Grey Matter

Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say.

Those words began every story my mother told me before bedtime. The details often changed, the plot often missing logic, but always started with those words and always ended with the monster winning.

I looked into my betrothed’s eyes and immediately thought of those words. Of the monster who hunted unexpressed screams in space.

“It’s nice to finally meet you.” His voice was deep and soft, nothing like the adolescent voices of my brothers. “I hope I don’t disappoint,” he added when I didn’t say anything.

There was nothing to disappoint me with. I had just found out about this when Ianthe stormed into my room last night.

“Your betrothed is on his way.”

“Huh?”

“Don’t make me repeat myself,” she warned icily.

I struggled to comprehend, still thinking about the book plot I was currently reading.

Ianthe threw her hands up. I flinched. “You got engaged five weeks ago! How have you forgotten about that?”

My nose wrinkled, trying to cover my flinch. “Thought that hadn’t been finalised.”

“The finalisation is you getting married,” she snapped. “How are you this dense? Be at the throne room tomorrow at noon.”

“I thought you said he was on his way?” I needled, marvelling at my stupidity to provoke my sister’s wrath.

“He’s coming from Earth. That takes more than a mere few hours, sister,” she pushed through gritted teeth.

I returned to my book, hoping she would leave. When I continued sensing her glare, I glanced up. “Anything else?”

A vein throbbed on her forehead. “Throne room. Tomorrow at noon.”

I repeated her words until she nodded, satisfied, and stomped off.

Being dense in this family was a survival mechanism I had built from a young age. Seeing my betrothed’s face hammered home the reality of what was happening.

Betrothed. What a horrible word.

I blinked at my betrothed and replied without thinking, “Seeing as you’re my only option besides being casted out by my family, you’ll do.”

My father and sister growled in unison.

I gnawed my tongue, waiting.

His lips spread wide. “I’m glad we’re of the same mind.”

I marginally relaxed at his easy-going manner. I wondered if it was genuine.

A throat cleared. “The Maddox family welcomes you, Axel of the Ren family.” Piran, the Royal Seneschal, gestured to my father and sister. “King Bartholomew and his heir, Princess Ianthe Maddox.”

The crown glinted when my father inclined his large head, the soft lighting in the throne room not disguising his pink-mottled pale skin.

My sister smiled, showing her incisors. “Welcome to the family.”

It was only the five of us for this initial meeting. My father didn’t want the usual guards and servants around to intimidate Axel. Though, from what I could perceive, Axel was the most comfortable one here. He had travelled on his own to meet me, an unusual move to do this without family and the customary pomp.

He bowed deeply before my father and sister, who stood on a podium that raised them several inches above him. They were clad in their finest. I avoided Ianthe’s eyes that I could feel burning into my face for wearing my typical dark baggy clothes. Axel straightened. “Thank you, King Bartholomew and Princess Ianthe. You have a beautiful home.”

Piran twitched as Axel ignored him. He sidled closer to Ianthe. My skin crawled for her. I didn’t know how she endured being so close to him. Possibly due to his besotted doting on her, despite being a decade older. He made it a weekly habit to harass me for her approval.

“I hope your journey here was uneventful. I heard the ports on Earth have so far been left untouched,” my father stated, his tone conspicuously kinder than when talking with visiting suppliers and CEOs. As if anyone who worked with our family could ever escape knowing how vile he was. “Have you previously visited Maddox Castle?”

I resisted reacting to the pretentious name my father and sister used for the ginormous space station we called home.

“I’ve never left Earth before, Your Majesty,” he answered.

He was from Earth! The realisation hit me fast. If we married, then I could leave with him and visit the planet. Excitement straightened my spine.

I envisaged dumping him and travelling the planet by myself when he added, “I hope living here won’t be too much of an adjustment.”

Hang on, what?

My father’s thin lips disappeared in a grin. “We’ll do everything we can to help you adjust. Can’t afford to lose this opportunity to solidify our relationship with the top engine supplier by sending you back to Earth. Not with the situation as it is.”

