Lajamanu

I reflect on the first night when the car died. I remember how the engine slowed to a paralyzing silence, everything went pitch black. I cried. Getting to Alice Springs was always going to be impossible. I searched my existence for an answer, hoping my biology would keep me alive. My sobbing ceased as I recalled something I was told about surviving out here in the dark, 'Find the moon, then follow the light down’. It was an old Aboriginal bloke I met in Katherine who told me, he furthered that ‘everything will open up.'

I stepped out of the car, did as he said, and I saw the night sky like never before. It created a spotlight shining over the bush as the stars opened up, the moon emptied light onto my path. The Milkyway looked so clear and the sense of language, culture, loss, and the knowledge not taught to me. Isn’t it funny how what I needed to learn wasn’t taught at school? Standing on this land, walking on this country. I guess, why would I need to know, living in the city was fine until the invasion began.

I walked all night because he said it was the best way to travel in the outback. He also told me, ‘make a campfire. When the campfire goes out, lay on the dirt’. I did exactly that when it was time to sleep. Once the fire burnt out to coals, I piled dirt over, patted the ground to check the heat, and then lied on top with only a shirt over me. I think about her, I think about how I promised her Darwin would be safe. I didn’t think they would attack the whole coastline. The fire underneath the earth keeps me warm. These ways, these traditions, it was hard for me to grasp how long they have been practiced.

Three days have passed now as I’ve walked this land, the hunger and thirst have put me in a state of euphoria, where I feel like I’m now somewhat connected to the land in a more spiritual way. Even though the man imparted this knowledge onto me, to help me get wherever I’m going, why the hell didn’t I ask him how to find food and water. I’m such an idiot, I was so arrogant back then. Maybe this state I’m in is the reason he didn’t tell me? I wonder if it would have been better to die a quick death from those creatures that crashed to earth, instead of what this is. I’m sunburnt as the sun hits me during the day, and I’m freezing at night. A mixture of the two clashes with my body as I’m trying to adjust the land around me. As I take each step, I feel like I’m connecting more and more to a culture that has been here for thousands of years. Sure I was born here but I know it’s not my land, me being a white Australian male walking in these shoes, somehow for the first time though I feel like I’m at home. Although I’m also lost. These last few days with no food or water make me struggle to drag my feet to climb this hill, and yet I have arrived somewhere. I see a town in the distance, it’s small, but civilization is all I need. My body has given up producing the sweat it needs, I go weak at the knees, I sway and everything goes black.

Voices speaking a language unfamiliar to me, I only know how to speak English but I’m familiar with the sound of Asian and European languages, which this is neither. I open my eyes, discovering I’m lying on a mattress, I touch my head, there’s a bandage tied around it. I’m in what looks like a run-down living room, on the floor with two old couches angled in front of me, the stuffing bursting out the tears. A dog sits on one couch and holds his gaze. I look over to the chatter, two men stand arguing, a young guy with short shaved hair and wearing an AFL Tigers jersey, and the older man taller with long curly hair. They both stop and stare at me.

“You feelin alright now young fella?”, the older man says.

Shocked from the sudden change to English, it takes me a moment with a throbbing head to reply, “I have a cracking headache, but yeah I think I’m good.”

“Japangardi, rdipimi mani jiwiri”, the curly-haired guy says to the young man, who then runs out the front screen door.

“Where am I?”

“You in Lajamanu, my son Josias is gettin ya water. My name’s Paulie, you stay resting for the moment. It’s gonna get dark soon, you can come out and meet the rest of the mob by the fire when it does.”

“Thanks, Paulie, I’m Marcus. Can I ask how I got here?”

“One of the mob brought you in, found ya just outside of town.”

I wonder how long I was lying out there.

“Oh. this necklace thing is yours”, he says stepping over and placing the heart-shaped locket in my hand. “Who’s the young good looking girl in the photo with ya?”

I look at the locket knowing Paulie had seen inside, “It was my girlfriend, she um, was taken. It’s all I’ve got left of her.”

“Sorry to hear, know all about that feelin. In many ways.”

I sit on Paulie's last few words as Josias comes back inside carrying a clear plastic container full of water and handing it to Paulie.

“Here, fill up the water bottles in your bag. Got some fruit and nuts for ya as well.” Paulie reaches over to hand me the water and suddenly stops, “Don’t skull this ya hear, you’ve been too far gone without it. If you drink this too quickly right now it’ll kill ya.”

“Okay, thank you”, I take the water and his words as gospel.

