Followed

"It's always one thing after another with you." Carmine shook his head sheepishly. One of his hands gripped only barely to the 1 o'clock of the steering wheel, while the other put pressure at the back of his ear. He appeared to be timid, but I had the feeling that it was a reaction to cover up his anger of how troublesome I was to him. Nothing made the Carmine Jung timid. The reason would have to be pretty extreme.

"I'm sorry." I apologized. Not that I wanted to say that when I'd look at his stupidly flawless face. I wanted to look at it and said I couldn't give a single care, but I couldn't say that without lying. I was drained of any sort of energy that could argue back at him. Besides, I know it wasn't easy for him. It wasn't easy for me, and you can't spread what you don't have.

He was surprised, and my gentle response seemed to unlock an ever kinder version of him than I've ever seen. "I didn't say it was a bad thing." He mumbled. That timid side of him increased, and I couldn't understand why.

The car picked up speed as he stepped on the gas, and the surroundings of the sky connecting to earth became blurry. He went on to provide explanation. "I don't know if you want to talk to me after whatever our last conversation was, that is, if I'm understanding what happened correctly then, but I'm not going to lie to you whether you want to listen to me or not. None of this is easy. It's harder than I could've guessed. There's always the unexpected but never in a million years do you have any reason to be sorry, Kentucky."

"It was so sweet until you had to end it like that." I emphasized my last word to let him know how much I hated the name-calling, but I knew very well it wasn't going to stop him. If it hasn't yet, it never will.

"Seriously though," He let out a chuckle in between. "If this is what we have to work with? So be it."

"Do you actually mean that?"

"Why wouldn't I? What do you take me for?" He exclaimed so loudly, I can swear it shook the vehicle. His foot came off the gas and the car was slowing. To the best of his ability he was admiring the outside world, but multitasking it to keep his eyes on the road. Thanks to God if he doesn't kill us both today, two birds with one stone. "You've been running away your whole life, but you don't have to run anymore because you have me. I won't let anything happen to you. No person with a brain and a conscience would allow that."

He bit his lip, nodding his head up and down fiercely. "I find it weird that you've grown up here your whole life and you haven't seen a thing. I'm not from here and I know Colorado like the back of my hand. That makes you more foreign than me. If you've been mocked by the law for more than two decades, and you've rarely, in peace, observed the scenery nature has, do you know at all what beauty is?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but I didn't have the time to get a syllable out. Enthusiastically, Carmine pointed out my window. Tall peaks of rock shot up in the air by at least 300 feet, backed up by a sky that was beginning to clear up; the unpredictable weather of the state was back at it again. "Here's a perfect example. It's sandstone. Red in color. It's the most pleasing thing on the eyes that I've ever known. Every time I come back from Korea I have to come here. I'll never get tired of it. It taught me that beauty isn't something for the law to define. That's up to me, contrary to what many people say."

I held my wrist to prevent it from trembling, but there was a level to it at certain times that I couldn't stop. I shut my eyes, his "red in color" phrase haunting my mind the way it would in my nightmares. "R-red?" I stuttered through it. "Red has never been beautiful. It can't be."

You think it is, but it fools you in the end.

"Oh really?" He tilted his head. His eyes were still faced out in front of him, but I knew if he was looking at me his expression would prove he was waiting for me to take it back as some sort of joke. I didn't. I wouldn't even act like I was. I wasn't willing to do that. "Do you know what this landmark is called?"

"No?" It sounded like a question. I couldn't guess something I had no knowledge on whatsoever.

"It's called Garden of the Gods. Do you know why it got that name?"

"Nope." It was a statement this time, but barely. I popped the 'p' to give an extra touch, as I tried not to wince. He liked my answer, because that means he had to tell me.

"In 1859, when a surveyor laid his eyes on this place, he had yelled that it was, 'a fit place for the gods to assemble'. After all these years, it's considered to be one of the most beautiful places in the state. That's what beauty is to me. Beauty isn't a trend, it's an attitude. It's a trait inside, within or throughout. Something that's remembered and that remains no matter how much time passes. There's more to being pretty to the eyes. It's being memorable to the heart." He was so passionate in the way he described it, I could've fell for such a 'trap' if I let down my guard and believed him, but I kept it up, locked and secured from falling away. "Do you believe me now? That red is beautiful?"

