Insomnia

Mornings are peaceful. They were the only time of day that I didn't have planned for me. Maybe I wouldn't get the prescribed amount of sleep, but it seemed like a good trade.

The sensors in the dorm wouldn't activate if I moved slowly enough. My hand was resting on the pillow near my face. Not very far to move, at least. Slowly, I laid my hand down and towards my neck, I could feel the chain pulled tight already. I must have rolled over it in my sleep. One of my fingers hooked around the chain and I gave it a test tug. The line pulled on my skin and I could feel the lump of the locket under my ribs, pinned between my chest and my bed.

I could try pretending I just moved in my sleep. I might be able to hide the fact that I am awake and get the locket free in the same motion. I just wanted to look inside before my day started for me. I looked towards the window with my eyes, trying to figure out how much longer I had until the lights would activate and the sensors wouldn't matter cause the cameras would start their watch. There was a bit of grey starting to seep into the sky. I couldn't have more than 15 minutes. I had to risk it.

I planned the movement out in my head. Just run my fingers down the chain and pull it free. Then grab the blanket on the way back up to my head. That will make it look like what I was doing was grabbing the blanket. I might even be able to get it up to my face and hide my eyes. On the bottom of the next breath. 1... 2.. exhale... 3.

As soon as I moved, a hum filled my ears and heat seemed to hit my entire body. I knew it was coming but it still threatened to throw me off. I kept my motions fluid and I hoped natural looking. The locket was sitting in my palm, inches away from me face. I felt the happiness surge and threaten to give me up. The sensor heat seemed to bore into my soul, watching for the slightest hint that I was waking up too early.

Behind me, I heard the deep sigh of someone who was waking up. In an instant, the hum quieted and the heat was gone. I squeezed the heart-shaped pendent tight in my fist, hoping she wouldn't wake up. The sheets rustled and I could imagine the sensor watching and judging. And that I heard it. The soft hiss that was just audible over the hum. I could hear the movement as she started to stretch. I couldn't help the tears. The gas made the body go back to sleep, but your mind would still be awake. I hadn't been as careful when I first got to the school and had felt the gas before. Being a prisoner in your own body, paralyzed by sleep and feeling the minutes tick away like hours.

Soft thumps met my ears and I couldn't help but picture her body falling limp against her will. Her eyes open, fear evident even through a completely relaxed face. Sleep was good for you. You had to get the proper amount of it. If you couldn't, they would help you.

The sensor lingered and then seemed satisfied that she had been put to sleep. The hum stopped and I could hear crying. Small hitches in otherwise smooth breaths. She was scared. I squeezed my eyes and felt more tears. I couldn't bring myself to open the locket anymore. So I just laid there, feeling the warm metal heart not break like mine was.