I Promise

They say the moment you jump off a bridge, you regret it immediately. Others say your life flashes before your eyes. It could be just a free fall of 5 seconds, but a life’s worth of memories flood the temporal lobe, overtaking one’s consciousness just before impact. Is it calm or paralyzing? Just a few seconds ago, I was on the bridge with the other first responders. Fear overtakes one man and sends another plummeting. I see my mother’s tears as the cold blue embraces the sedan. Did I make the right choice? What did my mother do to deserve this?

I remember my grandfather taking me out to the shed one night. My dad just left us and my mom was sobbing on the floor, her voice echoing “You promised!” I can’t remember seeing grandpa so enraged, I am not sure whether I was more scared of him or devastated at my dad leaving. He promised my mother he would be there for the good and the bad, he would love her unconditionally and be the best father he could be. It didn’t take long for him to find a mistress who gave him attention, one that was lacking the responsibilities a mother carries.

“Your better than him, you don’t ever be like that man!” my grandfather said while clenching his fist. I could see drops of blood dripping off his knuckles. “If you ever make a promise, especially to a young lady, that you absolutely keep that promise. You stick to your word young man, or you don’t come home!” He grabbed and held me tight, “He is gone, but I won’t leave you, I won’t leave your mother.”

It is said EMS is 99% boredom with 1% terror. Life is disturbed by death itself. A major collision on the Golden Gate bridge has caused immense suffering and put one car on the brink of falling. The dumb luck of a passenger in the rear seat has created just enough balance to prevent the car from tipping over. There must be twenty to thirty vehicles in the pile. Glass, carbon fiber, and various personal belongings litter the bridge. No matter how many times you have done it, it never gets easier to assure someone crippled by fear. I get it, they are facing uncertainty and require help from a stranger. “My partner and I have done this before; we are already working to resolve this. I won’t let anything happen to you; I promise.”

Fear grips the woman driver and her boyfriend in the back. First responders are setting up equipment to stabilize the car while I try to assure the couple, they will be fine. Over the radio I can hear nearby law enforcement calling for the body recovery team as the black sedan hangs on the edge. Screams fill the air. I am struggling to separate the scared screams from the desperate orders being given from various responders. Reminds me of Afghanistan.

Multiple up-armored humvees are racing into the valley where 1st brigade, 3ID has come under attack during a supporting mission of a local village. Local Taliban have been picking up attacks trying to exert control over the providence. Just up the road, US vehicles burn with smoke filling the air. Rpgs and improvised explosive devices (IEDs) were used to cripple the team. Two of the responding humvees drive past the ridge to set up walls between the injured and the enemy, rpgs are still being shot at all friendly forces. Why on earth would anyone drive their vehicle into the line of fire, who would willingly risk it all for a stranger? Because we all remember the last night before deployment.

~ There must be 30 or so of us gathered at Nick’s house, with spouses in hand. We laugh and cheer, for the good we do, the people we love, and the nation we serve. The clock ticks 9, twelve soldiers gather in a circle, with shot glasses raised, “No flags will be given, no tears will be shed, no matter the cost that must be paid, we promise everyone comes home.”

- The Warrior Ethos -

I will always place the mission first.

I will never accept defeat.

I will never quit.

I will never leave a fallen comrade.

Do we ever stop and look at the commitments made by 18-year-olds? The young men and women who raise their right hand and swear an oath to the constitution and country. More are added when they take the branch and units to heart, they embody the words they spoke into actions that change the course of a nation. They have to be one of the greatest examples of what good comes when one keeps their promise.

In a dead panic, the man jumps out of the sedan, shifting the weight towards the edge, and in an instant, sending the car over. The man kisses the pavement, shaking with tears and blood dripping down. A banshee scream fills the air clearing my mind of all other thoughts. In an instant I am hurdling myself over the edge.

As I descend towards the cold blue, my life flashes before my eyes and the tears on my mother’s cheek fill my mind. The outcome is uncertain, there is nothing preventing nature from crushing me or the driver, the next phone call that my mother receives could be from my supervisor, was it worth it?

Yes, it is worth it, it will always be worth it. We are divine creatures that are capable of doing anything with just the will to do it! Whether it’s bringing a baby boy back from Afghanistan or a mother back home to her children, it will always be worth jumping. This time, I didn’t jump for medals or accolades, or because I want to be the hero. No, I jumped because I made a commitment to you, I jumped

~ Because I promised ~