Forbidden love on Titanic

Walking on to the largest ship in the world was about to change everything for some many people. I never knew how much it would change my life. My family was one of the wealthy ones and my father had bought first class tickets the moment they went on sale in May of 1911. He heard of the largest ship being built and wanted the prestige of being one of the first to sale on the largest ship ever built.

For nearly four years, my father mentioned it quite often. The moment he heard of the approved plans in 1908, there was no stopping him from getting tickets the moment they went on sale in 1911. The last year before the maiden voyage, he brought it up almost daily. I was sick of hearing about it but my mother told me to take it with a grain of salt and respect my father. It was difficult but I respected my mother so took heed to her advice. My father was a pompous jackass who only cared about money. He didn’t spend much time with me.

Finally, the time came to take that voyage. I kept wondering if it would shut him up or just give him another subject to talk about. As we were boarding, my father told the crew to be extra careful with the luggage. Across the way, at the other check in point, there was boy about my age. I gave a little, shy wave and he reciprocated. I was hoping to see him again on the ship. He was first class as well so it was a good probability.

We got settled into our room and I wanted to explore the ship and maybe find that boy again. "Mom, can I go explore the ship for a bit?”

“Not right now, Eric. We have to wave farewell to your grandparents.”

I reluctantly followed her and my father to wave at them. They were my father’s parents and they were just as snobby as he was. I swore I would never be like him or them. I took a lot after my mother. Even though it was 1912, she was more fun and freethinking. I felt more comfortable being around her than I was with him.

Once we got done with that stupidity, it was set free to explore the ship. I searched all over and couldn’t find him. I even went to the bow of the ship and some weirdo was with his friend shouting something about being a king or something. I couldn’t really hear him too well since it was windy and he was pretty far. There weren’t many people around that part of the ship. Why would be lean so far over the front of the ship? I really couldn’t care less, at that point, about the ship or that screaming guy. I just wanted to find that boy I waved to.

Soon enough, it was dinner time and I wasn’t able to find him. My mother made me dress up in a tuxedo and hinted that maybe that boy I waved to would be there. I looked at her with surprise and delight. She put that thought in my head that I might able to find him after all. For the first time in my 17 years, I was happy to sit down at a dinner with my parents. Their snobby friends had an excruciated conversation about business stuff that I completely tuned out. I politely ate my food while keeping an eye for him.

I was getting into the third course and I still hadn't seen him. I was losing hope but I finally spotted him at the opposite side of dining hall. I was so happy I could hardly contain myself. He didn’t see me but I kept my eye on him just in case he left. I was not about to lose him again.

Dinner was finally over and I urgently excused myself because I noticed he was getting up to leave. I briskly walked over to that area and introduced myself. “Hi. I’m Eric.”

“Oh. Hi. I’m Jacob.”

“Nice to meet you. You want to maybe explore the ship with me?”

“That would be neat. Let me check.”

He checked with him mother who was still standing nearby talking to other adults. He came back with disappointment on his face. “My mom said I can’t. We have to meet some relatives that are being picked up at Cherbourg.”

“Dang. What about after? I’ll meet you at the shuffleboard at eight?”

Jacob perked up, “Yeah! That’d totally work. I’ll see you there!”

Eight o’clock came and went. Jacob didn’t show. I was getting sad and almost gave up. I gave him a little more time and anxiously kept waiting. Finally, around 8:45, he came running from around the corner. Without hesitation, he gave me a huge hug. It lasted longer than I thought it would but I was happy. We both seemed to already have the same frame of mind about meeting each other.

Since it was late, we couldn’t stay out too late but we were able to walk around and talk for at least an hour. That was one of the best nights of my life. Around 10, we walked to our suites and come to find out, we were on the same floor, same side, and only 5 suites down from each other. Jacob said, “I don’t want this night to end.”

“I don’t either. At least we have tomorrow and the next 5 days.”

Jacob bashfully smiled, “Yeah.”

I gave him a long hug and wanted to kiss him but was too scared. As we pulled apart from the hug, he kissed me on the lips and we both paused. We looked at each other for a bit then both went in for another kiss. It was heaven that felt like forever but only a few seconds later we heard an older gentleman come from around the corner. “Better keep separated you two or you might be seen as a couple of sissies and be reported to the Master at Arms.”

We made space between ourselves and chuckled. Jacob said, “I should get going.”

“Yeah, me too. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Definitely.”

We went in for one last kiss of the night and went to our respective rooms. I couldn’t fall asleep easily that night. I kept thinking of him and his softly supple lips. I wanted to hold that fit body against mine and just cherish his existence. Needed to run my fingers through his lush brown hair and smell his essence. He was the only thing I wanted as that moment. Sleep be damned if I couldn’t have him in my arms.

Alas, I finally fell asleep and dreamt of him many times throughout the night. I woke up with a smile on my face and my father asked, “Why are you smiling so big today?”

“Um... I don’t know.”

“Come on. There has to be something. Men don’t smile like that for just nothing.”

My mother interrupted, “Maybe it's just the ship and the sea air. It brings out the happiness in people. Plus, these beds are extremely comfortable.”

