I'm An Expert in Silence (Bullying Short Story)

I stood at the threshold of the school gate. This morning, I was the first to enter the classroom. I walked to my seat. Sitting down. Pensive for a moment. Sometimes there's a sense of calm if I arrive early.

The class was quiet, without their laughter. I hated the way they joked. Because their laughter can make me voiceless, aka silent.

"Shhh... Anyway, we'll surprise you in class." Nara said quietly.

"Yes, you go first. I'll wait outside to give you the code," said Ben.

"Are we still going to surprise you?" said Pamela reassuringly.

"Of course. So, now we go first," said the two beautiful girls.

I heard their Whispers from behind the classroom window. Without having to put my ear to the wall, conversation had reached my ears. Slowly, they opened the door. I felt like running away from the class. But I seemed to be planted in my seat. They walked slowly and gave me a glance.

"Just put the bread nearby."

"But, Nara! There is..."

"So, what do I care?"

"Nara, your boyfriend is about to enter this class!"

I knew what to do. Stand up and head to a hiding place. The bathroom. I was the place to go, because it would be far away from those painful stares. As I walked down the hall, I saw Denny staring at me from afar. I knew he still cared but couldn't do anything about it.

As I looked in the mirror I said to myself,"Someone's coming... Who is it?"

"Why are you here? Still sitting in front?" Amalia asked cheerfully.

"Still. Oh yeah. Do you want to sit with me?"

"Hmm... I don't know Kay. It depends on the class leader. You know, there is a new student. The seating position might change."

"Oh I see..." I said while rinsing my hands in the sink many times.

I tried to linger in here. But what the hell, I had to face the next reality. Back to class and staring at their faces.

"Will you borrow your math homework book?"

"Just take it from my bag."

"Okay! I'll go back to class first."

"Is this a veiled bully for me. I can only be quiet and still?!" I shouted to myself.

"I want to talk to them, ask questions and find answers but... I don't know, maybe it's too late," I cursed.

I stood in front of the bathroom door. Still watching Amalia walk towards class. She's been my bestfriend since I entered this favorite school. A loyal friend. She's the only one who hasn't changed. I'm grateful that I can still talk to other people in this school without any drama.

***

"Friends, since we have a new addition (pointing at me with a ballpoint pen) can stay here and Amalia behind with Roxie. Agreed?" Chatrine said with her waist ruffled.

"I'm alone"

"Yeah, weird!" the class rep replied with a pop.

"Sound of applause" she looked at me sharply.

"I agree, so Amalia can get a vaccine against the virus," Nauren said, followed by laughter.

"You can do it, Nauren!" Shouted one of my female friends who clearly hated me.

I looked at Amalia, sadness implied but she was just as silent as me. That's right, in this class, almost all of my classmates started to show their dislike for me. Especially my female friends.

I was still silent with their laughter. I did my best to silence my mouth. Squeezing my legs together. I looked around. My goodfriend, Amalia had gone out of the class. Even my friend from junior high school who was friendly chose to avoid this gang.

Even those from other classes also looked at me with a lot of meaning. But they showed more antipathy. The boys in my class preferred to keep quiet too! I hated why men couldn't reconcile problems with women, unless it was a woman they loved.

Flashback

"Nauren, here's a power pop girls pin for you. I got this when I went to the bookstore. You really like this, don't you?"

"Wow Kay, thank you so much! Come to my house sometime. Anyway, you have to come my room. I have a collection of novels too."

"What are you guys doing. It's really fun to talk." said Nara while trying to see the round pin that Nauren had brought.

"I'll buy you one too, Kay. A pencil case with a pig on it!" Persuaded Axel who put this arm around me.

That kind of togetherness had passed when I was in the beginning of first grade. But now in second grade, that moment is just a memory. I was sad when the things I had given them one by one were found in my drawer.

These bullies made me realize something. Silence and being alone are like coins. When both sides stand in the same position, I will be stronger.

When the silent side falls, I'm not alone, there is still God. However, if the 'alone' side falls. 'Silence' is everything. Because that is my best attitude.

I'm an expert in silence. It's like I can stop everything. The pain of their words, washed away in the silence of silence.

- the end-