Gamble

I was so over it. I was so done with her sulks and whininess. I thought I could do this on my own now.

I couldn't lose at the table! Any of the tables, for that matter. From the poker tournament to the craps tables to the blackjack tables, it was all about Me. My rolls, my witty quips, my flashing the cards and rattling the chips and scaring the big rollers into folding.

So were the eyes of all on me last night? Of course not. The men were looking at the chick on my arm, like she was something to desire. And the other chicks were sighing in envy, but not one look in MY direction, where all the attention should have been.

So yeah, I won real big, so what? All the eyes in the room should have been on me, not the eye candy on my arm!

I mean, okay, she was real pretty - for a while. When I first saw her, I was smitten. Smoking hot! Those eyes, so deep! Those legs! That hair! That's when my career finally took off, ya know? She musta saw something in me, because she slid up my side just as the dice fell. And I hadn't lost since!

I went from a grungy motel I couldn't afford to the high roller suite. She came with, moved right in like she owned the place. I mean, okay, the sex was real hot, so I didn't mind so much, she was paying her way, right?

But filet mignon gets old when you have it night after night, right? I mean, I'm a hot-blooded man, I need variety! Sure, she said something about staying true at the beginning, but I just didn't see her in the same way anymore. The legs weren't as long, and the hair just didn't do it for me in the same way. I kept looking at the crowd for some redhead or blonde to catch my eye, but they all seemed to be looking at Her.

It got real old real fast.

It didn't take her long to figure it out. Pouty lips aren't the same when they're actually pouting. So I just decided to fall asleep if she wasn't going to put out, and she started flipping through all the channels.

When I woke up she was gone. She really didn't bring a lot, a few slinky dresses and that's about it. No, she didn't do makeup. Didn't have to, her skin was perfect.

The TV was off. I turned it on out of curiosity, and it was all snow. One of those obscure local cable channels, that actually didn't have the money to stay on all night. Who knows what was playing at oh dark thirty?

And as I sat there, I remembered some of the other details of the deal she offered. And I got a sinking feeling.

I went back to the casino. Craps, poker, roulette. Tried everything. Nada. I can't win now, not for nothing. Believe me, I tried.

So I'm getting the complimentary breakfast, and checking out. I'm going - well, somewhere, I don't have a home. I'm done. I have enough to buy a house somewhere, find a nice girl, settle down. Won't even touch a one-armed bandit now. I know what'll happen.

See, I kinda knew. She kinda told me. But I didn't wanna listen. And no, I ain't saying her name out loud. I remember that part very well, don't say it, or it all falls down. I wanna keep some money from this wild ride. It'll vanish if I open my trap, and I got enough smarts to shut it. Barely.

I shoulda treated her like she deserved. It really was all about Her, but I wanted it to be about Me.

I figure she found someone interesting on the late-night channel, someone who caught her eye. Someone that had a spark that drew her. She's gone to find him, make his life special.

Hunh. Maybe I should think about that. She saw something in me, maybe? A spark? Maybe I gotta go find it.

I know, whiskey with my breakfast. Just one for the road. I don't know where I'm going, but I gotta go. I know better than to chase what's no longer here for me.

Wish me luck. Thanks for listening. And, hey, if you see her - those dark smoky eyes, the wavy brown hair down to her knees, those legs that go on forever - tell her I said thank you? Have a good one, I gotta get out of here. There's a road out there, and I gotta find a spot where I have what it takes for someone to look at me like that again.