If Walls Could Talk...

If walls could talk, Lynne Lining would have been in her element. Well, Lynne was in her element, barking orders. "'Cid! Move that celery over here! Zy! Why haven't you sorted that peanut butter yet? There's more coming down the chute any minute now, and we've got to get this stuff put in the right cells! Let's go!"

Zy struggled with the peanut butter. It was thick and hadn't broken down enough before being shipped below. He was afraid it would trap him, but when hope began to dim, several cousins appeared and helped him take care of the sticky substance. "Boss! What's next?" he yelled.

Before anyone could move, they all heard liquid descending the chute. "Take cover!" Lynne screamed, "or at least hang onto me!" She felt 'Cid and Zy grab onto her as white, creamy liquid filled the space around them. "Ugh, milk! Who drinks milk with celery and peanut butter?" Lynne was disgusted. "Back to work, you two. Break it down and move it along to the drain."

The work continued for another fifteen minutes, alternating between solids and liquids. Then there was a change. "Boss!" called Zy. "We've got a bubble forming over here!"

Lynne looked where Zy was working, and sure enough, a gas bubble had formed and threatened to rise. "Stop moving around down here!" she called out. "If there's any sense of movement, it could trigger a full rejection of all the work we've done! Just sit tight and see if this can be handled quietly."

They held their breath. The bubble moved to the chute and began to rise. The structure shuddered for a moment, and then there was a long, low rumble issued that shook them all. "Brrraaaappp. Oh! Excuse me!" All was quiet again for several moments. When nothing else happened, Lynne gestured for them to resume their work.

When everything was broken down and put away, Zy and 'Cid talked to Lynne. "You've seen a lot, haven't you? Tell us about the worst you've ever seen."

Lynne chuckled. "One time, when this structure was new, they gave it strained veggies, and we didn't know yet what to expect. Boy, howdy, were we in for a rough surprise! We knew nothing about slowing down when the bubbling starts here, and when it starts simultaneously on the next two floors, you're really in for it! The eruptions were shooting from both ends, I'll tell you! What a mess!" Lynne shook her head, chuckling and shuddering at the recollections. "The structure creators were losing their minds trying to clean it up. 'Nasty. Just nasty,' they kept saying. If they'd let us do our job, though, we could have kept it to just the back door emission. But no, they were so eager to be done with their input they didn't wait long enough between scoops, and the structure couldn't handle it. Plus, strained veggies shouldn't have been their choice at that stage of the structure's existence. That energy supply completely overwhelmed the system. We couldn't absorb the nutrients, so everything slid by us and shot out the back door." Lynne shook her head again. "When will they ever learn?"

"Wow, Boss, that's quite the story," said 'Cid. "What's next for us?"

"Supper, 'Cid. I overheard the structure talking about this being her after-school snack, so next is supper. The creator she talked to said something about pork chops and rice for supper. The structure likes rice but not pork chops, so we'll have to be careful when breaking those down tonight. If we don't get it right, she might complete a reversal. We haven't had one with her in a long time, and they're never pleasant."

Lynne looked over at Zy. "You and 'Cid have two or three hours. Why don't you knock off for now and see if you can get your families growing? We're going to need all the help we can get at supper. I need to see if I can rest. All her worries have been causing strain on me, and I will have holes in me soon if she doesn't calm down. That milk was a bad idea. If anything, she should have had water with her snack and then some milk of magnesia."

"Okay, Lynne," Zy said. "We'll be back with reinforcements later." He turned to 'Cid. "Buddy, we must be balanced in here tonight, or there will be trouble. Bring friends or family, but don't be rowdy, all right? You're a decent fellow, but sometimes the others get out of control."

'Cid looked offended. "What are you talking about, Zy? My associates are always under control. It's yours you need to be concerned with. Smell ya later!"

While Zy and 'Cid was getting worked up with each other, Lynne examined the cells. Some seemed completely healthy, while others appeared weak or strained. Indeed, she was concerned that 'Cid had pressed certain ones too much, and they looked ready to break. One section that ran several inches was very troubling, and she sensed there would be problems there at supper. She'd overheard the female creator talking about "teriyaki sauce," which the structure enjoyed well enough but didn't pass well through the system. Lynne didn't know what the form was stressed about, but if a resolution weren't found soon, the weakened cells would rupture, and there would be severe problems to be dealt with.

