Lost and found

It is literal hell to bring a child on a vacation. Babies can get scared or fussy and then you feel all the stares on you, everyone judging you for being a horrible parent.

Whether it' s in my mind or the truth, I tried to avoid all these unpleasantness as much as possible, I tried to stay home whenever I could, and forget about the whole idea of taking vacations.

So what was I doing there, boarding that plane with Jimmy in my arms? He was turning 4 months old, he was such a happy child most of the times, but I had never tried traveling with him. Thinking back with the times with my brothers was enough to make me dread the very experience.

But this was different, wasn't it?

We were going to meet his father.

How do you explain to your child that he doesn't have a father because he went back to his country before he knew, while you were having fights and had blocked each other from every social media?

At first I considered never telling him, but as the pregnancy went on, I realized I did want him to know, if only to see what an ass he was, how he would react to the news.

It took months for me to find him again, as we had no friends in common, having met in Oxford, before I went back to America and he went back to Norway. And months more before we had the courage to discuss things calmly, and realize that the fling we had wasn't just a fling, but maybe something bigger.

I would have much preferred he come to New York, but he was stuck in his job and he needed to keep it, so that left me, I could make the trip. And then we would know if we had a future together, as a family, or if I go home, alone.

I had high hopes, we talked every day, he seemed overjoyed at the thought of having a son, and seeing me again.

A lot was riding on this plane ride, and Jimmy was taking everything in with wide eyes, not making a sound. The flight would take over 7 hours, nonstop, I hoped he would say calm and not make this hell for me or everyone else.

Every time I thought this, I felt like a horrible mother, but there was nothing I hated more than attracting attention, than all eyes and stares on me.

I got to my seat with no hassles other than post-covid airport wait lines and such, and Jimmy was smiling at me and taking it all in with calm and serenity.

My carry-on took a whole other seat, I hoped the plane wouldn't be overbooked, and no one would come to claim the seat, because I needed all these on hand to keep him occupied, fed, cleaned, and entertained.

When the plane finally took flight, I felt an irrational wave of fear, where was I going? What was I doing? On the promise that he would welcome us with open arms and build a family, like we had talked about... but was it worth all the trouble?

Hormones! And I thought it would be over with the delivery!

I settled down and smiled at Jimmy, who was starting to get sleepy. I mirrored his yawn and he giggled softly, no one seemed to notice. I looked out the window into the sky, which was turning pretty hues because of the coming twilight, and, exhausted, I fell asleep.

I woke up with a start. Maybe there had been an air pocket, a sharp drop? I felt worried without knowing why. Jimmy was asleep, looking like a little angel. My leg was cramped and I had to go to the bathroom... badly.

Of course, Jimmy's diaper probably needed a change too, but I didn't want to disturb him. We were halfway through the flight, I learned through a quick check on my watch. About 4 hours left, but my bladder wouldn't last so long. I really needed to go.

As carefully as I could, I lifted Jimmy onto the next seat and settled him gently there. I didn't want to leave him there like that, but it was for a few minutes only. The lights were dim, everyone was either resting, sleeping or watching tv, or listening to music.

I glanced at Jimmy's little huddle on the seat one last time before grabbing my phone and going for the nearest toilet, which I found, amazingly, empty and ready for use.

As soon as my business was done ( well to be truthful, during) I took out my phone to check messages. Why was it so heartwarming to see his text, and the picture he had sent?

A welcome home banner, Welcome Home Judy and Jimmy.

I felt like crying, Norway wasn't my home and he knew it, but with all we had talked about... we were going to make our family home.

The doubts I had been feeling seemed to evaporate, I surprised myself by seeing a smile in my reflection. The fear was trickling away slowly, we were going to be all right.

I went out of the toilet and tracked to my seat quickly, wanting to hug the living life out of my baby. I blinked when I got to it because something was off.

The seat was empty.

I backtracked and checked the aisle. But it was the right seat. I recognized my stuff, the only thing missing was my baby.

I checked down, had he fallen? But wouldn't that have made him wake up? Cry? Where was my baby?

I became a little dizzy, I couldn't stand straight. Where was my baby? He could barely sit on his own, he couldn't crawl, he hadn't run off! So where was he?

I checked down again, I moved my bags, expecting something, anything, I could not have lost him. How did this even happen?

" I'm sorry, did you see my baby?" I asked the passenger closest to us, great idea, as he had been dozing.

He woke up with a start, I was actually shaking him, not exactly aware of what I was doing anymore. I went to every passenger, causing quite a ruckus, moving them around to try and see... but where was my baby???

I kept expecting him to be there, just pop up, he could not be gone!

I also saw him crawling ( but how??? He could not even crawl yet!!) right out of the plane into the flow of air. Crawling right on that plane wing,defying all laws of physics, I was going out of my mind.

