Headlight Hue

It had been 11 months since Luna disappeared. Our circle assumed the worst and even her parents planned her funeral. I do not blame them for wanting to move on and have closure, but inside there is an unsolved burning sensation that I can't ignore. To me she is still alive. My heart races every time I recall that evening. I have replayed that night at least a 1,000 times in hopes I could think of something new. Any clue that could lead me to where she could be. I have searched her apartment, read her diary, and the police unlocked her phone; nothing. Everything was clean. Luna had no stalkers, no hidden agenda, not even an enemy. Her life seemed completely ordinary. She was a 4.0 graduate on her way to get her doctorates in neurology. She kept a busy schedule meeting with the rest of us ladies on special occasions. I was lucky, her and I would meet up to walk our dogs and go to yoga. Sometimes we would even run along the pier and eat ice cream while watching the sunset. I thought she told me everything, but I couldn't think of anything that would lead to her being abducted.

The screams from the night she vanished still echo in my head. That night Luna refused to go out and she did seem a bit nervous. However, she was always on edge due to her over-achieving nature. She once threw up after failing a basic algebra test during our first year at the University. Meanwhile, I didn't even realize I was signed up for a class and ended up failing it entirely. I feel myself swallowing my own heart and throwing it up when I think of her never returning. I don't think I could ever face that fact and I wouldn't give up on her. I love her and the others know it too. Luna is the only one who has touched the depths of my soul and entirely embraced my mind. She knew me and could help me better than I could recognize my own reflection. I would kill to see her face light up one more time as her black hair flows in the wind and her dimples show as her cheeks spread to smile. Her eyes, her beautiful grey eyes that sparkle like diamonds. It doesn't matter to me if she knows or doesn't feel the same. What matters is she is still alive and I can feel it.

I woke up screaming, again. This time Luna was shackled up in a basement as I was watching through a camera, but I couldn't get to her. I was stuck in a dark room with no where to get out. I was panicking and pounding on every inch of the room to escape. The only thing in the dark room was a small tv attached to the ceiling and I was forced to watch Luna suffer. A masked man appeared on the screen he takes a knife and engraves a strange symbol onto her stomach. Her cries and screaming as she fights for her life, the same scream I heard that night. It tears the inside of my brain and makes me want to rip out my hair. These anxiety dreams are getting the best of me. I never wanted to end up like my mother but here I am stumbling out of bed at 04:00 almost tripping over empty bottles of alcohol. As the nightmares get worse, the more I drink. If I keep it up I won't have a place to live. I'm mad at myself and I am mad at life. I need to move on with my life, but I can't. I am not strong enough and my best friend is assumed dead. Not only my best friend; the only person I have ever loved unconditionally.

I open the freezer to grab some whiskey. Might as well sink back into oblivion and try to get some sleep. I have taken comfort in the sound of the cork popping off and the lovely sound the liquid makes as I am pouring myself a stiff one. I do not hear a sound, the bottle is empty. They are all empty. I grip the bottle as hard as I can trying not to get frustrated but it is too late. I lift my arm up and throw it as hard as I can watching it shatter against the wall. This is not the person I want to be nor the place I want to be. I have to take a walk and try to clear my head. There is a 24 hour grocery store roughly 2 miles away that sells my favorite whiskey. It is close to the park Luna and I used to meet up to walk our dogs too. I haven't been there in 6 months but at 04:07 in the morning on a Tuesday night in the middle of August sounds like a great time. I know it is the intoxicated brain making these decisions and I don't even care.

It is still dark outside. Living close to the ocean it is always a bit chilly and humid. Being far away from big cities have always left me some peace. It leaves more space for nature to grow and to experience all the greenery. As much as I am trying to enjoy the outdoors and the fresh air, my body aches and my head starts to pound the closer I get to the store. I need to get some whiskey in my system soon. I start to walk a little faster as a black truck with bright green lights turn the corner and for a moment I am blinded. My heart starts to pound and I begin to sweat. I flash back to the night Luna disappeared.