Of course this was about business. I slumped, picking at a loose thread from my shirt seam. This was why I never bothered paying attention. Reality was always such a disappointment.

Back to the original plan then.

“The situation is,” Axel paused, seeming to find the right word, “strained.”

My father grunted. “Those votes damned the planet years ago.”

Axel’s eye twitched. “Foreign powers haven’t helped matters.”

My father flushed red.

“We would have benefitted from such powers during the votes,” Axel added.

Raucous laughter erupted from my father. “Here, here! For once an Earthling is making sense.”

I studied the stranger who was to become my husband, stunned by his ability to both provoke and subdue my father in less than a minute of conversation. He was a rare person to be so brazen. He looked a few years older than me and wore a dark blue suit that complimented his tawny skin. His black hair was shaved close to his skull, highlighting the sharp features of his face. Brown eyes met mine.

“Sorry?”

Ianthe sighed. “Apologies, Axel, my sister tends to daydream more often than not.”

Piran snickered.

I wrapped the thread from my shirt around my finger, pulling it tight. I hated that tone of hers. So condescending, as if she had tried her hardest to make me into a respectable lady and had not endlessly tormented me. Only now when I was of use to the family did I qualify for her kindness. Her interpretation of kindness, anyway.

Axel repeated, “What do you do for fun, Genevieve?”

“Veva,” I automatically corrected. Was he seriously asking about my hobbies? “I like to read.”

“Me too,” he said and I stared at him until he turned the conversation back to my father. He commented on whatever his supplier family specialised in, and how helpful he could be to my father and the royal family.

My so-many-great grandfather, Madoc, formed our royal family at the beginning of space travel, capitalising on the lack of one central hub for ships to stop and refuel. Essentially, he was a crazy old man with a royalty obsession and everyone was too scared to correct him once he began calling his conglomerate a kingdom. Staff, suppliers and clients followed him and now here we were, selling me off as a prized corporate space princess. So advanced.

I wondered if Axel hated his freedom being taken from him like this. He chatted easily enough with my father and sister, seemingly competent in political small talk.

The second child always got married to the second child of a top supplier family, a fact I’d blissfully ignored for the past 21 years.

I watched Axel’s facial expressions and body posture. Dread seeped into my stomach. He was completely comfortable being here. He had every intention of staying.

Just like the space monster. Hundred percent unwanted.

I thought of my mother and what her response would be in this situation. Probably to recite that damn story again. At the end, it was all she would say. She had always been sick, but it was her obsession over the space monster story that made it evident to the rest of us. Even when we were little and she demanded us to heed the story, she would get sulky, intolerably so even for a five-year-old to handle, until we listened.

Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say.

I never did understand the significance of the story to her. She died quietly one night last year and from then our evenings were our own for the first time ever.

The freedom was guiltily enjoyed by us all, even dutiful Ianthe.

“Come, Genevieve.”

“Veva,” I murmured, not bothering to raise my voice to my father. He always insisted on calling me by my full name and became cruel if I spoke out of turn too much.

I slid my feet over to them. Piran handed me a gold goblet. I checked Axel’s face when he received his and was pleasantly surprised to spot a slight frown. He didn’t like the ostentatiousness either.

Interesting.

If he wasn’t here for our wealth, what was he here for? Certainly not for love.

“We welcome Axel Ren into the royal family, by marriage of the second child, Genevieve Maddox,” my father declared and as one we sipped the thick wine.

I grasped the goblet, swallowing saliva to rid the wine residual from my tongue.

“Why don’t you show Axel the Castle, Genevieve?”

I made myself look at Ianthe’s haughty expression and exclaimed, “Great idea.”

Axel returned his goblet to Piran and I did the same. Piran mouthed, “Good girl.” I clenched my jaw.

As I passed my father, his hand whipped out and clutched my elbow. “Behave,” he whispered.

The word was a stone on my chest. His grip on my arm tightened, his fingernails digging in. I held out for a second longer than I should have, bearing the pain, showing him that I could tolerate it, until I nodded. He released me in a push and I stumbled back. My eyes cast down, I left the room and followed Axel out.

