Frosted Over

Saturday, April 22nd

She ignores the snack of letters on the hallway table. Her mother carefully sorted them, separating college-related mail from the endless myriad of bills that her parents constantly frowned at. She quickly changes out of her Staples uniform into jeans and a top with ruffled short sleeves that look like proper date attire.

She darts out of her room and past the unread mail again. She grabs her car keys and hurries back to her fifteen-year-old green car at a brisk pace. She can hear the sad melody of mourning doves coming from behind the house. Their somber voices almost sound like owls, but she’s certain it’s just the same old doves looking for water in the pond behind her house.

~

Tuesday, April 25th

Though an ordinary weekday doesn’t make for the most exciting birthday, Isabel is still happy when Abbey, Connor, and several of her other friends arrive at the bowling alley. After their first game, they disappear into the back and unveil a birthday cake. They sing for her and she blows out the candles.

“What’d you wish for?” Abbey asks with a grin.

“It’s a secret! But you know me well enough to guess.”

Isabel smiles sadly and glances at Connor as he cuts the cake. After devouring the double chocolate cake in record time, Connor gives her a small box wrapped in pink paper. Her friends joke about what might be inside since it’s the perfect size of a box from a jewelry store. She tears open the paper, opens the little silver box, and finds a silver locked sitting on the satin pillow.

“It’s beautiful. Thank you so much,” she says, running her fingers across the engravings of tree branches.

“It’s so you’ve always got something by your heart, even if we end up living pretty far apart,” he says kindly but awkwardly.

She imagines him rehearsing the embarrassing mini-monologue in front of the mirror and grins.

“I helped him pick it out,” Abbey says with a boastful nod

“Hey!” Connor says, smiling as he theatrically gave her a look. “You said you’d keep that part a secret.”

“There are no secrets between best friends,” Abbey says cheerfully

~

Saturday, April 29th

The sun slips below the tree line, but she doesn’t budge from her spot on the picnic blanket. They found a spot along the short hiking trail that had a nice area of flat dirt beside the river, but far enough from the trail to have some privacy.

“So have you picked yet?” he asks.

She fidgets and reaches for the silver locket around her neck. Connor props himself up on one arm and turns to face her.

“Belle?”

“I keep hoping you’ll decide first and make this easier for me,” she admits with a grimace.

He smiles sadly. “I keep telling you, you’ve got to decide what works best for you.”

“But I don’t want to move too far from you,” she says for the thousandth time.

“And unless a miracle happens by Monday and cash falls from the sky, I’m not even leaving this town,” he says, waving around the quiet woods.

“Won’t your parents’ change their mind about cosigning…?”

He shakes his head. “It’s not gonna happen, Belle.”

She lets out a sigh and closes her eyes to the swaying branches above them. She listens to the water rushing along and wonders if the river ever once connected to the pond behind her childhood home, or if that water’s just always been stagnant.

~

Friday, June 26th

With her parents’ help, she’s submitted all her deposits, she’s chosen her classes, and she’s even walked at graduation already. Abbey has already registered for classes at a nearby state college, but Connor hasn’t even finished all his community college paperwork yet.

She knows he isn’t happy about what the fall has in store for him, but she can’t shake the feeling that he gave up too soon.

She reaches for the locket and struggles to seal the clasp around her neck without help. The feeling of fumbling with the tiny bits of metal gives her an edge of doubt of how she’ll fare in another two months when she’s alone three states away.

~

Saturday, July 19th

She’s getting an absurdly early start to shopping for her dorm. Her mother insists it’s a good idea and that if they wait until August, all the best notebooks and mini-fridges will be sold out. She’s not quite sure she believes this, but she goes from store to store with Connor and a long list of items.

After their third stop, she’s acutely aware of how much of her minimum wage-fueled savings she’s already burned through. Connor hefts the large mini-fridge box from the shopping cart into the gaping maw of her old car’s trunk.

“Guess I’m glad I don’t have to buy so much junk to go to college,” he says dryly.

She isn’t sure why, there’s not a good, logical basis for the feeling, but his words sting.

~

Wednesday, August 5th

She bounds out of the house to greet him as soon as he pulls into the driveway. Yet the moment he opens the door of the old pickup and steps out, she can tell by the look on his face that something isn’t right.

“Hey,” she greets him with a hu

He returns the hug for just a moment before letting go. “Hey, Belle.

“My parents won’t be home for a few hours. Maybe we could put a movie on?”

He hesitates before responding. “I can’t stay very long.”

They walk around the house and perch at the mossy, weather-worn bench that her parents have near the edge of the pond. They’re silent as they sit down. Isabel feels her anxiety rising with each moment; the silence isn’t comfortable.