Lynne put in a quick call downstairs to see how everything was going after the fibrous snack. The word returned that all was progressing smoothly, though some concern was expressed about the milk and its effects on systems at Lynne's level. Everyone involved knew that lactose could cause problems there, and if it was trouble for Lynne, it was trouble for all. She told them that if enough water were consumed later, there'd be no issue, so it was a wait-and-see situation. No one wanted to panic, but it was not the ideal position.

Then it was time for Lynne to relax. As she stopped fretting, she sensed that it would have been better to do that sooner. The structure noticed the tension easing and felt less pained. Suddenly, the evening meal didn't seem so threatening.

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"Janet! Supper's ready!"

"Coming, Mom." Janet got up from her bed and removed her headphones. She'd dozed off after her snack, but the nap wasn't restful. When she entered the dining room, she said to her mother, "I just had the weirdest dream!"

"Oh? What was it?"

"You're not going to believe me." Janet took her place at the table and put her napkin in her lap.

"Come on, Janet. Try me."

"You're going to think I'm crazy, Mom."

"I already think you're crazy, Janet. What's to lose?" Her mother laughed at her gently as she sat down, too. "Pass me your plate, please."

"My stomach was talking," Janet mumbled.

"Don't be silly, Janet! That's not a dream. Everyone says that!"

"See? I told you--"

"No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, honey. What was your stomach saying?"

"Well, after I ate my celery with peanut butter and drank my milk...no, that's not right. While I had my snack, I heard yelling, and at first, I thought it was someone outside in the neighborhood. But it was a woman's voice calling to two men; she was the boss, and the men were 'Zy' and 'Cid.' There's no one by those names around here, right?"

Her mom shook her head. "No, I don't think so. Zy and Cid? Unusual names. Did you hear the woman's name?" She couldn't help herself; her daughter's story, however odd, was fascinating. Simultaneously, she scooped pork chops, rice, and broccoli onto her plate and Janet's.

Janet plowed on as if her mother hadn't spoken. "The boss complained that I drank milk because I'm lactose intolerant, Mom. She said I should've been drinking water. How in the world?? That's so creepy!" She paused to salt her rice and broccoli.

"There's nothing creepy about drinking more water, darling," her mother replied. "Personally, I was surprised that you chose milk this afternoon. Did it give you any issues?" She took a bite of pork chop and rice. "Mmm..this is delicious, if I may say so myself. Go on, dear, try it!"

"Just that one burp, Mom. Nothing after that. I mean, I've been stressed about my finals next week, so I'm not surprised that my stomach hurt for a while when I lay down, but the pain went away, and I fell asleep. Then I had that bizarre dream!"

"Have you been taking the milk of magnesia the doctor told you about? You ought to have some before dinner tonight. This teriyaki sauce is good, but it may upset your stomach lining, dear."

"Oh, Mom, I just want to eat and be done with it. I'm sure I'll be fine." Janet rolled her eyes, slumped in her chair and refused to move. Her mother was too weary from work to insist, so she let it go with a shrug of her shoulders.

Their topic of conversation moved to the latest gossip about Hollywood stars while Janet cut into her pork chop. She scooped up some rice on her fork, stabbed a bite of chop, dipped it all in teriyaki sauce, and popped it into her mouth. "Oh, Mom, this is delicious!" she said around a mouthful of food. She was eager for another bite, so she rushed her first one. It stuck a little on the way down, so she took a swig of water to help the swallowing process, but a few minutes later she began to doubt the wisdom of eating so quickly.

Down below, Lynne called Zy and 'Cid to the ready. "I hope you have reinforcements tonight! I just heard her say she likes the chops."

The En-Zymes and A-Cids appeared en masse. "We're ready, Boss! Are the cells ready?"

Lynne Lining, whose real last name was the overly pretentious (in her view) hyphenated Stomach-Lining, nodded. "My cell wall is ready!"