My father just waved it off and grumbled while lighting his pipe. My mother winked at me while we finished out breakfast on our suite patio. My father left the suite and my mother started to say, “I know you’re happy right now and understand why but just be careful. You don’t know what can happen in the next week. I know things what you’re doing might scary if you’re caught but just know I love you and won't let anything happen to you.”

I started top tear up and gave my mother a huge hug. She knew what I was before I did but we never had to say anything. Her love was unconditional and it made me feel safer to be around Jacob. We spent the next couple of days together and the morning or the 12th he said he had a surprise for me. It going to be later at night so I had to wait. I was anxious but just happy I was spending time with him.

After dinner with the family, we met up at the shuffleboard. “Hey, you. Wait here for a minute. I’ll be right back.”

He gave me a peck on the cheek and ran off. A couple walked by and scoffed at me. I didn’t care. My Jacob was willing to risk it all for me. I would do the same for him too. He came back with pure excitement. “Ready for real fun?”

Excited but cautious, “With you? Always.”

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me along. I had no idea where we were headed. It was a crazy jaunt he took me on. We ran from the shuffleboard to the stairs, went down a few flights of stairs and down a hallway. He stopped us at a door that I had no idea where it went. He grabbed and squeezed my shoulders. “I know it's only been a couple days and they have been amazing. I don’t want this to end ever. I hope when we get to America we can still stay together.”

“Aww, Jacob, me too. I never want to let you go.”

“Together forever?”

“Forever, babe.”

He kissed me with the most passion he had shown me to this point. Then he opened the door to reveal the pool. The pool was a new feature for luxury liners. The Titanic pool was meant for adults of the first-class members and only open until 6p. I knew we weren’t supposed to be there which made it much more exciting. We kept the lights off to not raise suspicions. Luckily there was enough light emanating through the windows and making it more romantic.

He took me by the hand to the edge of the pool. “Swim with me?”

I stood there in awe at first. “But we don’t have our suits...”

He took off his shirt and started unhooking his shorts. “So, we go in without them.”

Still in awe as he kept taking articles of clothing off, I figured I’d just go with the flow. Whatever happens, happens and I was going to have fun while I could. I followed suit and took everything off and jumped in. We had fun splashing about for a bit then he pulled me in and held each other floating. We floated there what felt like an amazing time in eternity just talking and kissing here and there. Out of pure curiosity, I had to ask, “So, how did you get the key to get in here?”

“There’s a crew member I noticed when we were boarding. We made eye contact and knew. I found him again and asked about the pool. Talked him into letting me borrow the key.”

“And he’s not gonna tell anyone?”

“Nah. He’s one of us so he’ll keep the secret.”

That satisfied me and I just went back to enjoying my time with my Jacob. I never wanted this moment to end. He seemed to feel the same way but we started to get cold so we agreed to head back to our suites. We got out and fortunately that crew member with the key left some towels for us. After getting dressed, we peaked out the door before leaving. No one was around but we quickly headed to the stairs and dropped the key back to the crew member. It was only 9:30 so we both had time to spend a little more time together.

Wanting to spend more time together, we decided to ask both our parents to be able to stay out longer and do more around the boat. Surprisingly, both sets of parents said yes. We were about to have a lot more fun. The next day we spent the day running around and having fun. We heard there was more fun to be had in third class. After dinner we decided to head down there. We’re were still young and weren’t all snobby party poopers like our parents. We didn’t mind hanging out with the lower-class people.

Down in third class we found a whole new group of people to get along with. They didn’t care about how we felt about each other. I was able to sit on Jacob’s lap without being ridiculed and treated differently. Even an occasional kiss was celebrated by those around us. They were so much fun and lose they even gave us some beer. It was disgusting but it was all about just having fun with new friends.

Amongst the party, we saw a couple that seemed to take the spot light. There was a little dancefloor and they spun around that thing so fast. I could’ve only imagined all they saw around them was blurs. A short while later, we were sitting near a table of guys arm wrestling when that spinning girl came up to them. She was my inspiration that night. She smoked something then chugged an entire pint of beer. I thing she was some sort of ballerina because she stood up on the tips of her toes without any shoes. I cheered her on with everyone else around but then went back to time with Jacob and our friends we met. I never had a chance to hang out with people lower than me but this was the best time of my life.

A few hours had past so we finally left. The top deck was empty since it was so late. Jacob and I were able to walk arm in arm with my head on his shoulder. We just talked and walked. It was amazing. We got to a spot where it was a little darker and we could see even more of the stars. It was freezing but he kept me warm. We leaned on the railing and with his arm around me he said, “You know, Eric, I’ve had an amazing time these last couple of days. I know we haven’t known each other very long but I feel amazing when I'm around you. Maybe it’s the close quarters or maybe the sea air but I feel more for you than I have ever felt about anyone. I don’t want this to end. Ever.”

“I don’t want it to end either. I feel the same way about you too.”

“I want to tell you something but don’t want to scare you. I’ve never told anyone this.”

“Babe, you can tell me anything.”

Jacob took a breath and with a calm sense of relief he said, “I love you, Eric.”