Well a screaming, hysterical woman does not go unnoticed in a quiet airplane and soon ( although it seemed like two eternities for me, everyone was so sluggish, waking and looking so confused, while I was losing MY MIND, why couldn't they just move and tell me what I wanted to know, tell me where my baby was!) everyone was rousted up and looking around dumbly, until the flight attendants finally arrived.

Salvation? Not sure about that, but I nearly ran into the first one's arms, almost knocking her over. "Please help me find my baby! " I urged.

"What is the problem here? " she asked, talking a few steps back, eyeing me warily. They were trained to be suspicious of any unusual attitudes, perceive people as threats, who knew what she was thinking about me right now, but it wasn't as though I gave a hot damn.

"My baby is gone, my baby, I lost my baby, "I managed to sputter out, the only coherent words that would come except sobs.

"You had a baby in this section? "

"Yes I brought him here, you think I put him in a pet cage! Where is he, where did he go?? " I demanded. These people! Why did they all look at me at me as though I was crazy, as though they had not noticed a thing. The problems of others were not their concern, I was just making noise.

"Well how old is your baby? When did you lose sight of him? "

"I went to the bathroom, he was sleeping, I put him on the seat, I went to the toilet, and when I came back, I, I spent maybe 5 minutes in there, I swear! He was gone, he wasn't there anymore, and he is 4 months old, there is no way he could have crawled, he can't even sit up properly yet so there is no way he could have crawled outside! "

The flight attendant looked even more confused by my explanation. " Let's just calm down, all right? Your baby can't be far, so if he is here, we will find him. Are you on any type of medication, Miss? "

I could have hit her. I wanted to, to imply that I was losing my mind for another reason than losing my baby.

But I didn't have time to waste on her.

Everyone was rousted from sleep, looking under their seats, some teenagers were snickering under their breaths, some businessmen in economy) grumbled and tried to get back to sleep, some women, ( probably mothers themselves) were looking at me with sympathy, but no one was finding my baby.

Strange, I hadn't realized I was the only mother in that section, no one else had children with them. Now I was making more noise than five crying babies combined but I could not help it, no one was understanding me!

"Did any of you see this woman's baby? " asked the flight attendant, Carla by her nametag.

"No sorry, I was busy on my phone, so sorry, "a woman said looking on the verge of tears for me.

"Anyone has seen her baby? Anyone?" the flight attendant asked, as though she expected them to just pop my baby up out of nowhere. A part of me hoped for that too). No one acknowledged or even ventured an opinion. "Didn't even see a baby, " one of the businessman grumbled.

Usually that comment would have made me feel proud, as I hated being the center the attention, but now it was a bit despairing. No one had seen or noticed anything?

"What does your baby look like dear? " an old woman asked gently.

I pulled out my phone and showed some pictures ( my space was almost full again) and just to see his little face made me want to cry. How could I have lost him?

The old woman hugged my shoulder in sympathy. "Don't worry we're on an airplane, he can't be far. Someone must know where he is, "

Her words made me realize the obvious. Why was I thinking he had gone away on his own somehow? "Someone took him, " I breathed out in shock.

"Oh my god someone took him! "

With the amount of crazy people in the world, this was even more scary than the alternative, which was impossible in any case.

"Someone took him! "I all but screamed, and shoved the flight attendant out of the way to get to another section.

Her outraged cry was lost on me, I was frantic, why would anyone want to take a baby in the middle of an airplane, to do what?

That was what scared me the most, turning my guts to jelly. To do what???

From Economy to Premium Economy, I stormed the plane, scanning every face, looking at every child I could find ( and there were preciously few), looking for my boy, looking for a shape that looked vaguely like a baby, looking for a measure of sanity in this unreal dystopian flight.

I would have loved to believe I was asleep, dreaming, in the middle of a nightmare, that I would wake up soon, and see Jimmy smiling at me, his beautiful eyes staring at me, trying to pierce the secrets of life.

If I could just wake up.

"Miss, calm down, you can't go in there! "the flight attendant said, trying to catch up with me, as I was heading straight towards First-Class.

But no one could stop me or stand in my way, even though I had managed to rouse the whole plane and more flight attendants were in pursuit.

I would find my baby, I could not give a damn about rules and regulations. I crossed the partition between Business class and First class ( and now about 5 flight attendants were on my tail, and probably one of the plainclothes security officers) and heard him crying.

The relief was so immense I almost collapsed, but instead rushed forward, tears freefalling out of my eyes.

He was in a woman's arms, she looked mid-thirties, shushing him softly, looking at him lovingly.

I stumbled and fell to my knees next to her seat. "Thank you so much for finding him, " I said, overcome by the emotion.

I moved to grab him hungrily, and he stopped crying , seeing me coming for him. But she pulled away from me, glaring at me as though I was insane.

