Just You and Me and the Stars

Stars are kinda our thing. Well, his really, but I gaze nonetheless. You wouldn’t think it by looking at him. In our small southern town, he is the quarterback and Homecoming King who says “ma’am” with a long drawl. His affinity for the universe beyond ours or his “nerdiness” as he calls it, is a secret only I know.

His daddy is the town’s Preacher. He doesn’t take much after him, except they share the same eyes: molasses brown with specks of golden amber. His mama is as sweet as a peach and always sends her famous pies to my house, a few acres away from his, down the dusty dirt road.

It’s slow over this way, in the back crevices of South Carolina. I would be bored as the dickens if it wasn’t for him and the stars. I found the old barn first. I’m keen on walking, especially in the opposite direction of my daddy. Mama says he’s a good man but he gets a kick outta pickin’ on me and I hate it! He’s the Sheriff and always says he should get out his hand cuffs because I’ve got arrested development.

I had to look up what that meant and ran to tell mama that daddy thinks I’m an idiot. He’s a hard man and likes things how he likes them. Boys play with dirt and girls play with dolls and “it’s no good that you run into those woods for hours on end and come back with a stray cat! When you ‘gon learn how to be a lady, Amalee? Ain’t no one ‘gon marry you!”

Oh, I’ll raise my voice alright and say back, matter-of-factly, “I ain’t never gonna marry no boy!” Daddy gets red in the face and goes for his belt. He tries to chase after me, but he’s got a bum leg so I run as deep as the woods go. It was one of those days when my hair was wild and tears stained my face that I ran right to the old barn. The thicket around it was dense. I don’t think I would’ve seen it, except the sun made something shine that caught my eye.

John said I was crazy to go in alone. “Don’t you know that a pretty girl like you could get kidnapped or worse!”

“Well, I’ll be John Cameron! You think I’m pretty!” I retorted. His cheeks blushed. I giggled at the ease it took me to rile him.

The barn was dilapidated, the wood a dull grey. You had to let your eyes adjust to the darkness when you first stepped in. The old rusted tractor was the first thing to emerge, then a discarded hoe that was missing half the handle. The rest of the barn was overtaken by the woods. There was a loft that jutted out to the middle, making it impossible for us to see what was up there. We found a wooden ladder tucked on its side buried in the weeds. John propped it up and a few rungs were missing. He looked at me in defeat, but I pushed him aside and started climbing.

“Amalee! I swear, girl. Be careful! I don’t want your daddy after me!” He hollered up.

“Oh shush, John Cameron!” I said as I stepped onto the landing. There was a big hole in the slanted roof where a branch had fallen through. The rest of the tree’s branches peaked through creating a curtain of leaves. A glimmer of white moved deep within the tree and I stepped closer. I moved the leaves back and saw before me the wide eyes of a small white barn owl.

"Hey, little guy," I said. The owl cocked his head at me curiously.

“Are you alright? What’s up there?” John asked.

“Come see for yourself, chicken!” I teased, turning my head towards John. When I looked back, the owl was gone.

I was clearing the floor of fallen branches when he made his way up. I looked his way for a reaction, but he was silent. He slowly walked towards the roof’s hole and pulled the leaves out of the way. He stood there for a while, just looking. I watched him and smiled.

“Amalee!” he exclaimed, “You know what?” I gave him an annoyed look until he continued. He chuckled. “We can see Halley’s Comet from here.”

“What in the world is that?” I asked.

“Do you even pay attention in science class? It’s a comet that flies by earth every 75 years. I’m seeing that thing and you’re coming!”

We snuck out every night after that and made that barn our secret observatory. I brought blankets and snacks because I’m practical. All John brought was binoculars, some old star map and the telescope his father got him to see God.

We laid under the stars every night eating Goldfish. John taught me how to find the little dipper once you find the big. He told me the legend of the great hunter Orion and he let me look at my horoscope in his fancy telescope.

“You see that point at the top? That’s Hamal, the brightest star in Aries, said to be the horn of the ram. Just like the horns you used to have on your pretty little head before your daddy cut ‘em off!

“Oh, shut your mouth, John Cameron!”

“What? You were just a baby. You wouldn’t remember, but my daddy told me that yours asked him to bless you because you were born with devil horns and that’s a fact.”

“You think you’re so smart, don’t you?” I pressed, “If I had horns cut out, where’s my scars? Seems to me I got a full head of gorgeous hair on a smooth, uncut skull!”

At that, he grabbed for my hair. I popped him hard on the hand and we wrestled like we used to when we were younger. I screamed for him to stop like I was in pain but I was lying. I tackled him on the ground, held his torso with my legs and his arms back above his head.

