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Introducing Eclipsical

How to Watch The Eclipse Naked As The Day You Were Born - For Judey's 60-Second Storytelling Prompt Thingo

By Paul StewartPublished about a month ago 1 min read
15
Introducing Eclipsical
Photo by Ambitious Studio* - Rick Barrett on Unsplash

hey hey hey. Alright alright alright!

I'm a man who has a vision and for all you know, a scientician. I want to share something amazing with you.

Once upon a time, if you wanted to look at the solar eclipse, you had to make one of those annoying little cardboard viewers. They were as frustrating to put together as IKEA flatpack furniture.

Thanks to my new invention, though, you can look at the solar eclipse, with naked eyes while getting buzzed at the same time?

Introducing Eclipsical

A brand-new whisky-based spirit drink, infused with science research and special saline solution that imbues your retinas with a transparent and protective layer. According to lab testing on several of the boys in the backroom, we recorded a 69.123% increase in eye juice, all thanks to Eclipsical's proprietary formula.

Take a look at the upcoming eclipse, naked as the day you were born.

Follow the link to buy Eclipsical.

Subject to availability. Sold in cases of 20 only. Suitable only for right-handed people. There is no guarantee it will work, but you definitely will get drunk. FDA Approval has been denied for this product and all subsequent inventions.

*

Thanks for reading!

Author's Notes: So, I actually recorded this...but the audio is shocking and I didn't have my cap on. So scrap that. May come back to it, for Ms Kalchik for being such an awesome supporter and general force for good on the Vocal! Anyway this is for her prompt thingo, 60-Second Storytelling, which you can find a link to below:

Here are some other things:

ScriptSci FiSatireMicrofictionHumor
15

About the Creator

Paul Stewart

Scottish-Italian poet/writer from Glasgow.

Overflowing in English language torture and word abuse.

"Every man has a sane spot somewhere" R.L Stevenson

The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection is now available!

https://paulspoeticprints.etsy.com

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Comments (12)

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  • Dana Crandell18 days ago

    Well done, Paul, video or not. I tend to balk at recording myself.

  • Leslie Writesabout a month ago

    🤣 the ‘eye juice’ line! This was great! There were plenty of people who looked at the eclipse with their naked eyes. Google noted a trend in the search query: “why do my eyes hurt after looking at the eclipse” 👀 🤦‍♀️

  • Miss Catherineabout a month ago

    Just like that? 😂😂

  • Kendall Defoe about a month ago

    Laugh all you want. I sure someone tried to make and sell something like this... 🥃

  • Grz Colmabout a month ago

    Bahaha, trying to stifle my laughter at this in the library “According to lab testing on several of the boys in the backroom, we recorded a 69.123% increase in eye juice!” 🫤😆 More of these please. Reminds me of your eulogy (insert name here) piece!

  • Dharrsheena Raja Segarranabout a month ago

    The 69 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'll pass on this product, thanks. Hahhahahahahahaha

  • Babs Iversonabout a month ago

    Loved the humorous satire story!!! Loved it!!!💕❤️❤️

  • John Coxabout a month ago

    Brilliant, hilarious, wish I had thought of it, etc, etc, bingo for the thingo.

  • Andrea Corwin about a month ago

    Wow I could use some of that eye juice especially after the surgeries I’ve had. Yowza!! Great job and so clever.

  • Delightful! Just as well that I am on the wrong side of the world to enjoy the eclipse… because being a left hander means I am ineligible for your amazing invention!🥹🤣

  • Vicki Lawana Trusselli about a month ago

    NICE, HOWEVER, I WILL CELEBRATE THE ECLIPSE WITH A MEDITERREAN SALAD FROM ALBERTSONS. ENJOY

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