The two men leave out of the front screen door, the kelpie sitting on the couch jumps off and follows after them, pushing the door open with his nose. I pick up the water container, unscrew the lid and lift it to my mouth. The water rushes out, I take slow gulps controlling the flow, a small stream runs over my lips and down my chest. I place the container back to the ground, wishing I could have emptied it, but still feeling satisfied. Another Aboriginal man has saved me with his knowledge.

The sky is bleached in orange as the sun lowers on the horizon. I watch a large group of young boys kicking a football around in the red dirt of a dusty oval. I’m almost mesmerized by their sheer joy, with the dust being kicked up in the air covering their skin. They scream, laugh, and play. I haven’t seen this happiness for some time, their innocence, so unaware of what is occurring around the rest of the country.

With no electricity means no working street lights when night sets in. I can hear voices in the distance with the language still unknown to me, the sound of fire cracking can also be heard while they speak. One of the young boys runs over to me, “Have your people been taken too?”

“Yes they have”, I reply.

“It’s okay white man, we look after ya. Come on”, he runs off waving his arm to follow. Looks like I’m not the only white-skinned person that’s turned up here and these children know more than I thought. I arrive at a large group of forty to fifty people of all different ages sitting in a wide sandpit around a fire, they all stop talking and look at me as I approach. It’s a surreal feeling being the only non-indigenous person in a crowd. Paulie and Josias sit next to an old man with frizzy grey hair and a matching beard, he speaks across the circle, “Take a seat young white fella, I’ve been told your name is Marcus. Have some food.”

I sit down on an empty spot, next to the young boy from before who's smiling up at me. A young woman brings over a plate of food, I thank her, it’s some kind of meat.

“Kangaroo”, the old frizzy-haired man says from across the fire.

“Thank you”, I put a piece to my mouth and bite down letting the juice ooze out. My eyes widened, this is easily the most delicious thing I’ve eaten for weeks.

“My names Earl Jampitjinpa Hargraves, I’m an elder here. This is Warlpiri country, although we are two clans, Gurinji and Warlpiri. With two languages, the main language we speak is Guriinji. Please tell me your story, where have you walked from?"

I put the plate down on my lap, “I traveled from Katherine, escaping the invasion. Drove as far as I could to Alice Springs, until the car broke down."

Everyone around the fire was silent, maybe I didn't tell them enough information. Paulie whispers something into Earl's ear, Earl looks at him and nods.

“You can stay here as long as ya like, we’ve been safe in this town. There’s a few hundred of us mob here. We know those Aliens don’t like the heat and rough country, they’ve tried traveling at night when it’s cold but died the next day in the sun. It’s believed many other mobs are thriving across the land, away from the coastal areas that have suffered. Alice Springs is the biggest place untouched. If ya wanna trek there like others, ya on your own. If ya stay here though, you learn our language and way of life.”

“I understand, do you need an answer tonight?”

“No, you decide tomorrow.”

“Thank you. It’s good to see everyone doing so well out here.”

Silence again, only this time it feels different.

“We’ve always done well out here”, a woman finally speaks up.

I look over at the burly elderly woman, “This has always been our place".

Her response cuts deep, I am unsure what to say.

“Invasion is a painful thing”, Earl adds.

I look at Earl, and behind him in the darkness a few feet away, I see the man who imparted the knowledge to help me survive. He’s staring at me.

“Marcus”, Earl brings back my attention. “Eat up, you are weak from your journey, and need to get your strength”.

The Aboriginal man from Katherine is gone. Was I seeing things? The voices grow again around the fire, speaking the Gurinji language.

I wake up to the Kelpie licking my face, it’s daylight. I jump out of my skin, Paulie and Josias are standing right over me. "You staying or goin?”, Paulie asks.

“Um, yeah I think I’ll stay for a little bit”, I reply, rubbing my eyes.

“Deadly! We’re goin huntin. Get changed, you can bring water but ya don’t need your bag. Josias will be teaching you our language while we walk”.

Josias nods, with a narrow smile.

“We’ll be outside, don’t take too long”, Paulie says as they leave out the screen door. I throw my shirt and shoes on, pick up the heart-shaped locket from the ground, then stop with the item in my hand. Observing the gift to her, memories of us and our time together play out through my mind. I open it, look at the photo of Stacy and me, both smiling at a beach. This person I once was, from a place and the people I may never see again. I put the necklace in a small pocket of my bag, Grab the water container, and walk outside. Being sure to leave the backpack behind.