Ghost Toasters

“Tonight, on Ghost Toasters we help a divorced mother of two kids with a paranormal problem. They say something is going on in the basement, Jim.”

“Well Nancy, like I never heard that one, we will be back after a word from our sponsor Tummy Yummy. Remember if you feel scummy use Tummy Yummy.”

Chas said, “Cut! Okay you two we will get the equipment together, and get ready for the interview. The family will meet in the back yard patio, they won’t go in the house.”

Nancy said, “Chas, lets make sure tonight you don’t cut off parts of my body, keep me in frame, okay.”

“Sure Nancy,” Chas said.

“Hey,” Jim said, “Where is my soda? I left it right here. Who took my soda?”

Chas said, “No one took your soda Jim.”

“Well, it’s gone,” Jim said, “that means someone took it.”

“Come on Jim, knock off your whining. Everybody let’s go to the back yard. Ten minutes, then the segment is on, get to your places everybody. Let’s be ready this time, okay?”

Our circus moved to the back yard.

“Nancy, Jim this is Vicky and her two children Alice and John,” said Chas.

Jim fist bumped Vicky and said, “This better be good.”

Nancy the show’s medium, got a faraway look and said, “That’s strange, I can sense something, but it is neither good, nor bad. It’s waiting for us.”

Jim, the show’s sceptic, said, “Oh that’s good. I hate arriving unannounced.”

Chas said, “Okay we have our cue. In five, four, three, two, one, do it!”

Jim said, “So, Vicky, tell the Ghost Toasters just what is happening.”

Vicky said, “Jim it so bad, the voices at night, they mumble you can’t understand them, but they sound so desperate. Once it starts, they come. They do strange things like lower the temperature in the refrigerator to the lowest setting. The water coming into the house is just above freezing in the middle of the summer. It is 115 outside, and the water is icy. The water heater gets turned off. You can’t keep on the stove or the oven. They will get turned back off as soon as you look away. The big problem is the heater in the basement. It will not put out any heat. It is on all the time and it cannot be shut down. It never heats, but Jim let me tell you it puts out cold.”

Jim looked to Alice and said, “What do you think?”

Alice said, “I think it is looking for something. It has taken several things from us.”

Jim said, “Are you sure, or is it possible you just misplaced those things?”

Alice said, “I did not misplace my boyfriend’s gift, a gold heart shaped locket. It was stolen.”

Nancy said, “That’s terrible, anything else missing?”

Vicky said, “Yeah, my high school ring, a gold chain, and my grandmothers wedding ring. That’s all we noticed there could be more, I’m not sure.”

Nancy said, “Would you check your jewelry box and see if you notice anything else.”

Vicky said, “I’m not going in there. They want a human.”

Alice said, “They want a couple.”

John said, “It took my book, The Cat with a Cap, and the Dark One told me that a cat with a cap was a power symbol of one of their clans. The Dark One then said you have no idea what you are messing with.”

Chas said, “Cut. We are off line for 5 minutes. No one is to leave. Alright, let’s get this stuff in the house and set up. Go! Go! Go! Let’s be ready.”

All the wireless cameras were mounted on huge battery carriers. The two deep cycle batteries would run a camera for days. You could just place the package, point the camera and leave. They also had an electronic toy with multicolor LEDs and buzzers. They were very easy to set off. There were two Wi-Fi field strength units you could set and forget, and a voice talker. In two minutes, they set most of the equipment in good viewing positions, but not all the helpers came back.

Chas called on radio, “Pat, where are you? Pat, can you hear me? Pat, say something. Pat!”

There was no answer. Moreover, the camera pack that Pat had was not turned on yet. Pat had gone to the basement.

Chas said, “There is the Cue, we go without Pat for now. Five, Four, Three, Two, One, we are on.”

Jim and Nancy, walked in the front door, up to the first camera and Jim said, “Well I don’t know who the decorator was, but this is Modern Creepy.”

Nancy said, “I know, it is like reaching into my mind and pulling out my fear.”

Chas said, “My God, what was that on camera two? It was massive. Can you all hear anything?”

“No, not really,” Jim said.

Nancy said, “No wait, I feel it, it’s coming. In the dinning room it wants to be free.”

Jim and Nancy went to the dinning room, and in the corner was a pile of nasty cloth.

Nancy said, “It is under the cloth, it wants out, but something is exserting its will and imprisoning this poor creature. We must free it.”

Nancy yanked the cover off and in a fetal position was Pat.

Jim went to Pat’s side and said, “Pat, wake up. Pat! Pat!”

There was a small groan and Pat sat up.

“What are you two doing in my bedroom,” Pat said.

Nancy said, “We are at the Durum house, remember?”

“I was in the basement and I don’t remember,” said Pat, “I feel violated somehow, I feel dirty. OMG, I want a shower to wash it off me.”

On the front of Pat’s shirt there was a long dark mark of a huge thumb on the shirt. On the back the four fingers. Then I recognized that a really big hand had grabbed Pat’s shoulder.

Jim said, “Well what ever is going on is in the basement.”

Chas said, “Cut. We are off line. We are on overtime. Broadcasting on the website only now.”

They walked over to the door to the basement. Jim put his ear to the door. Was something moving about?

“SHHH!” Jim said, “I hear something.”

It was on the steps, slowly coming up. Jim could hear each stair creak. He moved back, and the door knob slowly turned. They watched In horror as the door slowly opened. Jim shined his light in the darkness, nothing was there. Jim stepped up to the doorway and shined his light down the steps and the darkness ate the feeble beam. The beam could not illuminate any object in the basement.

Nancy said, “It is waiting for us.”

Jim stepped through the doorway on to the stairs. They all went down into the basement. You could feel it, everywhere. It chewed on you and you felt raw. We found the camera unit on its side. Pat sat it up, turned it on, and it logged into our network.

Chas said, over the radio, “Okay, the basement camera is on line.”

Nancy said, “It is over here.”

Pat pointed the camera in the direction Nancy indicated.

We walked over to a wall.

Nancy said, “It is on the other side of this wall.”

After an hour of looking for a way through the wall.

Jim said, “There is no way through. Are you sure Nancy?”

“Yes,” said Nancy, “I don’t understand. I can feel it, it is thinking about us, what to do.”

Jim said, “I believe you. Think we should break in, and tear down a part of this wall.”

Pat said, “We must find this thing and deal with it.”

Nancy said, “We can’t do nothing. We need some sort of action.”

Jim walked over and got a sledge hammer from the tools on the wall. As he wacked at the brick, Nancy tried to understand why this made it very happy.

Jim broke through and a cloud of dust quickly filled the room. We were stunned to find a large void. Inside the large clumps of fungi. Hold it! What is this over here? A bunch of stuff, the heart shaped locket, the book the Cat in the Cap, rings, coins, gold chains, jewelry, jeweled daggers, a pile of single socks, Jim’s missing soda and hundreds of nick knacks.

When Jim reached into the objects, he got a terrific shock. No one else tried to touch them.

Nancy said, “Oh no, the fungus not only is it sentient it is telekinetic, it has been reaching out and psychically effecting the house and the people in it. I wonder if a form of this fungus is around a place that is supposed to be haunted.”

Jim said, “Telekinetic fungus is responsible for hauntings?”

Nancy said, “Yes I think so, but this superior strain was trapped in here. It has been trying to get out for decades. The spores we released them. They will spread like wildfire. What have we done? We have ruined utopia. The world will be turned into a psychic dystopia and it is our fault.”