"Not with shallow reasons like that." I could see his eyelashes flutter from his side profile, and it could make my heart skip a beat, but that wouldn't change that I couldn't agree with him. If it did happen to reside within me, it wouldn't last there long. "You're going to have to try way harder than that to convince me."

"Is that a challenge?"

"Try me."

"Okay, Dakota. I'll prove it to you. Before we can get home, I'll have you in love with the color red."

He doesn't know that there's such a big catch to his claim. "Fine, Carmine. If you insist."

******

The store he lead me into was smaller than the rest. It played light indie-style music in the background, and compared to the mall's main hallways and big crowds of people walking it and chattering, it had a serenity that couldn't be found anywhere else in the entire building. I could probably bet money on that. Especially because no one was in here to watch us, besides one cashier chilling in the back room.

Carmine adjusted his hat's brim lower over his face, to keep hidden just in case, but once that was put aside he had such an unwavering aura I had to envy him once more. He swiped through outfits like you would when failing to find a match on Tinder. The clashing of hangers was gentler than the hum overhead of us, but it was easier for me to hear it than the song.

"Aha! I've got it!" He said suddenly. I jumped when he shouted aloud so joyfully. Naturally, my vision was drawn to the noise. I found him gesturing for me to come over, with one hand, while the other was hidden behind the rack of clothes I couldn't make out what it was. I inched over to him reluctantly. "Minnesota!" He dragged out the last letter it would go on for miles. "This would look so good on you. You should try it on. Don't tell me you can resist this."

I was fixed on the dress when he held it out. It was loose-fitting and modest, that it would hang down just passed my knee if I had to guess. It was nothing flashy or revealing, and nothing over the top that screamed expensive. The sleeves were lacy and so was the lower hem, but not enough to be annoying. Carmine was right. It's exactly my style if I was allowed to choose it during my life until this point. It is absolutely breathtaking.

But the color was revolting and scary. Red is not a beautiful color. "You're not making me wear that." I refused. I had a reflex developing within me that made me want to either beat it out so I couldn't see it again, or that prepared me to run far away from this store and to the other side of the world. Fight or flight.

"And why not?" He pouted the way a toddler would. It shed about every year he could hold and made him a baby again.

"Because," his childish attitude was rubbing off on me, so I couldn't go full out on him. "It's red, and you failed to convince me that red is pretty."

"What a buzzkill you are." He stomped his foot on the wood floor, clearly disappointed, but what I failed to remember at all the necessary times is the man is an actor. He clicked out of the emotion like he was programmed to. Another article of clothing found its way to my face. "Just try that one on. I'll buy it for you if you like it."

I brought it away from my face so I could see what he forced into my possession. It was the same dress, but with a blueish-purple color to it that shouted royalty in every way that you could. I eyed him with raised eyebrows, back and forth between that and the dress. "What's the catch?"

"No catch. I swear across my heart. It's what you get because I failed the bet, fair and square. No catch, seriously." Conviction was in his voice and I accepted it. I've never knew someone who could offer me something like this, and I never expected to. It felt funny to accept but just once I wanted to give in to my material wishes. I held the dress tighter to my chest before I took off in a full spring to the fitting rooms, so in case he decided he wanted to change his mind, he wouldn't have the time.

I was face to face with my reflection in the space closed off, and I peered in when I was alone at every detail on me that was so much different than it's ever been, since the times I'd only see my face in what the river would give back to me were long gone. I did feel prettier, and I liked that, but I didn't feel real. I couldn't look in the mirror and be certain it was me. I didn't know how to accept that. I could see my reflection and almost not recognize myself.

But that wasn't the most important thing right now. It wasn't the time to worry. Besides, if I can't recognize myself nobody else should be able to, and that's what we were going for. I should be proud about the way my eye make up matched my dress, or how even the face mask did, and how it couldn't be better. The little things. That's what I should focus on.

