JACK OF DIAMONDS

I run for my life.

I’m not sure how long I’ve been away, but it seems like hours. I can't run fast enough. My lungs feel like they are burning. My adrenaline runs through my veins at a speed I never thought possible.

The bull benefits me. I run through the field following a field of grassy hills, but I can't escape.

My breathing is fast. My heart is beating so fast, it seems like it will explode at any moment. I quickly look over my shoulder. The bull is about an inch from me now. I stumble over a rock and fall. I have been trampled. I have injuries, but I am still alive when he has finished his anger. With my eyes closed, I can wrap my arms around the caterpillar, praying for this creature to move.

I need him to leave.

“Please, God,” I said. "Please make her stand."

Tears stream down my face, but I don't let the bull see them fall. My face is hidden as I recite my prayer in my head. I can hear the bull beating around me with its long pointed horns. The damage done by this one animal is hard to believe. I looked around and saw him pounding his horns on the grass with great force. Hole after hole, his power never ends.

"Stop me!" I shout. He stares at me with fiery flames. I can only see the hatred in his eyes. There is no love or compassion. I get scared and cover my face on my knees when I hear a bull wake up again. She sighs and I feel the warmth of her breath inches in my face. Then I heard the bull turn and walk away.

… ..

The door slams. I could finally lift my head from my knees. I look around my broken bedroom, everything torn. The glass from the picture frame that once sat on my dress smashed to the floor with my wood. The floor is ruined. My clothes are lying scattered and torn everywhere and the contents of my jewelry box are still scattered, scattered everywhere. The green walls, once attractive and beautiful, now have new holes. That makes 9 this week.

This is not the primary time this went on . My father has been a heavy drinker, and his days of drunkenness are increasingly frequent. I can't tell you how many times I've connected to this exact spot, wrapping my legs around my chest, head down to my knees. My heart is pounding in my chest. I breathe hard.m and feel like I have run for hours. I have seen the bull fully operational, but this is the worst attack I have ever seen. I can't tell you how many times I have prayed asking God to help me, only that the same thing happened again the next night. Will it ever end? They say you have to rob the bull by the horns and face your situation with confidence. That is much easier said than done. I do not know if I will ever be able to stand up to my father with confidence and strength.

I get up from my seat on the floor and start picking up the pieces again. I collect pieces of glass and throw them in the trash. I pick up my undamaged jewelry and put it back in my jewelry box, even though the box has lost the lid since the last time my dad threw it. It’s hard to see my clothes being treated so badly, but it’s so hard to look in my broken mirror on my dress and see a black eye form on my face. I can't believe a father would hurt his daughter like this. I don't know what the next day, week, or month will bring, but I know one thing for sure. I know that one day soon, I will be able to go and say good-bye to the bull forever, and that day may not come soon enough.