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Is 33 the New 100?

For February 2: Day 33 of the Story-a-Day Challenge

By Gerard DiLeoPublished 4 months ago 2 min read
7
"I'd like to thank the little people who made all this possible. And world peace and help people."

I just checked. As of today I have 99 subscribers. Yes, I'm about to enter triple digits. About to go centennial, earn the other big C, channel Franklin, and wax centenary.

Oh, who will it be? Who will be my 100th follower on Vocal?

For this day’s Story-a-Day Challenge… wait for it…

THIS IS MY STORY (and I’m sticking it).

I was born of pansavants and suckled by celebrity Hollywood A-list wetnurses. I was educated in the School of Soft Knocks, which explains why my soft hands.

Other facts about me follow, only one of which is not true:

  • My wife and I once double-dated with Bono (of U2) and his wife.
  • Later, Adam Clayton, U-2’s bassist, was the first man ever (and so far, the only one) to kiss me on the lips. Not my choice—didn’t see it coming.
  • I was in a Cadillac with five other people who all walked out without injury after we were broadsided by a train on some dark tracks where the warning lights failed to do what they do best. I say all walked out without injury, but that ignores my date’s subsequent dyskinetic jerks and spasms after.
  • I went out to dinner with the head of Columbia Pictures in Rome, but kept getting kicked out because I wasn’t wearing a coat and tie. Italians, right? Also, regarding lost opportunities to pitch, I had nothing.
  • I once rode in a limo with Billy Joel’s accountant to whom, had I known then, I would’ve told him, “Hey, stop embezzling from Billy!”
  • I saw a UFO over Tampa.
  • I’ve been in the eye of a hurricane.
  • I played drums for a scatalogical (not “scat”) band called the Bowel Movement, on TV, called “New Orleans Night People.”
  • I answered the phone once when Fats Domino was calling, but it wasn’t for me.
  • I was fired from my university radio station for “dead air,” which consisted of the 4-second gap between It’s Only Love and Girl on the Rubber Soul album. I told the station manager, “I hope you never quit smoking,” on the way out.

I you decide to be my 100th follower, please tell me which of the above isn’t true.

HumorMicrofiction
7

About the Creator

Gerard DiLeo

Retired, not tired. In Life Phase II: Living and writing from a decommissioned church in Hull, MA. (Phase I was New Orleans and everything that entails. Hippocampus, behave!

https://www.amazon.com/Gerard-DiLeo/e/B00JE6LL2W/

[email protected]

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Comments (4)

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  • L.C. Schäfer4 months ago

    I thought I was already subbed to you! Was it me? Was I #100? 😁

  • I'm already a happy subscriber! I think the last one isn't true.

  • Novel Allen4 months ago

    I am already a subscriber, dang it. The UFO since all the others seem more plausible. Great read this one.

  • Rachel Deeming4 months ago

    Where's the loyalty reward here? I subscribed to you ages ago! It's a swizz!

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