floorboards creak...[ch. 6]: feeling like a new machine

Cas can’t fathom why he can’t stop thinking about Dean, he wonders if Uriel could tell him if any equivalent to ransomware has been performed in his brain; as silly as it sounds. He's literally downstairs and a stranger. At least his apartment is downstairs and he had just met Dean. Maybe Cas should visit, it's only been a day but...Dean left without exchanging numbers. Something Cas laments now.

Just as Cas sends his lungs air into another sad sigh, Uriel walks past and peers in slightly.

"Wanderlust? Or regular lust?," Uriel asks while wriggling his eyebrow, as plainly as "coffee or tea?"

"Neither," Cas intones, in a cadence unbelievable to them both. Uriel rolls his eyes and strolls into the room to somehow ease gracefully onto a beanbag chair in the corner by the door.

"Let's try that again," Uriel says.

As Cas inhales to begrudgingly divulge, his phone rings. Cas looks down at his bed sheets and rummages for his phone. It's Benny. He holds the phone up to Uriel, hoping it could be his out to the impending conversation. Uriel slowly lifts both hands in exasperation, gets up and walks out. Cas presses the green button quickly, and presses the phone to his ear.

"Hello, Benny," Cas says in the most beloved tone he can muster.

"Sali, cheri, how ya been?" Benny drawls, Cas smiles ear to ear.

"Well, Benny, better now," Cas says and he chuckles. Benny has a habit of mixing in the Kreyol he learned in New Orleans when they talk to seem more cultured. Cas always found it funny because Benny wasn't even Creole, he was just as white as him. But Cas secretly is so fond of him that it didn't matter that he so damn pasty despite being in a fairly sunny and warm environment for the time of year. Cas kind of wants to pretend to "accidentally" hit the Facetime button and see if Benny has capacity to chat. He does. When Benny picks up, Cas is looking at Benny's MacBook screen. Peculiar but not unheard of for Benny, he liked to take Cas around like a little pet gay person in his phone, showing him whatever piqued his interested. Cas wonders how best to approach the question:

"Are you going to ask or should I just tell you?" Benny teases.

Cas tilts his head, "I'm not even sure what I'm looking out, love, what is this?" In front of Cas is a screen with text from a website phone app.

"It's my villain origin story, Amelia's girlfriend is cheating on her and I'm going to make sure she ends up in the cutest little jar she ever did see." Benny crones. Benny's niece Amelia was 17 and a lesbian and Benny had always been very protective of her. Cas wonders if he should ask Benny to pull tarot for him and find out if Dean has put him in a sweet jar or something. Being spiritually roofied doesn't feel as unpleasant as he anticipated but Benny needed support so he'll ask later. Benny was pretty well versed in those types of dealings, Cas could ask at any time.

"How do you know, Benny?" Cas inquires. Benny could really sink his teeth into something when he was furious. A puppy with a bone.

"I downloaded Tinder, swiped right on her from a fake profile and then asked her about her recent soirees. She couldn't wait to tell me, mon cher," Benny spilled. "It's almost like they served as bragging rights and not a strike each against my poor sugar." Cas sighs and pouts to show his sympathy. Benny doesn't need words, he needs ears. As much as Cas can offer.

"So...who are you that she thinks she is talking to?" Cas inquires.

"Ahh, that is the secret sauce, cheri, I met her crush, who knows she has a crush and decided to show me her instagram. I just took those photos and made a profile. I have to delete it before anyone recognizes her." Benny rushes to explain, well, as fast as his southern drawl could allow anyway.

"Benny, babe, I believe what you've done is illegal." Cas chides, knowing full well what Benny's response is going to be.

"Oh, honey, I'm lawless."

A few minutes later, Cas lays weary and swimming head on his pillow and sighs. Four hours later and he's still awake in his bed thinking of Benny, hoping he’s still asking people for their pronouns and loving himself as fiercely as he deserves. He can only hope. Benny taught him so much but Cas acknowledges that Benny didn’t need to be a teacher to be loved fiercely. Benny had such a bright presence when given the chance but could also be pretty mousey in their intimate moments. He cowered his height and ducked his head so much but when you really allowed him to blossom open and not pry, oh, he was gorgeous in his own radiance. Cas things of Benny’s bright smile and spirit in that moment and a smile of his own blossoms. That gives him enough energy to think about food or a snack. He hops off his bed and towards the kitchen.

