I Want to Be Like You

One more piece won’t hurt is something that I had told myself three times already. I shoved the cake in my mouth. Brown pieces falling off and landing on my shirt. It already had a ketchup stain on it from my burger earlier.

I brushed the chocolate pieces of cake off of my shirt and let them land on the floor. How could I do this again? It didn’t matter I decided. A little voice in my head told me that if I ate something else this week maybe I wouldn’t feel the need to demolish everything in the kitchen.

I went to bed that night dreaming of dancing across the stage one more time. The nutcracker music filled my head and my mind sent my body to do turns in my head.

The studio was full as usual the next morning. The girls stood around the bar gossiping about the new boy to join our class.

“Don’t you want to date him so bad.” Carol pointed at Brandon while starring me straight in the eyes. I knew she was teasing me. She was a tall blonde girl that was not only the pretties in the class, but also the best dancer.

I shrugged my shoulders. “He isn’t really my type I guess.”

She didn’t like that answer and ignored me to continue talking to the other girls that would agree with everything that she said.

When we got in line to warm up, I found Carol positioned directly behind me. She usual stood with her friends. I decided to ignore it and continue stretching.

I was starting to get into the exercises. My mind focusing solely on stretching my feet to their maximum potential. That is when I felt it. The back of my knee was kicked from behind causing me to crumble to the floor.

“Are you okay? You really need to work on your balance,” Carol told me while lifting me up off the ground. Our teacher looked with concern at the situation only to smile at Carol who appeared to be helping me.

I chose to ignore Carol and continue like nothing happened. The rest of the class went by quickly.

After class all the girls went to eat at our local juice bar. I decided against it. I claimed that I needed to go for a run. Carol nodded her head in agreement.

At first the running was an excuse, but I decided that it was what needed to happen. I ran one mile, then two, then three. I collapsed on my couch the minute I entered the door.

I ignored a call from my mom. It was shower time and then bed

The next morning it was a little harder to get up. My muscles protested the movement. I shook it off and headed towards the studio. I decided that running there would be a great morning workout.

When I entered the studio no one even looked at me. The girls were all huddled in the corner talking in hushed whispers. I was fine with that.

They only turned their heads when Brandon walked up to me. “They are taking this new girl thing seriously.”

“What new girl?” I tried to hide the shock in my tone.

“We have a new girl that is joining us today. She went to meet everyone at the juice bar yesterday. It didn’t go well.” He lowered his voice for the last sentence.

I shrugged my shoulders. “They are not the nicest people. I’m not surprised.”

He actually laughed. “You don’t let them get to you. I like that about you. Oh, here she comes.”

In walked a girl that was a couple inches shorter than me. She had her hair in a bun but the curliness of the hair caused it to look messier than the other girls. Her face was dotted with freckles. I wish I had time to sit and count each one. She even looked my way and smiled.

The moment was ruined by the crowd in the corner. They were throwing out insults towards the girl. I couldn’t even hear them all because the girls were talking over each other.

Brandon looked worriedly in my direction. I was over this. I went forward to meet her. I guided her to the bar. I wanted her in front of me, so the other ballerinas won’t be able to give her the same treatment I received the day before.

“Thank you,” she said quietly.

Class started and no more comments were made under the teacher’s watchful eye. Brandon ended up standing behind me. That put another barrier between the new girl and the others.

After class that day I ended up walking home with her. I found out her name was Ruby. She told me all about Carol and the juice bar the day before. Apparently, she was too fat to be a ballerina. I told her that she was beautiful and not to listen to the others.

The next morning it was even harder to get out of bed. I walked to the studio this time and when I walked inside Ruby was already there and being called fat. I could hear the nickname Piggy bouncing off the walls. I took her away to one of the corners close to the wall mirror.

“You are not fat.” I pointed in the mirror. “You are beautiful, and they are jealous.”

Tears leaked down her face. “I wish I could be as thin as you.”

I looked in the mirror. A part of me could see the bones sticking out. Another part saw a girl much too large to dance. “Trust me you want to be nothing like me.”