"Excuse me! What do you want? " she exclaimed. Her voice was hoarse and I found it completely offensive. All I wanted was to rip Jimmy out of her hands but the flight attendants had finally caught up and they held me back when I lunged for my baby.

"She's insane! " the woman cried out.

Oh my god, you took my baby! How dare you take my baby? " I growled at her, ready to tear her apart.

" This is my baby! " she retorted.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me! "I roared, that was enough, that was too much, what was that joke! I could have killed her right there and then, and the flight attendants had some work holding me back, enough so that some passengers became alarmed.

"It's my baby, you bitch, how dare you take him, I'll kill you! "

She escaped to the other side, protected by some flight attendants and passengers. I couldn't believe that they were all coming in my way, wasn't it obvious what she was doing?

"This woman is insane, help! " she cried out.

"You took my baby, how could you take my baby?!"

"Look, I don't know what's going on, but her baby kept fussing, " one of the first class passenger said. "It's definitely her baby, she had him from the start, "

" Thank you, " she said in relief.

"What??" I cried out, almost lunging out of the hands of my captors. This was past insane.

"She is lying, this is my baby, my Jimmy! "

As though to punctuate my affirmation, Jimmy started crying harder. It seemed as though everyone was losing their minds and didn't know what to do.

"Call the captain, " one of the flight attendants said, before all the passengers pitched in and started getting rowdy, which was on the verge of happening.

They whisked us both away in their workspace while reassuring the passenger that this matter would be tended to and the mystery explained.

Most passengers just wanted to go back to their lives and forget about the whole matter but others were interested, perhaps morbidly, into what was going on.

Not that I cared about them, all I wanted was to hold my baby again.

The captain was not happy to be forced out of the cockpit. The flight attendants had gone to get our things, and had brought everything ( and emptied everything) on the table where they prepared meals, etc, for the passengers.

Our 'gear' was so similar, diapers, bottles, creams for the rash, wipes, the whole nine yards, so to speak. I felt hollowed out seeing that we were both the same. She was a mother, maybe, but not to my son. And I didn't understand any o fit, if she had her own baby, why take mine? And where was hers?

"This is a joke? " the captain muttered after the head flight attendant explained the situation.

" She took my baby! " I intervened, taking that as my cue.

"She wants to take my baby! "the other woman said at the same time, which seemed to give the captain a headache.

"Look, ladies, you know which baby is yours, why are you causing these troubles? What is going on here? "

Obviously ( or so a rational part of my mind, rendered tiny by the panic and anger, informed me) he thought that this might be some sort of diversion for something else. A real threat. Since 9/11, everyone had to be careful.

"Yes, this baby is mine, and this woman is insane, " the woman said indignantly.

¨ It's my baby, and you should give him back to me, because you can be damn sure I will sue your airline for gross misconduct, or whatever else I can make stick. This woman stole my baby, I don't know where hers is, but Jimmy is mine, and give him back. He must be hungry by now, "

"No he is fine, I just breastfed him, " the woman said.

I felt like vomiting. "You did what?! " I exclaimed. Somehow the thought was even more repulsive to me than to think Ray could be unfaithful. That this woman just grabbed my baby and then forcefed him her breastmilk? What about diseases? I wanted to kill her.

"This is my baby, he is 4 months old, he is called Corey, after his greatgrandfather, I had him by csection, I am not yet fully healed, do you want to see? "

"Do you want to see? " I growled. "Because I have so many pictures! Can I have my PHONE, please!"

The flight attendant glanced at the captain, who was crossing his arms in confusion. Mostly as to why two women would be fighting over a baby, obviously only one of them could be the mother.

He tilted his head in agreement and they gave me back my phone; I flashed my full gallery at them, so they would feel like fools.

No doubt in my mind that now they had to give me my baby back! But the captain looked at all my pictures, then at the baby, critically, of all things.

" I have pictures too, " the woman said stiffly, she seemed to loathe me completely. That made two of us then, but as I knew I was right, where did she get that spite? How dare she lie like this, what game was she playing and why?

The captain examined the pictures on her phone as well, more than once rubbing his left temple, as though he was developing a headache.

" Look, ladies, we will alert the authorities about this and they will sort things out in Oslo, a DNA test or such, but it' s not within my purview to decide- "

" Are you frickin kidding me?! " I exploded. " She will not hold my baby one second longer, this woman is a liar and a thief! "

The captain anticipated that I would start a whole fuss ( rightfully so) and so put her phone gallery in my face.

Dozens of pictures, and it all looked like my son. How could two babies be so alike, it was impossible. But when I looked at him in her arms, he was staring at me, and I knew, without a doubt, that he was mine.

Whatever this woman was doing, she was lying. I didn't know why , I didn't need to know why she was crazy. I needed to get my son back.

