From Despair to Bliss

While I was deployed, I had all sorts of brushes with death. It was only natural since war would bring death to either you or your adversaries or both. But amid all the chaos and carnage throughout those years, I met someone who changed my life forever.

I was a troubled child. My parents divorced when I was six or seven years old. Mom didn't want me, so I lived with my dad for a bit until he lost custody because he was a hardcore drug abuser. Luckily, child services didn't put me in foster care because there was still a next of kin available to take me in. I went to live with my Uncle Jimmy afterward, but he couldn't handle me. I was always angry, and, I admit, I made his life a living hell. Fast-forward a few years, and I was given the choice to either enlist in the army or go to jail. I did spend a few nights locked up before, but the prospect of being caged with a bunch of animals didn't really appeal to me. So I enlisted.

I was good at being a soldier. I did have a few issues with authority from time to time, but despite that, I ended up being shaped into a force to be reckoned with.

The last mission I ever went on was a covert op that I can't really talk about... so I hope you keep what I'm about to tell you between us. We were supposed to take out a terrorist organization that, according to our intel, was planning an attack on American soil. They were held up in some village behind God's back. Our mission failed miserably, and my entire unit was captured or killed.

I can't tell how long I spent without being able to see or speak. I was knocked out, and they placed a hood over my head while gagging me. My hands were tied behind my back so tight that I could hardly feel them after a long time. When I finally came to, I was on a dirt floor, and one of my feet was chained to something, which I later realized was a wall. Once a day or every other day someone would come with a few drops of water, just enough so I didn't die. To have that semi-drink of water wasn't all that different from being waterboarded, since they never removed the hood from over my head or the gag. I guess it was better than dying of thirst.

It must have been at least a whole day before I realized I wasn't alone in that dungeon. When I felt someone's skin rub off mine, it startled me momentarily. But that quickly turned into relief, as I understood I wasn't the only prisoner there.

Since I had my hands tied behind my back, I was still gagged, and with a hood over my head, I couldn't see or say a thing. I only assumed this other person was in the same condition as me. That assumption wasn't entirely accurate, though, as I would later discover.

'Is it another survivor from my unit?' I thought to myself. I tried making muffled sounds to call this person's attention, but I didn't hear anything in response. At that point, I was starting to question if I had actually felt someone's skin rub off against my mostly numb arm.

I'm not sure how much time passed. It could've been one day or even five. But I was finally able to see again. And yet, what I saw was not what I had expected. There was a young woman who bit the hood off my head so I could see. When I saw her, she immediately jerked back in a nervous motion. But the thing that confused me the most was the fact that she wasn't gaged.

I tried making some more sounds, hoping she would tell me something... anything... but she never spoke. She never even opened her mouth. Not even a gesture. Her hands were tied behind her back, and she was chained to the other wall, but she seemed to be in pretty good shape. However, as I looked at her bare feet, I realized they were black and bloody. All her toenails were ripped out. It's hard to say if that happened in this dungeon or another place before... the second option appeared to be the more likely one since I was never tortured upon being dumped here, except for being food-deprived and semi-waterboarded.

Despite her movements seeming jittery at first, I didn't see any anguish or despair in her eyes. She could have been in this dungeon long before I got here. Why was she so calm? And why wouldn't she say a word to me? It was then that I remembered a buddy of mine had a brother who was autistic. It was tough to communicate with him, but my buddy knew what to do and when to do it. Despite all that, there were moments when even he was stumped about what his brother was thinking.

This girl spent most days staring at the walls or the ceiling. On a few occasions, I would find her looking at me, but it didn't seem like she was avoiding eye contact. It was more like, for long periods of time, she didn't even realize I was there.

Not once did her facial expression change. She always seemed so peaceful. I, on the other hand, was beginning to lose my mind. I couldn't figure out a way to break out of that hellhole. The guy that would bring us water was coming fewer times. He didn't seem to care that my hood was off. He was probably a prisoner as well.

But above everything, I just couldn't wrap my head around the girl. How could she seem so tranquil all the time? Was she truly autistic? I wanted to understand her so bad.

One day (or night... I could never actually tell) after I had spent God knows how long passed out, as I regained consciousness, she was staring at me with a frown, a look that I understood as her being concerned. As I straightened myself up, there was a clear expression of relief on her. That was when she smiled. When I saw that smile, I can't really put it into words, but something inside me changed. It was as if I had forgotten I was alive until I saw her beautiful smile. A smile that was glad that I had survived. A smile that carried the hope that everything was going to be OK.

After such a surreal experience that in no way I expected to have while trapped in a dungeon with a stranger I couldn't talk to, I burst into tears. I just couldn't help myself. I'm not sure if it was the anger and grief of losing my unit in what seemed now like a pointless mission or if it was the strange comfort I found in that stranger's smile. I was simply moved to tears like never before. I wasn't worried at that moment. I wasn't scared or angry either. But when I looked at her again, tears were flowing from her eyes as well. But the look on her face had not changed. A gentle, beautiful, and heartwarming smile was still shining across her face, all while tears flooded her cheeks and made a microscopic pond of mud on the dirt floor.

It all made me think that, somehow, this girl could feel what I was feeling. And despite our anguishing predicament, everything was going to be alright.

Once I felt that life had somehow returned to me, she suddenly collapsed. It had been quite long since they brought us water. Her lips seemed severely dry, so I guessed she was suffering from chronic dehydration. I tried screaming even under the gag covering my mouth. I banged the floor with what strength I had left in my free leg. She was unresponsive.

More time passed by. I felt as if I was fading away. It was only a blur, but I thought I saw a group of soldiers open the barred gates to our dungeon. For the first time in I can't tell how long, I heard another human speak. "Hang in there, Parkman! We're getting you home," one of them said. I lost consciousness right after that.

When I woke up, I was in a hospital room. One of the big-shot commanders was standing in front of my bed in full uniform. I did my best to salute in my weakened state.

"At ease, soldier. You've been to hell and back. I commend you for serving your unit and this country."

"How... long...?" was the only thing I could think of. The commander replied, "It's been two weeks since we found you in that hellhole. And before that, you had been missing for eight months. Most of us assumed you died like the rest of your unit. Lieutenant Sanchez was the only one who survived besides you, and thanks to his hard work, we managed to find the bastards that took you captive. They were disorganized and had already lost most of their leadership. The rescue mission was carried out under my supervision, and we were able to retrieve you without further casualties."

"I appreciate that, sir. Just one more question... What do you know about the girl that was locked up with me? Who was she?"

"Lieutenant Sanchez found a kid in one of the nearby towns. The interpreter said his sister, the village elder's daughter, was taken. That girl must have been her. She was a mute. Apparently, she was born that way. A pity she didn't make it."

I thanked the commander for sharing that information with me. I understood why she was never gagged and why she didn't speak with words. She did speak to me, though. She managed to speak on a whole other level. And it's only because of that mute girl, because of what she communicated to me with her eyes and smile, only because of that I made it out alive.