Last Day on Earth

The barn had filled with wet sand and I regretted not taking my shoes off to feel it squish between my toes. I couldn’t do it now – you can relive a memory, but you can’t change it. I didn’t do it all those years ago, so I can’t do it now.

Dad’s old barn was in the process of being claimed by the ocean. All that was left inside was the sand and the moving tides. There’d been horses once, and a goat. Doing daredevil stunts in the rafters had thrilled me when I was young. It was Dad’s dream to own a barn and run a farm. He wanted to leave his old life behind and spend the rest of his days with us in peace. Of course, the past doesn’t stay where you want it to, but that wasn’t Dad’s problem. It was mine.

I was waiting for Dad even though I knew he wasn’t coming. Like I said, you can’t change a memory. I don’t know why I chose this place. I had weeks to make my decision, countless hours to refine my choice to the one perfect memory. I obsessed about it, fell asleep thinking about it, and woke up mid-thought. When the time came, however, it was like my life was empty. All I could think of was this place, at this moment. So, here I am, spending my one government-allocated memory revisitation on a disappointment.

It wasn’t all that bad. This was the last day I spent on Earth. If I recall correctly, this was one of the last days anyone spent on Earth. The sky was that beautiful, deep purple it took on before the end, with the violet-pink sun shining through the dark noxious clouds. I spent most of my extraterrestrial life on space stations, but the few planets I visited were not as alien as my last day on Earth. It was eerie how silent everything was. There were no more animals at that point, no birds chirping in trees or the distant bark of a dog. Hell, even the insects were dead and gone. There was a gentle wind, but the trees were too far away to hear the rustle of the leaves. The only sound was the lapping ocean on the sand, the rush as the water went under the barn, and my breathing.

The air was salty on my lips. I always loved the taste of the ocean. If I had to pick something I missed the most about Earth, that would be it. The first time I lived this day was a personal tragedy and even through that heavy emotion, I remember the taste of the sea. I adjusted my feet in the sand – God, I wish I had my shoes off! – and waited. The water-rotted wood moaned softly, as though it were suddenly surprised to see me standing there. Then, it too fell into silence. There was nothing here.

I never saw my father again after that day. He tried calling a few times but by then, I was off-planet. I’d killed the part of me that cared about him. I didn’t want to hear his voice, see his face thin with age on the video calls. I’d waited hours here at the barn, I almost missed the flight that saved my life. He was supposed to come with me but it was the same old story. The past he tried to bury was never quite dead. There were always old comrades that needed help, a family that needed their records rewritten. Dad helped everyone except the people he was obligated to: his family.

The pink sunlight faded towards darkness, then exploded into a bright white brilliance. I guess my five minutes is up. Across the water, at the most distant point I could see, everything was fading away. When it reached me, I’d be gone. My father’s old barn would be the last thing I’d ever see. Five minutes ago, it felt wasteful to have chosen this memory to spend my final moments in, but it wasn’t bad after all. I haven’t felt peace like this in years. The Federation had been hounding me for so long, even before they officially announced Dad as a traitor. He wouldn’t – or couldn’t – come forward, so they took me instead. Maybe they thought his father’s love for me would bring him out of hiding. Maybe he was already dead. Regardless, the Federation said they’d kill me for his crimes, and how could the government back down from a threat?

I’d always been scared of dying, but there was no fear at that moment. Just the wet sand, the salty air, and the barn. The white light rushed towards me, faster now that it was closer. I swallowed and, despite everything, smiled softly. I closed my eyes and then – nothing.