“Has he hurt you before?”

I ceased rubbing my arm and eyed Axel’s concerned face. He was so hard to read, much harder than certain members of my heinous family.

“Don’t worry, I’m unmarked,” I grinned, my cheeks stiff. “They would never scar me for fear of rejection from a supplier marriage.”

He continued staring. It was unnerving. I walked past him in the direction of my room. I wanted to hole up until Ianthe dragged me to the alter. I had no intention of being present during the marriage preparations. Getting married would have no impact on my escape plans.

“So that’s it?”

I stopped and turned. Axel hadn’t moved from his spot against the hallway wall. He seemed amused.

“You’re happy to resume life as a pawn?” he asked.

I shrugged, unwilling to reveal anything to him. “Guess so. See you at the ceremony.”

“Veva,” his soft tone halted my retreat. “What if there was another way?”

“Another way for what?” I inquired, intrigued despite myself.

“To live,” he stated.

Lucian screeched and ran by us. Hot on his heels was his twin, Micah.

“Watch it!” I shouted at my brothers.

“Sorry, Ve!” Micah shouted back, disappearing round the corner.

Ianthe exited the throne room. “Was that the twins?”

“Yes, they’re chasing each other round the damn station again.”

“Around the Castle, hm,” she oh-so-subtly reprimanded.

I rolled my eyes without thinking and my sister’s forehead vein pulsed. I grabbed Axel’s arm and dragged him down the corridor before she could berate me.

“Going to show Axel round the Castle now, bye!”

She visibly swallowed her rage. “I’ll see you both at dinner tonight. Usual time, Genevieve.”

I waved confirmation that I’d heard her and guided Axel to the family section of the station.

“Is she always so intense?” Axel asked, not hiding his curiosity as we flew down opulently carpeted hallways and passed gilded rooms.

“She was born lacking human emotion and so feeds from others’ misery to feel something other than numbness.”

Axel sputtered and I laughed.

“As I said, I like to read and often let my imagination get the better of me.” I stopped outside the family private kitchen. I stuck my head in. Gleaming steel cabinets ran along the white walls and the tiles shone as if just polished. The big stove in the corner was clean and the work table in the centre clear of food. It was one of the only places on the space station that wasn’t infested with old King Madoc’s interpretation of Baroque architecture.

And it was empty as usual. Fantastic.

“So no love lost then?”

I gestured for him to follow me in. “Nope,” I said, unbothered if he knew how I truly felt about my older sister. It wasn’t like I hid it from anyone else.

Rummaging in the fridge rewarded me with freshly picked strawberries.

“Do you have a greenhouse here?”

I nodded and shoved a strawberry in my mouth. “Yup, we grow lots of fresh fruits and veg.”

He grimaced slightly. “You really should wash them.”

“They’re sprayed before picked. And if I catch anything, then maybe we wouldn’t have to marry.” I smiled, making sure my teeth were stained red.

“If you don’t want this marriage so badly, why are you still here?”

“Easiest path to take.”

“That’s incredibly lazy.”

“It is,” I sighed, and snatched the rest of the strawberries to take to my room.

Axel followed me and only broke his silence once we arrived. “Thought we were going on a tour?”

I opened the door. “Feel free to wander. It looks pretty much the same everywhere.”

He blocked the entrance with his arm. I glowered at his face, noticing just how much taller he was than me. My heart pounded.

“What do you want?” I queried, hiding my alarm with strained irritation.

His eyes bore into mine for several seconds. All I could hear was my heartbeat. Sweat coated my hands. He inclined his head pensively, the brown of his eyes refracting amber under the hallway lighting. “I want this family.”

“Don’t you have one of your own?”

His lips tugged into a half smile. “Yes, and they’re doing all they can to make ends meet on Earth. Scrounging day and night to appease our wonderful royal family.” He leaned closer. I stiffened under his scrutiny. “Such unusual eyes.”