“I reckon I got you now, John!” I smirked, happy to win.

“What you ‘gon do, Amalee? Kiss me?” he said.

A new feeling came over me like lightening bugs flying around my stomach. I didn’t know what to say so just muttered, “You wish.” Then let him go and sat beside him, embarrassed.

He looked at me real serious and said, “Amalee, what if I did want to kiss you?”

I jumped to my feet and climbed down the ladder fast. “You’d have to catch me first,” I said as I ran back home. I could see the faint light of my house in the distance when I stopped to catch my breath. I looked behind me, half expecting to see John and was disappointed when he wasn’t there. I walked the rest of the way slowly, not sure what I was waiting for. I opened the squeaky screen door carefully like I always do, but was more worried about my mama hearing my loud beating heart. I laid in bed, but couldn’t sleep. I stared at the ceiling, but all I could see were John’s lips.

The next day, I couldn’t wait for night to come so I could sneak out and see John, but when I arrived at our barn, he wasn’t there. Halley’s comet was due in five days and I couldn’t understand why he didn’t show. I retraced it all in my head. Yes, there was the incident about the kiss, but it was just John! Surely, he knew this was all a joke.

John didn’t show the next few nights. I felt sad and angry and all these other emotions that I didn’t know their name. Those pesky stomach lightening bugs were back as I walked into the barn on the night Halley’s comet was to appear. I heard scurrying up above and stepped forward quiet as a church mouse.

“I can hear you, Amalee,” John said.

“Well, damn. I was trying to scare you!” I exclaimed, when really, I was the scared one.

John peeped his head over the landing. His brown curls bordered his goofy grin. “Come look at this fort I made us!” he said.

I climbed up quick and jumped in the fort. It was fluffy and magical and there was even pie. I went in for a cheeky pinch and John swatted my hand away. I looked at him hurt, but ready to fight.

“Amalee. Stop,” he said. “Aren’t you even gonna ask where I’ve been?”

“I dunno,” I said, “Boys are moody.” I giggled and poked at the ticklish spot under his armpit.

He giggled too then got serious again. “Girl- I’m trying to tell you something.” He reached in his pocket and pulled out a handful of wilted yellow marigold flowers. “I picked these for you to say I’m sorry…for…well, for making it weird, I guess.”

I smiled and accepted the flowers, grazing his hand with mine. My skin felt ice cold and I was lightly shaking. John noticed and opened his blanket to share with me. He had me tucked under his arm with my forehead at his collarbone. I leaned my head up and gently kissed him on the cheek. He cheesed so hard his dimple appeared and I kissed him there too.

“Amalee, you’re making me blush,” he grinned.

“Do you still wanna kiss me?” I asked.

He cupped my cheeks in his hands and guided me to him. He looked at me with golden summer eyes. He kissed my forehead, my cheek, my nose. His lips hesitated a pucker away from mine and then, John kissed me for real and I kissed him back. It was slow and sweet like a peach pie cooling in the window.

We laid beside each other. He gripped my hair between his fingers and kissed me again. He pulled me into his arms tight and we laid like this in our blanket fort in an old abandoned barn under a hole in the roof with only the sky above us. The night was cloudless. The moon was bright. The stars winked at us and the comet waved with a tail that started white and turned every hue of blue. We were silent. John held me tighter still and kissed the top of my head.

“John, what do you think is up there?” I asked.

He took a deep breath. “I don’t think anyone on this earth knows the answer to that. I did read a book that said there are a billion other universes out there just like ours and called all of them together the cosmos.”

“Do you think that there are other people just like us out there in an old broken-down barn looking up at the sky?” I asked.

“Maybe,” he said.

“I wonder what they are like. Does God hear all those prayers, you think?” I asked.

“I…I dunno. It seems to me that all religions tell stories to explain something greater than us that we don’t understand. I don’t see God as a man in the sky,” he explained, “and don’t you dare tell my daddy this, but I think it’s more like an energy that connects everything- us to the plants, animals, moon, stars. We can’t touch it or see it, but I can feel it and I wonder if way out there, someone else can too. I hope so.”

“I like that,” I said. “My lips are sealed as long as you don’t tell your preacher daddy that I prayed to Buddha yesterday, Allah the day before that and Athena before that.”

John laughed. “What do you pray for?”

“I pray for you and everyone I know- even mean ole daddy,” I laughed. “I ask whoever is listening to let everyone everywhere be safe and happy. I ask them to help me be grateful and spread love to everyone I meet. Most importantly, I pray mama never hears that squeaky old screen door in the middle of the night or my ass is grass!”

“I pray for that too,” he laughed. “I want to be with you out here forever.”

“Just you and me and the stars,” I said.