Letter to Linda

"Hi dear Linda.

Let's start from the beginning, if you will...

I'm Ryan and I'm already there. You must be reading this letter after my funeral. Forgive me if we give empty hopes, but they are not.

I'm Ryan and you are my second love. You don't know anything about her - about the first one. She is there too because she died and I became an alcoholic who found happiness in you. It hurt to death, but it was nice when you appeared: so nervous and beautiful; with blond hair and the sea in the eyes; with a very long tongue and the unforgettable sarcasm; with thin fingers that masterfully play the guitar ... Today we will play it again, watch "Hopes burn with a bright flame" and eat your favorite macaroni and cheese ... Again a happy night with you, only a pity the last one.

If you are interested in the reason, then read to the end, because first I will tell you about my secrets that I hid from you.

Yes, of course, we were together not so long ago, but believe me, I sobbed when I died, and your eyes, full of tears, stood in front of mine.

Probably you are now sitting all black, with red eyes that will lose time, and with my letter, in a cemetery, surrounding yourself with graves. Don't do this, go and leave, please. Let this be my last request. Do you remember what I asked you when I left? I hope so...

I fell in love with you at first sight. You didn't believe in this version of love, but you did, no matter how funny it sounded in your head in my voice. Do you remember him? Yes? Then forget it, please.

I won't say her name, but I will say that she changed my life. Her hair was like silk, which you want to press to your face and feel all the pleasantness and tenderness. Green eyes, like nature, lured my brown ones to absorb all their beauty. But they got sick. Every day they got minty, and then they closed. Her hair turned to straw, and her arms to bones, just wrapped in pale skin. She was insanely beautifully ill. And she died - she was taken by the very woman to whom I would give my soul. It's a pity we won't meet in heaven...

Linda... Get off my grave that says Ryan Josh Blake. Go and don't be cold, Karen is waiting for you, she hasn't left yet.

And take off your glasses, I want to see your eyes.

Just know that I'm good. Hell is not what everyone imagines it to be. It's dark and hot, but there's no point, just like hope.

Come to my house and find water in the bathroom where peonies float for you. There are too many to fit in a vase, and I know how much you love them. Near them is another note, please give it to Karen ... She must understand me and let her not think that it is her fault or Harris's. I see that she is not crying so be it.

And don't cry, you hear! Those rivers that start with your beautiful, beloved gray eyes... PLEASE STOP THEM! LET THEM DRY!

I know you didn't listen to me, so look at the flowers in the ground on the grave, it's me. Know that I am near. I will always be there. Somewhere in the heart, as everyone says. Accept that I'm dead in the ground, but I still love you.

Also, as funny as it sounds the second time around, I saw Liam. He is happy because he is looking at his Kate from our island, and I am from heaven. I'm cunning, so I can get into heaven, where I can see you, but not her. It's a pity.

It is strange that I write to you, but I mention her, but I want you to know about her and do not ask more, I will not answer; I won't dream I will not come; I won't throw things or walk around your house. I will stand by your side and beg you not to cry. Suicidal people can't talk, remember?

I'm really sorry it happened this way, Lin. But I couldn't live like this. Everything fell on my shoulders and I tested my hopes. The miracle no longer shone - it went out. Things were on point, you know? Karen has fallen in love with Harris and clearly does not want to continue the business, but he takes advantage of it. Can't you see? So look closely and hammer it into her head that this is the truth. And tell me that they don't take offense at the truth... Don't forget the note for her. It's funny, but it's important to me, as is this one. Take the peonies for yourself, but as soon as they begin to wither, then please throw them in the trash and leave the city as planned. Move to LA and finish your studies. Carry out all your plans, please.

Don't forget to throw away our pictures or burn them. Destroy everything that has ever bound us. And memories too, Lin.

Oh yes, the reason.

Stupid, stupid reason. You're probably going to cry even more now that you read it, but I'm sorry. I will pray for everything all my eternity.

Read a little higher again. I lost hope and destroyed faith in a miracle. Here's the reason. Life has become hard, Lin. Exist more accurately.

There is nothing that makes me happy but you. Sometimes it was hard with you, but I love it when there are difficulties, even if they bring me to the rope.

I will be very grateful if you can finally get up from your chair and go to the car now, because it's cold outside. You have to go to my apartment today and pick up flowers and a note and nothing else, Linda. No T-shirt or sweatshirt, I'll take it from you anyway. This will be the only time I will come.

I know... You saw this as an opportunity, but don't take it, please. Take off all the black and live. Put on your favorite dresses and be happy. Just look: it's cold outside and you need to put on a jacket.

Fine...

That's it.

Bye.

I'm Ryan and I love you."