I couldn't express my opinion on it out loud, but Carmine already had his decision in mind. "Ma'am, we'll be buying this one." He shouted out to the woman out back kindly, but just loud enough to get her attention. There was a big smile on my face. I couldn't tell if he knew I liked it, or if he liked it on me, but he sure did make it harder to un-love him and move on either way.

We left with the purchased dress hugging my every curve, in some way that didn't make me self-conscious. If this was how shopping was always supposed to feel, or if Carmine had something about him that turned normal things into the shiniest sparkling of adventures; it really could be either one, but I put my faith in the second. Carmine was unique. He wasn't like just anybody. That's what I got out of him these days. I can't quite describe it, but I just knew.

It's the first time in history I felt at ease enough to be taken away by the music of the main halls, with the newly released pop songs I've never heard. I let myself jam, making up awkward moves as I went along.

Every once in a while, I'd hear people snicker, or I could feel their eyes drill into the back of my skull when they walked by, but I could care less. I felt free in a life that everyone else felt restricted because they began to take it for granted, and Carmine wasn't the least bit embarrassed. He was next to me every step.

"You're really weird." He whispered into my ear under a joking giggle. There were some flashes coming from around us when he did, and I knew the paparazzi were on our tail, but Carmine didn't seem disturbed, so I didn't let it bother me either. He knew a lot better than me when it came to that, and it'd show.

"This is the me I've always wanted to be, but never could. It's not opened for judging." I sassed in reply with the same kind of laugh as his. There were a few more flashes on us. He still didn't seem disturbed.

"I'm honored to be the first one to know your real personality, New Hampshire." I slapped him at his arm playfully when he said that, more because of the name than the words. Those were sweet and I think he meant them, but there's several interpretations that it could have, and I knew what dangers of creating illusions in my head could bring. Again, there were a few more camera flashes.

"You better be." I began.

I had more to say, but a woman stood in front of us, cutting off our narrow walkway. People were crowding in a bit closer and she was hard to get around. We couldn't expect it if we were told they'd show up.

She grinned in a mischievous, yet somehow innocent way all at once, and she had her hands formally placed in front of her. There was a camera wrapped around her neck by a strap. Some of those many flashes must've been hers. "You don't happen to be Carmine Jung, as in the actor Carmine Jung, are you?"

"Well," Carmine sighed, as people surrounded him a little bit tighter, but it slipped for only a second. He smiled a wide smile as he nodded to greet some of the crowd. "Yes. I'm Carmine Jung."

"The news said a lot about your mom, Connie Jung-."

"I'm sorry, but her actions don't concern me." He answered in as kind of a voice he could manage. I, on instinct, clutched him by the back of his shirt as my personal space was demolished more than I thought it could be.

"Okay. Understood." The woman responded. She dropped it so quickly it was suspicious, and we were soon to see why. It wasn't her main interest. "A little birdie told me that the girl known by 'anonymous girl' on the set's sign-in sheet is the same girl you've brought with you today. She claimed she was a lucky fan, but would you really accompany an ordinary fan to the mall? What's your real relationship with anonymous girl and who is she?"

"I can't release that sort of information." Carmine said simply. He was surprised they'd notice such a little detail as a sign up sheet, and to make it worse, the woman wasn't here to back down so easily on something she actually cared to know. She had her hands on my mask, and I knew her mission was to yank it off, but my hands were clenched to my sides from the flood of people, and they were too stiff to move the way I needed them to.

"Oh come on! Who is she?" She crossed a line with us, and it was getting dangerous on our sides. If she saw my features I'll be dead before tomorrow comes. I could be dead on the spot and he'd be in terrible trouble because of me.

Carmine whipped out in front of me to cut off her hand from reaching my face. He debated for a moment, and he hesitated on what he should say due to the pressure, but once it was on his head to do what he thought of, he was determined to get through with it.

"Please don't touch her." He said sternly. "She's my girlfriend. There. I said it. And because she's not famous, I'd like to keep her beauty to myself. Thank you very much."

My heart beat at a speed that'd surpass world records. Behind the feeling of love, there's not only love. There's hope too, and he was doing a good job at feeding it no matter how forbidden it might be.