“Wet-nurse put the wrong eyedrops in when I was born. Turned them dark yellow,” I vaguely explained, digesting what he said. I had heard rumours of Earth’s failing economic and ecological state, but had dismissed them as hyperbolic, typical of suppliers whose ability to complain was infamous.

“I expected to marry someone like your sister. Not you.”

“Sorry to disappoint,” I remarked, my stomach dropping sharply. “Not all of us can be the perfect royal princess, fine with being sequestered most her life.”

“You want freedom, then,” he pursed his lips and dropped his arm before I could reply. “See you at dinner, Veva.”

My skin pebbled. I only entered my room once he had withdrawn from the hallway.

I kicked my boots off and placed the punnet of strawberries on my bedside table, no longer hungry. I crawled onto my bed and curled in the middle. Squeezing my eyes shut, I willed my mind to stop thinking, but it kept looping my interactions with Axel, over and over again.

I recalled his utter confidence despite being here alone. His lack of fawning over the royal family. His comments about Earth and his family.

I flipped on my back, eyes wide open.

Axel scared me.

But maybe he was my way out. He was different from my father and sister, and the other visiting suppliers I’ve met. Maybe I could befriend him and persuade him to return us both to Earth, where my family would leave me alone once I’d served my purpose of marrying.

It was certainly easier than my current plan to steal an untracked royal ship that could be flown by a complete novice, full of supplies and navigate to a planet that my family didn’t have ties to.

Dinner came round quicker than I had anticipated. Dressed in the same loose trousers and shirt as earlier, I slipped into the dining room without my family spotting me.

“You’re quite the sneaky one.”

I jumped at Axel’s voice so close to my ear. I whirled around and glared at him. “Not so close,” I hissed.

He frowned and opened his mouth. Ianthe interrupted him.

“Genevieve, where is your evening gown?”

She glittered in a dusky pink floor-length dress. I surveyed the room and spotted my twin brothers dressed in matching smart outfits talking with my father, who wore a velvet cloak over a three-piece suit. Five chandeliers shone brightly over the garish scene, complimented by the gold and purple paint on the walls in all its gaudy glory. Thankfully, lacking Piran.

“Forgot to change,” I mumbled.

She smiled prettily at Axel. “Excuse us a moment.”

“Of course,” he said, trying to catch my eye.

I stared at the floor, mentally kicking myself for not changing. Ianthe’s fingers gripped my bicep and tore me from the room.

We made it to my room in record time. She slammed the door shut behind us and crossed her arms. “Change. Now.”

I shucked off my clothes and pulled a gown from my wardrobe. It was dark green and roomy enough for me to eat.

It was snatched from my hands, Ianthe’s nails scoring the skin on my forearms. A long-sleeved, corseted red dress replaced it.

I silently put it on under her scrutinising stare, knowing that if I prolonged this, she would make my life unbearable over the next few weeks.

“Come here,” she spat.

I moved toward her and she tightened the corset so I could barely breathe. She was definitely still mad at how I dressed to meet Axel.

“No time to do your make-up.” She started finger-combing my hair, trying to get the shoulder-length waves to obey. Tears prickled my eyes, but I didn’t say a word. “Your hair is as uncooperative as you. At least you’ll be gone soon enough.”

“What do you—”

“Don’t,” she uttered coldly. “I can’t bear to hear your voice right now.”

She grabbed a metal rose from my dressing table, one of several ornaments abandoned there, and stabbed it to sit along my temple, leaving the rest down. She spun on her heels to exit without another word.

I glanced at my boots chucked beside my normal clothes and put them back on. At least floor-length gowns had one benefit.

Everyone was seated by the time we returned to the dining room, carefully positioned around the long table. The twins spoke excitedly to one another, safely in their own world again, opposite my father at the head of the table. My father laughed at something Axel said. The jarring sound abruptly tapered into a grunt when he saw me.

“Genevieve, sit down.”

I slid into the seat next to Axel.

“You look lovely,” he began.

Ianthe, who sat beside my father, smirked. “You often have to prod my dear sister into doing things she would otherwise forget to do.”