“There’s something I want to talk to you about,” he says.

She isn’t a fool. She’s suspected this was coming.

“I know what you’re going to say. The drive is only a few hours.”

“It’s four hours. You know we won’t be able to see each other more than once or twice a month.”

She frowns. “It’s doable on the weekends… especially if we alternate.”

“You worked too hard to get into a good school to run back here all the time.”

“I might hate it, who knows,” she says quickly.

“Still. I’d feel better about all of this if we… were clear about things. I think we should take a break.”

Her hands ball into fists. “No. Taking a break when going to college is the same as breaking up.”

“We should just see how things go for this first semester.

“Have you even registered yet?” she snaps.

“It’s community college,” he says, waving her off. “You just walk in and sign up.”

“If it’s so easy, why haven’t you done it yet?” she asks, crossing her arms to stop clenching her fists.

“Belle, this is why we need to take a break. You don’t approve of what I’m doing.”

“It isn’t a break,” she says, her hand flying to the locket. “If you don’t want to be with me anymore, why did you bother giving me this locket and giving me that hammy crap about having you close to my heart? Why string me along all summer?”

“Because I don’t want to do this,” he shoots back. “But I’m not going to see you anymore and we’re just going to crash and burn if we aren’t realistic.”

She knows she’s overreacting when she starts to pull on the chain, but she yanks it to the breaking point. The small pain of the metal snapping from the back of her neck feels like nothing in comparison to how sick she feels.

“Then I’m ending it for real. No indecisive nonsense.”

She stands up and hurls the locket into the pond before he can stop her.

~

Saturday, December 23rd

When she walks in the door of her parents’ familiar old house, it almost feels as though she’s never left. The house still looks the same, smells the same. It doesn’t seem possible that she hasn’t lived in the house for almost half a year now. Her mother ushers her into the kitchen, insisting that she needs to eat after the long drive.

She follows her mother into the kitchen and her eyes fall upon the pond in the backyard. Though it’s early in winter, the surface of the water has already frozen over. A pang of guilt washes over her. There would be no getting the locket back now, even if she wanted to.

~

Saturday, May 20th

It doesn’t seem conceivable that her entire first year of college has passed and that she hasn’t found anyone who held a candle to the quiet kindness of Connor. Though she tried to go on a few dates with guys her new roommate tried to introduce her two, she found herself seeing their true colors after a date or two and not liking what she saw.

She dips her foot into the pond and winced at how cold it was. She knows she isn’t likely to find it after nearly a year of sediment developing and mud moving around, but she at least has to try.

~

Friday, June 15th

She tells her mother she’s taking up swimming and that the pond is just big and deep enough for her to practice in. Her mother constantly frets about leeches.

She keeps looking for it. She wishes she contacted him before this, but she just can’t imagine facing him again after reacting so horribly.

~

Wednesday, July 8th

When she takes a break from swimming and resumes her routine of searching, she sees the tiniest flash. She freezes in place and dives for it. She ends up going straight into the muddy floor of the pond, but she feels metal in her first along with the slimy mud.

She springs up to her feet, sending splatters of mud everywhere.

“Yes!” she says aloud, to no one but the mourning doves. “I found it!”

~

Thursday, July 9th

The locket is tarnished now, but she washed off all the mud, cleaned out the interior, and lamented at the fate of the heart-shaped photo of them. The picture was beyond any hope of restoration.

She puts the locket on a new chain and steels herself as she drives over to his family’s home. She isn’t even sure if he’ll be home, but she’s too eager to see him. She doesn’t want to break the silence between them with anything less climactic than a grand romantic gesture.

She pulls up and sees his old pickup in the driveway. She takes a deep breath and steps out of her car. She’s wearing a simple tee-shirt and stylish jeans, eager to highlight the fact that she found the damn locket, but that she’s wearing it too.

She walks across the gravel walkway up to the door. She steps onto the first step up to the porch when the door opens. She expects his mother, father, or perhaps nosy younger sister, but there are no buffers or barriers keeping her from this moment of reunion.

It’s just him, standing there, having heard her pull up. She freezes again, as still and cold as the pond had been in December.

She’s afraid he’s going to be angry, that he’s just opening the door to slam it in her face after a few harsh words.

But then he smiles and she feels like the pond in spring. His gaze drops to the locket for a moment before rising back to her eyes, searching her face. She knows there’s so much to be said, explained, and discussed properly. But he sees the locket and it just doesn’t seem to be the moment for those logical reactions.

She scales the rest of the stairs in two big steps and throws her arms around him. This time, he returns the embrace, this time, without letting go.