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Janna’s Kinda Cool Journey

by Jennifer Janvier 4 months ago in Humor

Nostalgia and easy reading

Janna was pissed, she literally just signed up for this new job and she didn’t pass the background test, I emancipated that monkey she thought, answer your own phones then. She wasn’t going to tell her sister who at the budding age of 20 , has succeeded and surpassed everybody Janna graduated highschool with, combined. Tik-tok will never succeed. Janna yelled at Stacey. a couple months ago. Her sisters’ views have now surpassed even the Indian guys building a pool in the middle of the jungle. That’s something in this new world, Janna thought, she didn’t know what , but something; at least something to her sister’s bank account.

Breath in 2, 3, 4, breathe out 6,7, 8. Deep breathing encourages your parasympathetic nervous system, and that’s something, because it’s antagonistic to your sympathetic nervous system. Janna didn’t she didn’t know that information till month ago when she got one of those App Store therapist, with real store prices. But as she walked by the LED strip light hell hole of her sister’s room, she focused, focused on the breath as she yelled out, Stacey Venmo me 20 dollars please! Janna wasn’t sure what she was going to do with her life, but Janna was sure her sister would think Janna did.

“HUFFLEPUFF” Stacey screamed out. It may sound small but Janna would never be fucking Hufflepuff Janna is strong and mighty also with a small penchant for revenge so while Gryffindor seems like her house it would never, Hermoine involved herself in fights they had nothing to do with her. Ravenclaw too studious, but Slytherin that would be her house ,revenge had always been Janna’s calling . A notification went off on her phone from her astrology app “ don’t be afraid to be who you are”. “Who am I

Janna glanced down at her Instagram layout just random pictures, how did people do the color scheme , blocks of white border she wondered. “I took the blue pill, but was experiencing red pill undertones. #Millienial woes!’ tweet sent. Twitter was safe: no pictures , no borders, no font, just letters.

Today though her life could change Janna thought to herself, she had a very important meeting, A meeting about the estate of her uncle Theodore, he recently passed and left her , and only her in the family a gift.

Janna looked through her closet and thought, ‘Which fast fashion or thrift store blouse should I wear ? Which looks the most blousey? The I mean business?”

The pinstripes, she decided and she looked in the mirror and she realized she look like Roxie Hart but she was already five minutes past the time she was supposed to leave and her car like to overheat on hot days and today was a very hot day humid so thick you could wait through it, thanks greenhouse gases she thought as she peeled out her parents house in a 2002 Honda , she had it through college also, ‘Maybe Uncle Ted left me a car!’ she yelled in the rear view mirror, not even glancing at the road behind her.

Janice sat at the table as a lawyer went through name after name, bequeathing different properties and different establishments to different people, Janna was stunned she didn’t realize Theodore had all this money. She knew he had a wife but unfortunately did not work out, and she took everything, how did he rebuild. She thought of her uncle’s life as the lawyer rattled on, the only constant in Theodore’s life was his best friend William. Bill and Ted were the highlight of Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, and they always were both most fond of Janna even from when she was little, so when her uncle Theodore died, months after Bill, she knew it was of a broken heart, Sex in the city taught us the real love stories are between friends.

Janna finally heard her name being called and she perked up, the Rome estate was given, the house in Paris too, and the condo in San Diego, but the way her uncle loved her she knew she was getting something big, Janna listened with perfect posture as she heard “ my most prized possession , my telephone booth to the light of the future and past Janna”. Janna sat and conveyed a face of gratitude , while angrily cursing inside , she was hoping for a way to pay for an “Eat, Prey, Love trip to a foreign country where she could eat the food, prey on the men , and love that she had money.

Jenna begrudgingly signed over ownership to herself, the estate lawyer mentioned that her uncle left 5k for the safe transportation , Janna quickly lied and said she knew of a company and called an Uberxl , took 4 pickups till she found someone who would take the 200 she bribed to help them bring it to her parents house . As they rocked it out the truck bed of the drivers F-150 the front glass cracked and Janna felt bad, her uncle did always keep this alone in the back of the house , she shuffled it in the garage with the drivers help , gave him an extra 50 on top of the 200 and walked in her room. Janna never thought of the booth again until the world shut down , a year later when her bartending gig was closed down.

Janna sat in her sisters room In the home where she grew up , her room was turned into a make shift storage , her sister really did have the better room , she styled and designed it for herself , while Janna’s room was a collection of things she found while existing in a world that she was waiting to understand. She knew one thing though she wanted her Sega Genesis , those things were selling for like 300 online , so she made her way to the garage.

The light was still out in the garage but there was still daylight left , Janna opened the garage door manually , making sure to sling the door into place so it didn’t come crashing down , and she saw it , the telephone booth . “Why did he give this to me she thought” as she walked up and a DVD wedged in a phonebook caught the ray of the downing sun , catching her eye. Janna carefully footed over her whole life now haphazardly, shoved in milk crates and grabbed it “Just watch it Janna “ was scribbled in her uncles handwriting she remembered it from the letters he’d send her when she was 8 , the only person that would be her pen pal Theodore would pretend he was in prehistoric times , or trying to kill Hitler, till he wrote “that fundamentally it is selfish to the bounds of history’ whatever that meant . Luckily she was at her parents house who still owned a DVD player and she went to put it in. The sound of the Panasonic DVD player reading the dvd was nostalgic. Uncle Theodore’s voice came crashing in “Janna, hey Dude! Not Dudette , see Uncles learning , but listen it’s going to get gnarly …for the next 30 minutes Janna listened to a man she thought was her quirky uncle descent into madness , he spoke of meeting Abe Lincoln, A love affair with Marilyn Monroe , a Hologram helping assistant he made to assist her on the journeys , a rule book , and instruction manual hidden in the phone booth so she could time travel . Janna turned off the DVD player and went to the liquor cabinet.

Janna got drunk, Janna got very drunk , you the reader are thinking right now I get it , and I know I’m supposed to be the narrator of the story and do my job , but understand Janna was wasted . Janna had one foot on the couch and one on the floor to stop the room from spinning. Janna’s eyes were sweeping the floor looking for a snack when she saw the instruction manual for her uncles booth, of course it was hand written with some awesome drawings

First rule: Be AWWesome

2nd rule : you already are ha ha

More dumb rules blah blah blah

rule 10 : Do not mess with history, you can change some things, small things, but don’t go around changing presidents, or killing Hitler( trust me)change something small if you must ! , something dumb

Bonus Rule: you can find us if need be, you have the letters.

Janna smiled while taking that last swig of vodka, she knew it was b.s. but she stepped in that phone booth and pressed some numbers , knowing nothing would happen. The door shook, then the floor started moving, all she could see was blinding light, she tried to open the door but it wouldn’t budge , she regretted she finished the vodka.

Janna’s head hit the floor when the door of the telephone booth popped open and there she was in Houston Texas , she knew because the Reliant Stadium was in front of her. She looked at the billboard on the side of the road , it was 2004, February 1st, Jana knew it. She looked at sun cresting had to be around 5am. Staff dressed in jackets were ushering in racks of garments , Janna saw a staff jacket on the floor , she picked it up after all if it was at the latest 7am that mean she had less than 14 hours to stop Justin Timberlake from ruining Janet Jackson's uphill trajectory. Bill sent her a time machine, and Janna put in 02 01 2004 for a reason. Janna won every talent show with a Janet Jackson song starting from Pleasure principle , to Rhythm nation, and Justin stopped that, and now she was going to stop him. She put on the jacket , ate a mentos out the pocket and got to work.

Humor

About the author

Jennifer Janvier

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