Just a Glimpse

She could only spare a glimpse. She had admired him from afar since they were children as she did not leave the house much even as a child. Though this did not stop her from dreaming about what it may be like to know him. What it must be like to be the cause of that smile or that laughter. She was too reserved to venture out into the world very much or speak to people on her own so she was left to build fantasies in her head.

One day recently she caught more than a glimpse of him. As usual, she was sitting in front of the window facing the street observing people passing by. The window sill became her safe space protecting her from her mother. Ever since she came of age her mother changed from sweet supportive to criticizing her every move. Constantly telling her "a lady does not do that" "a lady must do this" " do not slouch" " you need to impress your suitors". All she wanted to do was sit by the window and observe people passing or practice her watercolors that she loved. However, her mother did not approve of such activites of course and scolded her every time she found her doing them. The upcoming social season has made a menace of her mother her only focus being getting the most advantageous match for the family. Though marriage was the furthest thing from her mind she just wanted to live a quite life in a cottage in the country away from the watchful eye of the ton. Just the thought of having to go to a ball and impress suitors in an attempt to win their affection while staying out of the scandal sheets and also impressing the other mothers of the ton made her feel ill. She is such a shy girl that any kind of social duty always made her feel ill.

She was lost in thought until she noticed him crossing the street towards her house. Her heart began to race and it was as if her feet were frozen in place she could not move to jump out of his line of sight as she normally did. Her breath caught in her throat when he looked up at her and their eyes locked. It was as if time stopped and the world faded to a blur around her as she stared into his deep cerulean eyes completely enraptured. He was a truly handsome man. There was something comforting and warm about the way he looked at her she could not determine what it was but she felt safe. Somehow as he stared into her eyes she felt like everything was going to be ok. She felt as though everything she ever worried about did not matter anymore she felt like she could conquer anything.

Then the fantasy melted away as she realized that the feeling would leave when he did. When he left she would once again feel anxious and alone in a society that she did not fit into. The hope drained from her face as she thought about how she would only ever feel this feeling when he looked at her. The sadness took over her as she looked at him knowing that she would never get to be with him that she would have to live with only glimpses of him and eventually just memories of him. She would forever be the wallflower standing on the side of the ballroom dreaming of a life far away.

Then she came to her senses and jumped out of view heart pounding. She held her breath as he came to his own senses and continued down the path. It was only a few seconds that they held each other's gaze but it felt like a lifetime. In those few seconds, she felt like she could finally breathe without the weight of duty crushing her. In a mere moment, he changed her world. She felt in her heart that he would be the only man she could ever imagine marrying even though she would never be able to.