Gentle Snow
Asaborake
Mr. Sakanoue’s eyes fluttered open on the first crow of the rooster. It is all too tempting to stay exactly where he lay on the tatami so as to preserve precisely the warmth that guarded his wintry sleep. His mind protested, getting up is a difficult thing to learn. Fortunately, Mr. Sakanoue inherited a great aptitude for learning in all subjects including getting up. His rhythmic, steamy breaths cleaved through the air. He turned onto his side and his sleeping beauty, Mrs. Sakanoue, had scarcely stirred from her wondrous dreams. “Never disturb anyone's happiness. Besides, I always appreciated her night’s work more…” He caught himself smiling. “It’s too early in the day to think about night.”
In that instant he became more aware still. It was too early to think about night, but through the shoji window, the light shone brighter than usual. Mr. Sakanoue mused, “Certainly I could’ve overslept but definitely not the roosters. The gods themselves make sure of it. Must be the mid-month moon, beaming with such graceful power even now!” He got dressed to greet the light of day by the door. But when he slid open the door, nature herself greeted Mr. Sakanoue in a glistening, pristine, soft white coat. Enchanted, he felt a unity with greater presences in the land of Yamato, as though he was Mount Yoshino in all its snowy glory. With this lingering epiphany, Mr. Sakanoue gracefully accepted his invitation, stepping out from the dream world, into the dreamy world.
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Compelling and original writing
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Comments (7)
An enchanting scene wrought with such carefully crafted phrases! You really capitalized on each of your 250 words!
This is beautifully written Jerry, and this line “His rhythmic, steamy breaths cleaved through the air.” is a fantastic image for the reader. Your description of the snow is also lovely to read, and I liked diving into another culture and place in this piece. Well done🤗
Beautiful. Very unique writing.
Awakening to snow. This was a lovely little vignette.
Congratulations on placing with this lovely piece! I so appreciate that we get to feel the connection with the characters and the snow through a warm, cultural lens. Your descriptions felt so satisfying and easy to hold - like "His rhythmic, steamy breaths cleaved through the air" - love that line! Great work!
Congratulations Jerry on your win in the Snow Micro challenge!!!
Fantastic!!! Congratulations on the runner up win!!!♥️♥️💕