Hopeless Romantic

“God I wish this moment would last forever…” she wept. He didn’t want to cry but that sentence broke through that barrier. Tears built up and formed out of his eyes. He let out a whimper after holding his breath in as if he was holding that emotion inside his body. He stood as strong as he could. He hugged her tighter. She ran her hands from his shoulders to his middle back. She hugged him tight around his waist. Then the release of emotion expressed itself. She grabbed him as hard and tight as she could. He let it all out.

He was crying, “I love you so much. Oh god I love her so much.” He let up on the hug and faced her. He gave her a long kiss…. She grabbed his cheeks gently. Their eyes were closed.

As her eyes closed, she started having flashes of memories flooding her brain. The first time they kissed. In the park having a picnic. The smiles at family dinners. The stir of the moment getaways. The support for one another. The spiritual connection was tremendous.

Then more tears came as they were still connected. The kiss was like a portal between two souls that were meant to be together. She started thinking of all the bad and it made her tears stream down like little rivers. She thought, oh god how I wish I could rewind time. Maybe that last fight would have never caused all this. Maybe she could have been there to prevent what happened. Got to stay positive Tiffany. It’s only five years he be out in five.

He wiped her tears. They locked eyes and she kissed him again. He hugged her while kissing and he swayed back in forth a little. He started to think positively as well. Maybe her thoughts were entering his soul, his body, his mind…. This was normal for them as they always seemed to read each other mind. They stopped kissing again.

He said, “oh I got you these flowers, the marigold.” He went to the bench and grabbed them. She was wiping her tears. Her makeup was running. He handed them to her.

As she grabbed them, more memories started to flood her mind. One thing that came to mind was when they would fight, he would come back with a marigold and say, “Babe I love you and I apologize. I am cursed to be a hopeless,' her thought was cut off by him expressing what she just thought.

He was looking at them with her and he said, “I know I always get these they are so beautiful. But you know me I’m hopeless.” She said it with him. “Romantic.” He looked at her. She said, “I know babe but remember I’m your hope ness with the dope ness. Hahaha. She tilted her head back. He was smiling holding her. She brought her head back and gave him a hard kiss and he stopped her from pushing his whole body back.

“Muah.” She let go of him and ran one hand to his forehead and one to his heart.

She said, “Hey listen to me ok.” She was looking into his eyes. She had her palm on his forehead and pointed to his heart.

She gave a gentle push with her hand on his forehead and said, “I’m not in here.” Her hand on is heart went from pointing to a palm covering his heart and she said, “I’m in here. I’m right here always and forever. I’m going to be here when you get out. I’ll be right here waiting for you. Ok. I promise.”

Five years later.

He walked out the doors. He stopped where him and Tiffany had been five years ago. He thought, the letters and phone calls helped a lot in the beginning of doing his prison time. His heart gave a sensation of hurt and anxiety from the thoughts. He wanted to call her. The last letter she said she moved on. He didn’t write back after that. He didn’t want to believe it. He wanted to see her in the living flesh. He wanted to hear her say it to him.

His good friend picked him up.

He told his friend, “Hey stop by the floral shop. I need to pick up some flowers for Tiff.”

“Bro she done moved on about a year ago.”

He gave his friend a cold stare. His friend glanced at him but seen he was serious, so he looked at him for a second maybe two but put his eye back on the road.

“Look man I’m telling you this because I don’t want you to beat the guy up and go back to prison!” His friend said while glancing at him talking.

The anxiousness took over.

“Let me use your phone bro.” He spoke.

“You going to call her?”

“She knew you was picking me up?”

“No.”

They both looked at each other. His friend then said, “Yeah she does, and to be honest she doesn’t want to hear from you.”

“Why?” Kevin asked.

His friend pulled over at a gas station. Turned the key to turn it off. He then turned to Kevin.

“She said because of the connection you two had, she doesn’t want to ruin what she built with this new guy she with.” His friend said.

“What she built?” His friend paused for a few seconds.

Kevin got mad. “What the fuck they built!?”

Kevin said, “look man, I’m not mad at you. You were doing a good thing because if I would have found out in there, I don’t know if I would be standing here with you. But hey I want to get a couple forties.

Kevin friend, “yeah but you can’t drink bro. You will get a parole violation.”

Kevin said, “look man, it only thirty days first offense, plus what do I have to look forward too? The love of my life left me with only one year to go!”

“So, let’s celebrate a new beginning!” He said fighting tears and choking up. His bro came up and gave him a hug. Nodding his head to him and praising him.

“Let’s go.” They both go into store.

