From This Day Forward, Our Great Land Will Be Known as, 'Topia'

"Please stand by for a message from our newly elected Prime Minister, Adira Anpu."

"My fellow citizens. I consider it a great honor to be entrusted by you, the citizens of Conary, as your new and duly elected prime minister. This position is the most important, and indeed the most powerful, in all of government. Despite this, we have a cherished tradition of ruling peacefully and cooperatively, and I shall continue that tradition. Even so, you elected me to institute change, improvement, and progress. With my every waking breath, this is what I will do.

We have endured heartache and despair for decades now under failed administrations, ones that have claimed to have your best interest in mind. This was a lie. They were corrupt. They were interested only in power and wealth. They were not interested in you, the people of this great land. They are criminals. It is because of this I am announcing today that many of your former illegitimate and illegal so-called leaders have been imprisoned. Unfortunately, some have killed attempting to escape or harm law enforcement officers. This lawlessness will not be tolerated. Some others are on the run, fleeing like common criminals, like animals, but rest assured they will be tracked down and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Do not sympathize with them. They have irreparably harmed us, and they deserve no mercy. I will give them none.

My fellow citizens, it is my intention to bring to you an utopian society. It is said an utopia is comprised of several characteristics, including a peaceful government, equality for all citizens, access to healthcare, employment, and education, and safety. I promise each and every one of you, as your prime minister and leader, I'll demand that each of these will be the law of the land, effective immediately.

Our government will be peaceful. We will not harm any citizen. But we will apprehend outlaws and dissidents. These terms, 'outlaws' and 'dissidents,' will soon be defined, outlined, and implemented by my cabinet members and law enforcement. And these outlaws and dissidents will be arrested, prosecuted, and punished. However, we are a compassionate society, and we believe in rehabilitation. So, any outlaw who is deemed rehabilitated, once released back into the community, will permanently wear a heart-shaped locket as a reminder to them of their transgressions and a warning to others. These reforms will bring peace to our beloved land.

Second, I will strictly enforce laws, policies, and executive orders to ensure equality amongst our citizens. Everyone shall be equal, whenever and wherever possible. I therefore declare today a living salary for all. The poor shall no longer be poor. And, to ensure financial fairness, all property, wealth, and the like above this living salary shall be confiscated by the government and distributed to you, the people. My administration will determine the best and most effective manner to do so. Some of you might be upset by this, but you must pause and consider the greater good... and submit to it.

Next, all citizens will not only have access to healthcare, employment, and education, it will be mandated. Each and every one of you, regardless of circumstances, shall find employment within 90 days or face prosecution. We will secure and maintain a zero percent unemployment rate and it will be the envy of the world. Our economy will make us stronger, and other nations will not only want what we have, but fear what we have.

Each of you will also attend soon-to-be revamped educational institutions. Don't worry, though, depending on your age and circumstances, you might only need to attend twice-weekly 're-education' programs. It's a new world and we can't afford to have anyone fall behind or find themselves in the unfortunate circumstance of violating our new laws.

And healthcare. Healthcare will be free for all, although there must always be constraints. I'm therefore forming a healthcare monitoring board to ensure no unnecessary medicine is practiced. An independent, objective panel of experts, under my direct leadership, shall determine what's medically appropriate and what is wasteful. I will announce who will sit on this board in the coming days.

All of these new, wonderful mandates will need protection, which brings me to 'safety.' Safety, for you, is paramount. It is therefore decreed that all citizens will open their respective homes for governmental inspection, forthwith and without resistance. For all of us to be safe, we must all prove we are loyal and peaceful neighbors. Oh, and please let local law enforcement know if your neighbor, family, or friends are disinterested in helping us thrive. These subversives will be dealt with.

And finally, my good people, from this day forward our great land will be known as, 'Topia." It's a new beginning. Conary is an antiquated name, representing the evils of the past. We must look forward, live in the now, and erase our past wrongs.

I am proud to call myself a Topian. Join me in saluting our new Topian flag, being hoisted behind me. Join me, my great citizens. Join me in our new beginning."