I was taken aback but so fiercely happy. No one has said that to me nor I to anyone else. This was my first real time being able to say it back. “I love you too, Jacob.”

We both smiled huge smiles and gave each other such a passionate kiss. Nothing could ever compare to this moment. Unfortunately, it was time to head back to our suites. The next day my parents had plans so I couldn’t see Jacob except for a few minutes after dinner. We were able to sneak away for five minutes to make out in a closet. It was fun but we had to get back to family stuff. The next day we were going to spend the entire day together... or at least we thought we were.

I didn’t sleep well that night. Mostly because I couldn’t see Jacob the entire day and it tore me apart. I wanted my love in my arms but I couldn’t. I was mad but also sad we couldn’t run away together. I had finally fallen asleep then suddenly a sharp shaking as if an earthquake was under the ship. It woke up me and my parents and we went to the middle room looking at each other with a puzzled look. My dad went to find a crewman and find out what had happened. He came back and told us Titanic had stuck an iceberg.

I hugged my mother and with worry in my voice said, “We should be fine right, dad? They said the ship was unsinkable. We’re going to fine.”

“Gloria, get dressed and get the boy dressed to. This isn’t going to be good.”

I was shock about what could be happening right now. My mother rushed to get dressed and they both left me standing there in awe. I knew I had to go get dressed but all I could think about was possibly dying but even worse never seeing Jacob again. I ran out the door in my pajamas and went over to Jacob’s suite. Jacob answered the door and gave me a huge hug. “I’m so happy you came over here. They wouldn’t let me leave. My dad said the ship hit an iceberg and it’s taking on water. He says its going down and won't be able to be saved. There’s not enough lifeboats and I’m scared out of my mind.”

“I scared too Jacob. We just need to stick together and we’ll be fine.”

“Okay. I’ll come get you if we leave and you come get me, okay?

“Deal.”

“Whatever happens, I’ll find you. I’ll always be with you.”

His dad came to the door and pulled Jacob inside. “There will be none of this sissy stuff happening. Go back to your own room, boy. You won’t be seeing my son again.”

He slammed the door and my heart sank faster than the boat I was on. I held back tears with hope I would see him again. I went back to my suite and got dressed. Crewmembers had started to uncover and lower the lifeboats. They came to get us but when I went to get Jacob, the room was already empty. He didn’t come get me but I can only assume his dad stopped him. It felt I was being dragged by my mother to safety.

We lined up for a lifeboat since the first-class woman and children were able to go first. As we were waiting, I kept an eye out for Jacob. I couldn’t see him anywhere. Maybe it was because it was such a long ship. Maybe he was on the other side. Maybe he was already lowered into the water. So many possibilities and some of them made me almost cry. I didn’t want to think about the bad possibilities so I focused up on just getting into the boat and being alive for him.

The boat was full so we were lowered. Fortunately, my mother was with me but we had to wave goodbye to my father. I didn’t know it then but it would be the last time I saw him. He only gave my mother a loving farewell. He barely looked at me when he said goodbye. Even to the last moment, he made me hate him. It was freezing but fortunately a bigger lady named Molly helped keep me warm.

Our boat started rowing away from the ship for safety. We watched in horror as people jumped into the freezing water, the debacle of lifeboat safety, and largest ship in the world slowly sinking at her bow. The attempt of using flares to get someone’s attention was futile. We were only sitting there for an hour but it felt like 10 years. The massive stern rose hundreds of feet into the air. People were jumping or falling and hitting the propellers. It was heartbreaking to see all those people dying but I couldn’t stop watching. I was hoping and praying Jacob was safe on some other boat and not on that ship or in water.

The stern was so high in the air and in the dark, it had no choice. Even at the distance we were at, you could hear the haunting sound of the ship breaking in half. All the steel and wood snapping and cracking was nearly deafening. The back half of the ship broke in what seemed like a second and came crashing down on so many there was no way they survived. We even felt a small wave flow under us.

The stern went back up into the air for it to sink all the way down into the depths of the freezing Atlantic. The screams of the injured and dying would haunt me for years. Now that the ship had sunk all we could do was wait for rescue. Another what seemed like 10 years later, the Carpathia finally showed up and started picking up lifeboats and saving people. Once we were on the Carpathia, I wanted to look for Jacob. Hoping against hope he was alive and on this ship with me. He had to have made it but I was petrified he didn’t.

I wanted to look for him but my mother stopped me and made me sit with her. She never handled loss of a loved one very well. Even though my father didn’t like me, he loved my mother and she love him right back. I wanted that with Jacob but I stayed with her to comfort her. She had fallen asleep on the ships deck but I was still awake and worrying about Jacob. All I could do was sit there.

I sat there legs folded, arms around myself, and a blanket wrapped around my shoulders for comfort. Just after dawn, out of nowhere, I felt a presence kneel down next to me laying their hand on my shoulder. I paused for a moment because I knew that touch. It was the only touch I wanted to feel for the last 6 hours. I slowly turned to see Jacob’s wet but beautiful face. I lunged at him nearly knocking him down. I gave him the biggest hug and never wanted to let him go again. We gave each other as many kisses as possible without caring who would see it. This was our love and it stayed our love for the rest of our lives.