HOT DOG

Now what about eating a hot dog makes you dream that you're a Jazz singing, Motorcycle riding, Mermaid? Riding side-saddled, of course, because of the whole tale issue and all. Let's see if we can figure this one out.

For example, when you're a teen, trusted by your parents, going out with friends for a night of fun. Your "drip" is fly and backpack is strapped on. As a teen dealing with peer pressure, amongst other temptations, you "forget" you don't smoke pot, for example. So you go to this enormous unchaperoned house party where the blunts and gummies are flowing. That night you choose to partake in the festivities. You spend the next three or four hours having a great time, but then the realization that you have to go home and hopefully getting past your parents sets in. You must get to your room,. Not continue making a fool of yourself as you have for the past hour and promise yourself never to do this again because of the consequences that you will face if caught.

Or how about the husbands, and wives, to be fair, who get out for the night and forget they have a whole family at home. Now we're not examining the chronic cheaters whom if he leaves the house, he's with another woman. We're talking about the great family man who doesn't go out much, but has that one rare night out, and after a few drinks, is on the dance floor with a two-hundred-pound woman twerking on his front. Again a victim of peer pressure, but at the end of the day, responsible for his own behavior. Now after some seductive moves and questionable whispers, he sobers up, goes home and prays his activities don't get back to his significant other because the consequences will be harmful to his home life, if not devastating.

Now how about that Hot Dog? You have had an issue with hot dogs for your whole life. As a child when most kids had hot dogs cut up and put on their plates as a go-to food by their parents. You found out pretty early that for some reason you could not eat hot dogs. it wasn't because of a medical condition, it's just that your mom noticed, after a few times, that anytime you ate hot dogs, you slept very uneasy ant night. You didn't seem to be in pain, just tossed and turned a lot.

As you got older, you'd see everybody else eating hot dogs. you enjoyed the smell of them as they grilled. They looked delicious with all the toppings, but your mother said that hot dogs had a bad effect on you when you ate them, so you've always stayed away from them. UNTIL NOW!

So here you are! Grown! You've gone my whole life without eating a hot dog. You've been to restaurants, cook-outs, street stands and many other venues where hot dogs were served, but you never allowed the temptation to overcome Mama's conclusion. but today you're out with friends. You've spent the day yard sales and flea market. you've made your last stop of the day at the Sunnyside Flea Market. Everyone is hungry and they have a concessions counter. They have much to offer. Not much that is healthy...but much.

If you've ever been to a flea market or similar venue, when it comes time to eat, you often close your eye to the "conditions" at the food counter. Same as when you go to a street vendor. If you think too long, you might change your mind. They had anything you would expect or could possibly want from a concessions stand. You have a choice of Pop Corn, Cotton Candy, Mickey Mouse shaped Popsicles, Bomb Pops, Soft Pretzels, French Fries and yes, Hot Dogs. watching many of the people in front of me in line, and then my own crew order Hot Dogs, somewhere in my soul I decided that today would be the day to tried a hot dog and would accept the consequences of what the hot dog might do . Afterall, they hadn't killed me in my prior consumption.

When it was my turn to order, everyone turned and looked at me as the hot dog was ordered. Faces were confused but everyone seemed to have taken the "she's grown" approach. The hot dog was ordered "with everything!" Pondering this delicacy and how to eat it was a task and thinking about Mama's decision not to feed me this was another, but curiosity was the deciding factor. A bite was taken. As you stand there waiting to for stomach pains or something more terrible, the taste of the hot with all the toppings took over. Yum! There, the whole hot dog had been eaten and nothing. Now you wonder how you've never had the courage to try this before.

Ahhhh! Your home. You've had a beautiful day "Antiquing" and you've survived the treacherous hot dog. You go to your room, take a hot bath, lay across the bed and read a book until you descend into a peaceful sleep, or so you think.

Dreams are a strange thing. Some can be good. Some can be bad. Some you remember. Some you don't. And in my case, apparently, some are hot dog induced. You toss, you turn, you see clouds, you see stars you feel like you're floating on air and you take off running because a giant hot dog with the works is chasing you down the street. Splatting condiments on anything in its way. Is this what Mama was talking about? Is this how hot dogs do you?

You're sweating as you run through the 90 degree streets. Suddenly the skies open up and you are soaked from the pouring rains. You seem to become sluggish as you move and your legs are suddenly unable to take the long strides you were taking. You fall to the ground and gawk in disbelief as your peer and your feet and see a tail and flippers. "Hey, where'd the seashell bra come from?" Although the flat abs are nice. You deduce that you've turned into a Mermaid. Now why you've turned into a Mermaid is a whole other set of question. Question that may be able to be answered by the giant hot dog chasing you. If he weren't trying to KILL you!

As you fall to the ground, the only thing you can do is flip and flop around in the puddles. The giant hot dog, with the works, is closing in on you. You look to the curb and see a brand new glitter-laced Motorcycle parked next to you. It just so happens that the huge golden key that starts the motorcycle is hanging on it. You Mermaid over to the motorcycle and jump on. Side-saddled, of course. As the hot dog stomps closer and closer, you turn the golden key and speed of down the street. The hot dog is still in pursuit but loses ground to the motorcycle.

You feel great as you escape the hot dog. The wind feels wonderful blowing through your long pink hair. It's just you and the motorcycle defying speed as you escape your pursuer. then you hear a sputter. Then another and another. It's a dream. How can you be out of gas? You are and you have to pull over. Now! You pull up in front of an old building. The neighborhood is very rundown with a lot of boarded up buildings, but one of the buildings seems out of place. It's beautiful and Architectual. It's bright and lighted and doesn't seem to belong in this area. You look back and see no sign of the of the killer hot dog so you pull pull up in front of the building. The rain has stopped, so your legs have returned. Right now you're no longer a Mermaid. You get off the motorcycle and enter the building. Jazz, old-school Jazz is lighting up the air. The sound is funky and cool.

As you walk through the corridor of this beautiful building, you stop at the doors of a ballroom where all the music is coming from. You enter the ballroom doors and you are in awe. This huge room with tapestry on the walls and enormous chandeliers hanging from the ceilings are only topped of by the huge stage before you. As you get closer to the stage, to your Suprise, the Jazz in being played by Jazz legends like Dizzy Gillespie, Myles Davis, Chet Walker and Billie Holliday.

As you move closer to the stage. you're summoned up by the greats. You climb on stage and are immediately handed a microphone. You are in shock and afraid because first of all you are in the presence of the greats of Jazz. The dead greats of Jazz. Whole other story. But the fact that they think you can sing is the cause of most of the shock and fear. Especially since you were demoted to an extra in the fifth-grade musical because. your "talents" still needed development. To your surprise, you sing a rousing rendition of "Summertime," to the delight of the greats. As the applause dies down and you look up, the giant hot dog comes through the doors. You look around, the greats have disappeared and you are prepared to run. Just as you turn to run, A giant Fat Kid grabs the giant Hot dog and downs it in two bites. Lesson of the this story. LISTEN TO YOUR MAMA.