Anna walks into the living room from the rooftop a few moments later and sees the lingering smile on Cas' face and one sprinkles across her face as well.

“Thinking of Dean, I’m presuming?,” she inquires, sitting down beside him. In his phone, sitting on the table, is Dean’s media tab on twitter but he’s not looking at anything in particular, just soaking in the energy of the photos: Dean is sad but smiling, trying.

“Benny, actually. Hoping he’s doing okay, I just happen to have this open at the same time, I suppose.” Cas grabs his phone in one hand and some pita chips in another and they make their way to the couches.

“Hmmph, don’t get your wires crossed there, brother. Benny might visit and then you’ll really be in deep. I have a feeling they both have the same possessive streak,” she cautions, as she puts her legs on Cas’ and stretches out. Cas reclines and lets them both get comfortable there, although he finds his conversations today anything but; “Dean is sweet but he’s no Benny, they’re allowed to be completely different, sister.” Anna shrugs, taking nothing personally but principle.

“Just give them each their own room in your mind then, brother. When one is in mind, don’t look for the other. When viewing one, don’t keep the other in mind. Then you won’t have to deal with such a bothersome conversation,” she says as she rolls her eyes and fishes for the remote. Cas ducks his head then, she has a point.

Dean is...head over heels. Cas does floor time, he does emotional check-ins, he even shares resources on his twitter about healthy relationships, bee facts, and attachment styles.

"Did you know that there's no patriarchy amongst hive members in bee colonies? It's a girlboss' dream." Dean says absentmindedly as he scrolls Cas' twitter. Sam rolls his eyes and looks up from his school books and laptop.

"I'd think you had a crush if you weren’t so...butch about it."

"Why do you keep calling me that??" And the usual queer sibling bickering begins, Sam came out after the first week of classes. Having gone to a LGBTQ Resource meeting and met a cute bi girl name Jessica. Before Sam could finish rolling his eyes, Dean hears an envelope go through the door slot. Right now it's 7:17pm so it’s not regular mail and a scurry of feet goes up the stairs to follow. Must be the neighbors. Sam goes to walk over since he hears it too.

"Nah nah, school boy, I got it," Dean snarks and jogs to the door. When he closes in on the door he sees that it's yellow, with an embossed bee on it.

Cas.

The card reads: “Just bumbling by to say hi!” on the front with a bee flying in the shape of a loop. Dean smiles.

Dean is careful to pry the folded close envelope despite it being fairly easily to just slip open. Inside, on the nicest paper Dean's ever had the honor of touching, is what he thinks is Cas' number. It's written with dots in between each section of the number instead of dashes but he's mostly sure it's Cas’ cell. He takes a deep breath and tries not to freak in case Sammy wants to make a big thing out of such a little letter. Just as he turns around he bumps into Sam who had stealthed over to look over his shoulder.

“Did Cas send you that?,” he says with a grin.

“Fuck off, how did you get so close jeez,” Dean snaps. He always feels bad halfway through snapping at Sam, his little brother is used to after-apologies but Dean wishes he could just cap it before it leaves his mouth.

“Yea, yea, you’re sorry, what does it say?,” Sam asks before Dean can think of speaking again.

“It-it’s…uhh, I don’t know, it’s just a number,” Dean manages.

“Ok? Call it, text it, facetime it,” Sam starts to walk back towards the kitchen and grabs a book and heads to his room. “I’ll give you some Dean time.” He throws over his shoulder. His older brother stands there, sort of stunned. He turns the card over and over in his hands, peeping all the little details. It’s embossed with Cas’ name instead of written. Dean didn’t catch it at first. Very subtle but super cool.

Dean freezes, Cas is adorable and way out of his league, he seems so educated on the stuff that Dean is just now figuring out, what could the guy possibly want with him? He moves on autopilot to his phone, he inputs the number and saves it and then blocks the contact. Dean is smart but Cas is smarter and doesn’t deserve Dean messing up his junk, whatever it is.

But then he thinks that Cas will probably ask or follow up so he unblocks the contact and opens his messages. Is “hey” too overdone? Dean walks to his room and closes the door a little too rough just to let Sam know he’s taking his “Dean Time.” Then he plops on his bed, belly first and starts at the blank message thread. What does he say?