Couple hours later they pull up onto a street with streetlights on. It was fall so leaves were on the street. Kevin’s friend cut the lights and Kevin grabbed his forty and took a drink.

“No bro, I’ll do it.” He twisted the cap back on. He looked at his friend. He got out of the car. Opened the back door up and grabbed the flowers. He shut the door. He grabbed some gum front his jacket.

A cute little girl answered the door with her dad behind her.

“Who is it, Mari?” Her dad said.

“Hi.” The little girl said

“Hello. Is you mom home by chance.”

She was in the living room and when she heard his voice, she couldn’t believe it. Her eyes got wide her heart started to flutter. She jumped up.

“Hi, my name is Billy, tiff boyfriend.” He put his hand out to shake Kevin’s hand.

“Kevin.” Kevin shook his hand.

“You’re looking for tiff, hey tiff someone here for you!”

"I’m coming," Tiffany said. She didn’t know how she was going to react, but she walked through the doorway to the hallway to the front door.

As she was making an entrance, Kevin grabbed his smokes and pulled one out and lit one.

Tiffany seen Kevin and emotions overcame her and she had to hug him. She had to feel him. She couldn’t fight the feeling of wanting to be in his arms. Was she selfish? Was she going to break up with her boyfriend?

“Hi! Kevin! Oh my god you’re out!” She looked at her daughter and her boyfriend.

“Mari, this is Kevin a very good friend of mine. Before me and you dad got together.” She looked at her boyfriend who was taken back realizing she never mentioned him. She then went to attempt to hug him, but he was smoking so she said, “Oh you’re smoking now,” she then looked at her daughter and said,” I’m going to step out here and talk to him. I’ll be in in a minute. Ok?” She looked at her boyfriend.

“Come on honey let mom talk to her friend.” He motioned her to come in.

“Maybe if he wants, he can stay for dinner?” Her boyfriend asked.

She was closing the door and said to her boyfriend, “I’ll ask him.”

She shut the door.

“Walk me back to the ride please.” He took another drag. As they were walking toward the car, he turned to her and gave her the flowers. She was crying wiping her tears following him when she looked up and seen his eyes. She looked back at her home with flowers in her hand. She didn’t care. She wanted to hold him. She went to wrap her arms around him. And he let her but barely hugged back.

“What?” He didn’t say anything. “What? Why you sad?”

“You couldn’t wait for me? I missed you every day. There were nights I cried for you!” He spoke.

“Your drinking!?”

“Don’t worry about that. That my problem now. There is no longer us. Only me now.”

“Kevin, look at me look at me you are a fucking hard head. That is not my real daughter. She is three years old.”

Kevin looked surprised and smiled.

“If she was would you still leave him for me?” Kevin asked.

“I don’t know Kevin. I don’t know about the if’s but one thing I do know is your home and how this was messed up. I want you. I’m yours remember. Remember what your counselor would say in our meetings?” She was in his eyes again.

“Come with me tonight. I’m going to jail for thirty days. Please. We can stay at Tim’s he got an extra bed.” Kevin said

“Man, Kevin first day out you giving me hard choices.”

“Hey that is my life Tiff. Making hard choices. You ridin or slidin?”

“What you think?” She gave him a wink.

“Where that forty at sucka?” She asked.

“Oh, what’s up Tim you fucker.” She took a drink.

“Hey, I tried to keep him away, but you know how he is.” Tim said.

“So, you guys going to be at Tim’s then?”

Kevin said, “yeah you going to drive over there and stay with me tonight.” She gave him the forty back after another drink.

She nodded her head and said, “yes I will be there, let me go deal with this.” She looked at him and again and gave him a kiss. They kissed for a few seconds.

Don’t hate me, Kevin. I fucked up please let’s get past this.”

“Be there tonight please? They looked at each other. Kevin looked at the house and said, “I know he isn’t going to be happy.” Tiffany looked at Kevin

“Ok. I’ll be there.” She walked back to the house.

Tiffany ate and told bill she had to go see one of her friends that she was having a bad time with her man. He said OK. She left the marigold flowers on the kitchen table. Billy asked if Kevin got them flowers for her. She said he did and replied, “Do you like them?”

Billy said, “Yeah they are beautiful.”

She said, “they are for cleansing the air bringing in positive energy.”

Billy wasn’t dumb he knew something was up but didn’t question it.

She left.

She pulled into Tim’s driveway with Kevin out front smoking a cigarette.

He felt confident and not so lost. He didn’t feel defeated. He felt betrayed but relieved. The flame between them might have danced away from the pit but it came back. She was laying on his chest and pulled up her shirt to show him a tattoo. It was a marigold flower with the words underneath it. Hopeless romantic.