed, they could not hear me.

I tried to apply logic where there was none and the moment the shadow woman turned her head at the sound of a scarlet macaw in search of her babies, I took off running. I surged forward, making it to my father faster than I had ever run before, only for my hand to pass right through him. I tried again and again with the same result, stopping only when my father registered the coldness of my presence passing through him. The shadow woman calmly walked towards me, resting a hand on my shoulder as she spoke these words I know give you, “what you hunt may one day hunt you. What you protect, honor and respect, will thrive and flourish in the light of your kindness.”. She gave me the choice the shadow man had given Elena. Stay in shadow, protect these majestic birds from those who would harm them, or become a bird yourself and risk death at the hands of those you love.

It was a simple choice for me, for I had the story of Emilia and Elena to guide me. I chose a life as a shadow worker. A protecter of all creatures, but especially of those hunted to extinction. But it was not only I who had much to learn. I began to teach Emilia that her rage, though affective at keeping poachers and other invaders of the area away for a time, guiding them could be twice as effective. And so we set out on our path, searching for those with the gift of second sight to bestow upon them what we had to learn painfully. That if you do not respect the beauty of this world, if you don’t take the time to protect it and instead sacrifice the lives of animals we should be caring for, that beauty will fade away. Just as I faded from this world that day in the trees.