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Goldilicks

L.C. Schäfer's Fucked Up Fairytales Challenge

By Kendall Defoe Published about a month ago Updated about a month ago 2 min read
9
Goldilicks
Photo by Ivan Lapyrin on Unsplash

Link to the challenge:

Note: Well, you all know the story. A girl ends up in a house trying out the food, furniture and like while bears discover that their property has been tampered with. I just discovered a new way into this one that may suit the purposes of the challenge.

Ha, ha.

-K.D.

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It was a long day, and I really did not think much of the door being open when we got home. I thought that one of my idiot relatives was over, hogging the food and booze as usual. But I could see that there was no noise coming from the house (no TV, no family), and that there were a lot of clues around of a break-in.

First, in the kitchen: we saw the bowls of food that were eaten. I’d left some porridge out there and was hoping to have some when we got back, but that was a joke. Two of the other bowls were touched (you could tell). I could tell that whoever went to town on the food in mine was happy. Guess I had the right mix…

Then, there were the clothes. Seriously, no one talks about this (they think we care about the chairs). The slippers and housecoat were gone, so I knew that whoever broke in was not really a thief. Maybe my neighbour who never takes out his trash until the last minute because he thinks that I’m going to go through it. Hey, we’re bears, not animals. I really did think that was the case…

And then I heard her...upstairs.

Seriously, the chick was a real freak. I mean, she was in my bed and was just grinding away on herself like it was the last night before Lent. And me and my brothers were wondering if she would even notice us while she was enjoying herself with the Magic Wand (wondered why my ex left it behind). So, I had to say something…

“Um, honey, you done yet?”

She looked at us and didn't even blink.

“Not yet...it’s just the right size!”

Say what you want about us, but if you came home and found a blond in your bed getting off after your long night of work, you would have done the same thing. A whole week with her and we just had to wonder if there was some sort of freaky star sign on our side. We needed more than porridge when she was gone.

And we never even got her name.

(366 Words)

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About the Creator

Kendall Defoe

Teacher, reader, writer, dreamer... I am a college instructor who cannot stop letting his thoughts end up on the page.

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Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  2. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  3. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

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Comments (6)

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  • Jennifer David29 days ago

    Daaaamn love this!

  • Dharrsheena Raja Segarranabout a month ago

    Hahahahahahhahaha this is what Tina suggested I write next after my Hansel and Gretel but I didn't wanna as it would be a similar theme. I'm so happy you went with it! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • Thavien Yliasterabout a month ago

    Oh, oh oh oh, this is hilarious!

  • Mark Gagnonabout a month ago

    Kinky, Kendal. really kinky!😈😁

  • Alex H Mittelman about a month ago

    Lol this is funny! Loved the wand!

  • Babs Iversonabout a month ago

    Humorous wicked twist!!! Left some love!!!💕❤️❤️

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