How to Make a Princess Laugh

Original Story: https://etc.usf.edu/lit2go/134/stories-from-around-the-world/5252/hans-who-made-the-princess-laugh/ by Peter Christen Asbjornsen of Norway

Once upon a minute, in a kingdom so far away it was around the corner, there lived a perfectly normal princess and her father, the King. The Queen lived there too but during our story she had gone to stay with her mother for a couple months because grandpapa fairy godfather was helping the tooth fairy with a set of teething quintuplets.

Now the king was a good and kind soul, wise to the ways of knights and dragons, courts and pigeons, and he loved a good kidney pie now and then, but he was notorious for his love of jesters and comedic bards. The palace was often filled with music and laughter as the king would host gatherings for his people and employ those who would entertain all of them.

The princess, Gillian, had grown up amidst all this merriment. When she was little, she had been the apple of her father’s eye. Until a magician had pulled a real apple out of the king’s crown and the King said now, she would have to be the pear of his eye, or maybe a peach since he already had a pair. It had made her giggle when she was seven.

But at the time of our story, she was twenty. She had not laughed at jesters or giggled at a joke from her father since she was sixteen. Her father was becoming distraught and distressed. That and she seemed to have no interest at all in the princes that had come to ask for her hand. She spoke with each one out in the gardens or riding horses, at picnics or on boats, but none of her suitors seemed to suit her.

Finally, one day when another suitor left dejected and her mother the Queen was not around to stop him, the King made a fateful decision. Should any suitable male make his daughter laugh, they would have her hand in marriage and become his son in law. Of course, he didn’t ask Gillian what she wanted, nor did he wait to see what his wife thought. It was a hasty decision, very unlike the kind he usually made. He normally put more thought into his official proclamations. But it was done, and the response was overwhelming.

There were jesters, investors, empty nesters and divestors. Clowns, men about towns, boys with hounds, even a French fella who made no sounds. Princes and minces, humorless folk who tried falling off fences, Pie men and spy men, even old dry men.

Comical lyricists, punny men with fashion fierceness, Acrobats with bubble vats and men with zany, crazy hats. So many males of all shapes and sizes, some with humor, some with comedic devices.

Eventually, the King took pity on his daughter and created a panel of servants. If none of the servants laughed, the suitor would be turned away at the door.

This went on for a whole month, not so long, really, unless you are the one listening to pun after pun and the same joke the fourth time that week. Everyone was exhausted and few people in the palace were laughing anymore.

That’s when the golden goose arrived. Flying down right into the palace courtyard came a goose of magnificent girth. So very large it made the cook salivate at the very thought of presenting such a fine fowl on the king’s table. Oh yes, this goose would be lovely cooked golden brown and basted with butter.

But the moment the cook touched the golden tailfeathers.

“HONK”

He was stuck. He couldn’t let go. The angry goose turned, honking at him once, pecking him twice before flapping its wings and running around the courtyard. At which point the cook shouted.

“HELP!”

The King’s valet was closest, and he heard the cry, saw the goose and the cook and his eyes popped out of his head. What lovely golden feathers! No wonder Cook was trying to catch the thing.

“I’m coming! I’ll help you catch it!” No sooner had the King’s Valet touched Cook’s elbow though, but he was stuck too.

“Oh dear, HELP!!” Now there were two men hanging on to the Goose, flapping around the courtyard of the palace.

The Princess’s handmaiden was the next to hear them and her jaw dropped open. Such a beautiful Goose. The feathers would look lovely in her highness’s hair.

“I’m coming, I’ll help!”

“No, Wait!” The king’s valet tried to warn her, but it was too late. She touched his waistcoat, and she too became stuck.

“Oh no! What is this? HELP!!! Someone help us, Please!!”

Meanwhile the Goose was getting distraught as well.

“HONK, HONK”

“HELP, HELP”

The courtyard was getting rather rowdy. The kitchen boy, the one who runs errands, saw them next. He thought they were playing a game, that fun and laughter had come back to the castle, so he grabbed onto the handmaiden on purpose, before anyone realized he was there, and then they were all running like a snake behind the goose. Until the boy realized he too was stuck.

“No, don’t grab on, go get some help, boy!” said the breathless cook, but the words were too late of course, and the cook was getting red-faced and tired.

Now the king heard the commotion and was heading that way, only to stare at them running around. The cook and his valet were too tired and out of breath to scream for help anymore, the maid doing her best to keep up and the kitchen boy doing his best to yell help for all of them.

“What is the meaning of this? Let go of that goose at once!”

And he made the mistake of reaching for the boy. That was how the king of the whole kingdom started running after a goose while attached to the shirt collar of a kitchen boy.

Now his daughter, the Princess, happened upon the courtyard, looking for her handmaid.

“HONK, HONK”

“Help…puff, puff…Help!”

The cook, the valet, the handmaid, the kitchen boy and her father, the king, were running about the courtyard attached to a huge flapping goose. She couldn’t help it, she doubled over in laughter.

And that’s when the goose finally stopped. The cook sank to the courtyard bricks, landing in the valet’s lap while the handmaid leaned against the valet as well from the other side, all of them gasping for breath. The kitchen boy tried to tug at his hand but was the first to realize they were still attached. The king just looked at his daughter and smiled because the sound of her laughter always delighted him.

The Goose bowed its head towards Princess Gillian and then slowly stood taller and taller until all the feather’s slid away into magic threads and revealed a handsome Prince. The people on the ground behind him were quite suddenly no longer stuck. “My lady, it is a delight to hear your laugh. I am Prince Odd, your grandmother’s fairy godson. She thought you might need some assistance. I will not hold you or your father to the proclamation I read in town, though as the winner of it, should anyone else attempt to claim it I shall be forced to involve the fairies. You know how serious they consider deals and bargains.”

Princess Gillian looked at Prince Odd and then at her father, now picking himself up off the ground. “Oh that saves me the trouble of running off then. I was merely waiting for Mum to return before I gave father the bad news. Would you like some tea?”

With a growing smile, Prince Odd offered his arm to Princess Gillian. "Perhaps with honey and lemon, the flying part of being a goose is exhilarating but the noises one makes are hard on the throat. Tell me, why has it been so long since you've laughed? You have a lovely one."

Princess Gillian smiled and shook her head. "I didn't feel like it."

Eventually Prince Odd and Princess Gillian did make a match of it, but it was on their own terms. Although, when it concerns matters of the heart, the genuine ability to laugh with your lover builds homes more beautiful than palaces.