" Probably some app on there, but you can't believe anything on there, she stole my baby from my seat, she is insane. So if you don' t give him back to me- "

" He' s wearing those clothes in her pictures, " the flight attendant ( she hated me) said to prove me wrong.

" Obviously she changed him, check her things, he was wearing his light blue jumper with Tigger on it, and the diaper was a Huggies, and his undershirt was white with a ketchup stain I can' t get out, and he was wearing little knitted blue slippers, find them, check the trash in the toilet or something, obviously she threw it away! And put her clothes on! "

" She's insane, " the woman said, going to give my son a kiss on the forehead.

I wanted to vomit, or rather... I almost lunged for her, but as they were all looking and ready to protect her, of course, protect her! - I grabbed her bag and spilled the contents all over he table under their outraged cries.

" Ma' am, please! Please! The authorities will resolve this in Oslo! " the captain said while they tried to subdue me.

" She won't get to hold him until then! " I growled as I went through everything, wanting proof, some kind of undeniable proof that would show her for the fraud she was.

" You take the baby, then, she won't get to hold him, who knows what she will do to him? You take him, she won't lay her hands on him! "

" I am not letting my baby in any strangers' hands! " she replied, and somehow I caught their stares. That she was being a better mother, protecting her child like this, than I was.

" Oh don't you dare try to Solomon this, you bastards! " I growled, not that they seemed to understand the reference.

" You are a very troubled young lady, " the woman said with tears in her eyes.

I could have crushed to a pulp, I wanted to, in fact, it took all of my self-control not to jump at her throat.

But it seemed I would lose this fight until we got to Oslo... but I saw from the things in her purse that she came from there, from her passport and some of the writing in the diapers and wipes brands she had in there. So, I began to fear, a cold dread enveloping my heart... what if she had an accomplice? What if they were all working for her, with her?

I couldn't wait for ' authorities ' in Oslo, I had to prove my point right now!

" Ma' am, go back to your seat, we have already alerted the police and they will look into this when we land. I have to go back to the cockpit, all right? Just calm down, you will get the help you need in Oslo, "

Incredibly condescending on his part, they were not looking at this objectively at all. Was it my hairdo, my hair color, my age? Why would they believe her and not me?

I felt so helpless, how could something that should have been obvious be so difficult to make them understand?

In the papers from her purse, there was her baby' s passport. I had mine too, of course, Jimmy' s passport, but they had barely looked at it. Had they even looked at hers?

Corey Larsen, born December 5th 2022, in Oslo, Norway. Nothing that I could use to prove - .

They all thought I was crazy already, but when I started laughing hysterically, they must have thought I had blown my last fuse.

" Take her back to her seat, make sure she stays quiet, " the captain was instructing the others when I put the passport in his face.

" How does she explain this? " I said triumphantly. I saw the flisker of fear in her eyes, and knew I had her.

Maybe in a few years when they will pass laws to ban assigned sex at birth, my proof would be invalidated, but thankfully, it was not this day.

Corey Larsen was a girl.

The captain's face changed abruptly. It was hard to tell a baby's gender at that age, but now he had a means to see who was telling the truth without a doubt. It made me feel better to see he did not hesitate.

" Hand me the baby, " he told the woman.

" No! " she refused, looking desperate. This made Jimmy cry, she was holding him too tightly, hanging on desperately, and the captain took this as a sign, finally!

He tilted his head and the security officer and the other male flight attendant grabbed her while the captain took Jimmy away from her. No one liked to be taken for fools ( FINALLY!) and while she yelled in scandinavian, he took my baby aside to look in his diaper. Usually this would have alarmed me, but this was the way to get my son back, I wasn't going to say anything.

He was all red when he gave my son back to me. " I am so sorry, ma' am, " he said.

She started crying brokenly, but I couldn't feel anything but spite for her. I didn't care about her sob story, all I knew is that she had tried to steal my baby, and I hoped she would rot in hell for this.

Jimmy was back in my arms, his tears gone, looking at me as though he was a little angry with all the hoopla. I kept kissing him, I simply could not stop. The relief was making me tremble and I needed to sit down, but it was a good weakness.

" We are so sorry about this, let me put you in first class, and offer you some, uh, drinks, anything you want, the authorities will deal with her. "

" Can I have my phone please? I want to make a call, can I? "

" Ok, just one, as long as it's... personal, " the captain said.

I didn't realize what he meant until after I called Fredrik. He didn' t want me to contact reporters.

But that was the very last thing on my mind. He wasn't answering, probably swamped with work, so I left a voicemail.

" I hope we will work this out, because I am warning you, I am never taking another flight again. Can't wait to see you again, "

I was wiping tears from my face ( and still kissing Jimmy every two seconds) when his answer came.

" Welcome home, "