It all happened too fast. We were at a hookah lounge and some men got into a huge fight. Luna was frightened and insisted we leave immediately. Our friend Daisy was wild and wanted to watch them fight. She thought it was funny. Luna went through the back exit and started walking down the alley towards her car. I was distracted by the fight myself, we don't get a lot of excitement in town. The guy almost looked as if he knew Luna but as I looked her way, she was already gone. I ran after her and saw her on the sidewalk towards the end of the street. I still remember how scared she looked as she turned around and looked at me. A black truck had pulled up two men jumped out and grabbed her. Her terrible high pitched screams as she tried to fight her way out. Who would do such a thing? She was too far away from me and I ran fast but the truck had disappeared by the time I reached the sidewalk. The one thing I remembered standing out about the truck was the green hue from the headlights.

Here I am seeing those same green lights. I have to follow that truck! Luckily it isn't driving very fast through the neighborhood. I have to be as inconspicuous as possible. It took a turn into the forest heading toward the lighthouse. At this point I am running as fast as I can and my chest is on fire. My body feels weak and my knees feel like they are going to collapse beneath me. I am surprised I haven't fainted at all. If this is the truck and if I am being lead to a place with answers about Luna then all the pain I have to endure will be worth it. The truck is long gone and I am still running. My heart is beating fast, I am sweating and everything hurts. I feel like I am going to puke, but I keep running. The sun has been up for what seems like an hour now. I have been running on pure adrenaline and hope. I cannot think about this being a dead end now. I need to find Luna! I come to a break in the road and I fall to my knees sobbing. I can't help myself, I can hardly breath. I can't stop crying. I am looking for any signs to remain hopeful. Any sign to continue. Please. I am working on catching my breath as my sight turns into a cloudy blur of tears. Off in the distance I catch a glimpse of the lighthouse.

When I left the house, I didn't bother to bring my phone. All I had cared about was grabbing a drink at the grocery store and reminiscing in the park. Judging by the positioning of the sun, I reached the lighthouse premises right before noon. I am dehydrated, I am hungry, and I feel like dying. I face a large fence with a no trespassing sign. There aren't any cars or any people. I don't think I have even seen a bird flying around. I don't see a way to get passed the fence but I have come way too far to turn back now. The fence doesn't wrap entirely around the lighthouse. It cuts off towards the front where there is nothing but a cliff and a whole lot of rocks. That will be my way in. I will climb down and then climb up. For a moment I shake my head thinking how all of my life decisions have lead me to this point. On the way down I scrape my knee and I feel blood dripping down my leg. The rocks are already slippery and now I have to worry about slipping in my own blood. My arms feel like they are going to fall off. I wish I had gone to the gym more often or done push-ups. My shoulders and biceps burn as I work my way over the cliff. I look down once. Once was enough I knew if I fell, I would not be greeted by water, but by death. Literally hanging on and climbing for dear life I finally make it to the opening. I can no longer feel my right leg and when I look down it is covered in blood. My pants are ripped, bloody and dirty. What am I doing?

I hear voices and I quickly hide behind the first tree I can get too. I don't even think about it but I am holding my breath. As the voices fade I feel fire coming up in my throat as a puke up pure acid. It is likely that I could be dying and to make matters worse, it has been rumored this lighthouse is haunted. Nobody ever comes up here. As I am scoping out the place I see a small window. Peaking inside I see it is a garage in the lower part of the light house. I notice about 3 cars and a truck. The black truck with the green lights! My heart starts pounding again and I feel a fearful yet excited based adrenaline kick in. I have no idea what I got myself into, but this is the closest I have felt to Luna in almost a year. As I continue scoping out the lighthouse from what it looks like it has been turned into some type of secret facility. On the other side of the lighthouse hidden from the street view, I see a playground and a garden. There are pregnant women with strollers and kids playing on some type of state of the arc playground system. Is this some type of breeding facility? I am disgusted, this is crazy. My head is trying to make sense of what I am seeing and it keeps spinning into a downward spiral. I feel myself grow too weak and start to fall. I am about to give up and lay down but in that moment I see someone. For a moment I am completely stunned, I cannot move. My body is frozen and I stop breathing. I want to shout at the top of my lungs but I am too shocked. Off in the distance I see a pale brittle black haired woman breast feeding a baby. As the woman looked up I recognized her gorgeous face instantly, my Luna. She's alive!