My hands clenched fistfuls of my dress, my face not revealing the impact of her comment.

My father boomed, “Let us eat!”

The first course was cold soup. My stomach roiled and I was grateful the dress suppressed my appetite. My father wasn’t a patient man and always had his meals served cold or lukewarm. One of the many reasons I’d stopped eating with the family.

He slurped loudly and my toes curled. The embarrassment surprised me. Seemed I cared enough to make a good impression on Axel.

Slurping turned to choking and my father faceplanted the soup. Green liquid sprayed over the table. I met my sister’s black eyes. Her mouth gaped and soup trickled down her chin. No sound came and then she collapsed also. I stared at her prone body. I stared at my father’s.

Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say.

“What just happened?” I asked slowly.

The twins! I spun to see them safely eating bread rolls.

“Is father okay?” Lucian asked, bread flying out of his mouth.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” I snapped and immediately quietened, shaking my head. I stood to check on them. “Are you both okay?”

They nodded, Lucian clueless to what had happened. Micah cast worried eyes onto mine. I smiled, channelling happy thoughts. “Why don’t you take the bread rolls back to your room for now?”

Lucian whooped at the chance to escape the formal dining room. I encouraged Micah to follow. The bread rolls seemed safe to eat. They hadn’t touched the soup, just as me and Axel hadn’t.

“Nicely handled.”

Axel lounged on his chair, as relaxed as I’ve ever seen him.

“Was this your doing?” I pointed at my father and sister, and realised I hadn’t checked if they were actually dead.

“Don’t bother, they’re gone,” Axel said when I moved toward them.

I paused, unsure how to feel.

“You’re free now.”

“Free?”

His eyes met mine and my brain scrambled to understand the situation. Truth, like a punch in the gut, tore a gasp from me. I was now Queen.

“I was going to wait until after the marriage, but I caught wind of your father’s plans to ship us back to Earth during our engagement period. I slipped into the kitchens to have a word with the head chef prior to coming here. The soup was already prepped, as if waiting for me,” he chuckled.

I struggled to think, my thoughts whirring so fast to grasp what to do next. The King was dead. And his heir too. My father and sister. Gone. I breathed deeply for what felt like the first time and guilt slapped me.

“What have you done?” I croaked.

Axel slowly smiled. “What I came here to do.”

“The Royal Advisers will lock you away for murder.”

“They won’t. You’ll tell them it was the chef.”

“Why would I do that? I’d be condemning an innocent woman.”

He shrugged. “Condemn the chef or your brothers. Your choice.”

Steel laced my spine. I marched in front of him. “If you harm either of my brothers, I’ll castrate you with the bluntest knife I can find.”

His grin was real and wicked this time. “That’s the difference between you and them,” he jerked his head at my father and sister. “You don’t hesitate to get your hands dirty.”

I growled. “What do you want?”

“I told you. I want this family.” He licked his lips. “Dead.”

I balled my hands. “If you—”

“Yes, yes,” he waved off my threat. “You’ll cut off my balls with a butter knife if I hurt your brothers.” He stood suddenly, looming over me. I refused to step back and curled my lip at him. “I want the Maddox family out of power, their kingdom to be ruled by fresh blood.”

I frowned. “You want to rule as King?”

“Yes, with you as my Queen.” At my inquisitive look, he added, “I need you to legitimise my rule. I only require you here for the first year or so, then you and your brothers can escape to whatever planet you have your eye on. Is that acceptable?”

Ideas began to form. “And you won’t harm them?”

“If you comply, no.”

I paused. “If I don’t?”

“I have fail-safes to ensure you stay close.”

“That sounds ominous.”

He huffed, his breath tickling my face. “I like you in red.”

He clearly wasn’t going to tell me the fail-safes. Feeling backed into a corner, I wiped clammy palms on my dress and offered my hand. He slid his into mine, large and callused. I ignored the corpses of my father and sister in my peripheral and the imminent betrayal of the chef I’d known since I was a child. “I accept.”