The chute began to vibrate. Mangled pork chop and rice appeared. "Get to work, boys! Whatever doesn't go here goes downstairs. They'll find a place for it! Watch the pressure you're using, 'Cid. You've been pushing too hard lately, and some of my cells have become weak. If you get too rowdy, we'll rupture, and she'll have huge problems; you got that?"

Two bites later, a gulp of water splashed around them. "That's a relief," Lynne muttered to herself. Moments later, Lynne heard more water coming. "This could be trouble." She grabbed the phone and called the downstairs line. "Are there rumblings down there? Is that why she's drinking more water?" she asked.

"Sorry, Lynne," Rec Tum sent word back up the chain of command. "It looks like we're in for a rough night."

"Oh, no. Thanks for the warning." She hung up and turned to her crew. "Something's gone wrong down below, and we may have a reversal coming. Hang on, everybody." She'd no sooner gotten the words out when bubbles began forming all around the room. "Don't move!!" she shouted above the gurgling, but Lynne knew there was no stopping what was about to happen. "Hang onto me, or you'll be swept out!" she screamed.

Zy and 'Cid corralled as many of their associates as they could and attached them to Lynne's cells as the bubbles bounced and jiggled around the room. Above the internal din, voices from the outside could be heard talking in a panic.

"You look pale, Janet. Are you okay? Are you going to be sick? Hurry to the bathroom, dear! Quick! Go, go, go!"

"I'm sorry, Mom!"

"Don't worry about that, now. Just run to the bathroom! Quickly! Open the toilet lid! I've got your hair!"

"Blech, blagh, gretch, bloaigajg, splash, splatter, bleagh, blech!" The sounds of vomiting overtook the conversation.

Down below, the gurgling bubbles became projectile spews that emptied Janet's stomach. Everything went up and out: the pork chops, teriyaki sauce, broccoli, rice, and water from moments before--none of what had been sorted into Lynne's cells stayed behind. What was hot going down was hot in the reversal. Milky half-digested celery and peanut butter mash on the second wave made their way to the top and out to the flushing repository. Ketchup and cheesy remnants of her school lunch of pizza and tater tots were sent flying out. Some of the liquid bile that Lynne, Zy, and 'Cid had labored all day to produce to make their work easier was the last to go because the more Janet watched her food reappear in the reversal, the more she retched and brought up from below.

Finally, mercifully, her mother flushed the contents away, and Janet's stomach muscles ceased their flexions. When they stopped, Lynn was able to regain her sight. To her horror, she spotted a hole in her where the cells had weakened over the previous days. "This is going to cause the structure pain," she said to no one in particular. "It will take special medicine to fix me."

Janet got up from her knees, went to the sink, and rinsed out her mouth. "I'm not a structure, Boss," she said.

"What?" her mother asked her. "What did you say?"

"The 'Boss' just called me 'a structure,' Mom. I'm telling her that's not what I am." Janet was worn out. She looked down at her stomach. "I'm a girl, not a structure. Got that, Boss?"

Down below, Lynne did a double-take. "Did she...did she just talk to me?"

She looked around and realized that Zy and 'Cid were gone. Lynne was alone. Then she heard again, "I'm waiting, Boss. You got that?"

"Yes, I got that. You're a girl. Do you know what I am?"

Lynne felt the girl suddenly sit down, and both shook violently. The one called 'Mom' sounded frantic again. "Janet! Janet! Are you okay? What's going on?"

Lynne felt the girl sigh. "The Boss talked back to me, Mom. She said she understood I'm a girl and asked if I knew 'what' she is."

"Well, do you know what she is, darling?"

"No, I don't."

"Then why not ask her?"

Janet looked down again. "Boss? What are you? Do you have a name?"

"Lynne Stomach-Lining," Lynne replied. "My name is Lynne. I'm the wall of your stomach, and I hate to tell you this, but there's a hole in me. I think it's from whatever you've been stressing about."

Janet told her mother what Lynne had said.

"Oh, Janet," her mother said as she began to laugh and cry together. "When I used to say to you, ' if walls could talk, what stories they'd tell,' this isn't quite what I meant! But I suppose we'll have to see a doctor about your ulcer now. Is this what they mean by, 'you need to listen to your body?'"