Hard choices part 5; Light distortion

“Steven!” Matt squeaks. “This is wonderful!”

Steven grins, “I got you flowers and..”

“Haribos!” Matt yells excitedly.

“Hon?”

“Yes?” Matt says with a mouth full of gummy bears. Steven laughs, covering his mouth in a blush.

“And… I’d love to… try fusion again with you, honey…” he takes Matt’s hand.

Matt grins. “Really?!”

“I picked out a song. It really makes me think of you.” Steven puts on the song, and connects it to the wireless speaker.

They start dancing and this time, they are both laughing and having a great time.

They aren’t thinking of fusion, but one minute into the song, it happens.

They fuse.

They are tall, standing at an even seven feet tall, lanky, with long arms and legs. Hair, brown and curly, long. Eyes are almond shaped, and a honey hue.

It feels shaky at first, their new form, and the one thought they both can agree to is how to start walking.

It’s hard at first, but their minds start to feel in synch.

‘Is this okay? Are you okay?’ Steven thinks, hoping Matt will understand.

‘Yeah… it’s odd… but it feels almost? Almost euphoric. I feel closer to you than I ever have…’ Matt thinks.

‘Me too…’ Steven thinks back.

“We… I am happy,” They say out loud. “What is our name?”

‘Let’s think of a new name. A name that isn’t either of our names,’ Matt suggests. ‘There’s a Hebrew name I like… Lael. It means to belong to God.’

‘Lael… I like it,’ Steven agrees.

“Let’s go… I mean, I’m going to go,” Lael says.

They aren’t wearing shoes, so they dip their toes in the water.. and then eat some gummy bears.

“This isn’t too weird?” Steven thinks, but the words spill out, and Matt thinks (says)back, “It is weird. I feel like I’m trippin’… but this is the most amazing thing I have ever experienced…”

They laugh in a slightly nervous, excited way and sit on the large blanket Steven laid out.

“Thank you… I mean… haha… I can’t thank myself, Can I?” Lael says softly.

‘Garnet says fusion is about the experience. Two wavelengths that are in perfect synch,’ Steven thinks.

‘Can we… jump high?’ Matt thinks. ‘I feel like we can jump really high…’

Lael nods, “Yes, I can… let’s do it!”

They bend their knees, and push off the ground, with sand flying high, about a foot off the beach.

“Everything is blurry… and bright… the light from the moon looks too vivid and yet….” Lael starts to say, their head dizzy from being up so high, “it’s not right. The colors are off. The light is distorted…”

‘We’re too high!’ Matt thinks in a panic.

“We’re only twenty feet up from the ocean… it’s okay…” Lael says in a calm voice. Lael’s voice is wispy, soft and androgynous sounding.

‘What was that, Steven?! Why is the sky crackling above us?’

“It’s not. It’s okay, Matt. Garnet told me this might happen.”

Lael slowly descends to the beach again.

Taking in deep breaths, and closing their eyes, they sit on the sand, hearing the soothing waves lap rhythmically against the beach.

“Do you love me? Really love me?”

“Yes.”

Are you doing this so we don’t fall apart, Steven?

“No. I wanted to do this with you, Matt.”

I want to stay like this forever…

Lael lays on the beach, and tries to sing a slow song to calm down the different beats of the couples heart rate into one normal beat. The music turns into static and strange noises.

The noises hurt their head, and they want to scream, to yell, to make the halting and frantic noises and screeching static go away. “Let’s try and relax…” Lael says softly, and gets up, finding the guitar Steven left near the flowers.

They start to play it, and sing Enya’s Only Time.

Suddenly, everything is good again.

They unfuse once the song is over.

Matt looks at Steven, and their eyes say so much.

Steven’s eyes tell Matt—something felt off.

Matt’s eyes tell Steven—-With large pupils, I loved being with you, being you, being us.

Horror isn’t always about monsters, Steven thinks as Matt takes his hand. Horror is our light being bent and damaged and broken, changed and pictured in someone else’s idea of what perfect is. And the worst part is, they don’t think they even hurt you, because they have good intentions.

Matt and Steven kiss, and hold each other tight.

“Thank you for trusting me, baby,” Matt whispers.

Steven nods, looking at the moon, wishing that he was one of those old stars deep in space, changing and reforming—-the Supernovae of a new chapter, a burning piece of the puzzle he so desperately needs to understand.