“Disconnected,” he spoke suddenly, catching her off-guard.
“What do you mean?” she asked him through concerned eyes.
“It’s what you want to know, isn’t it?” he added, staring off into the distance.
Turning her face away in a futile attempt to hide her distress, she stated quietly, “It always seems like you are going into some kind of dreamlike state.”
“You know I notice. You know I see that look of worry you hide behind your own smile,” he says turning his head in the process, yet avoiding making contact with her eyes. “I choose this, you didn’t. I fight, oh, boy do I fight the urge to push you away. It tears at me to see that look of abject fear as my mind drifts into the abyss.” he adds, turning his head away with a solitary tear upon his cheek.
Reaching for his face, she abruptly moves his face towards hers, “Listen to me. The only way you could hurt me is by pushing me away. That would kill me.” she responded through a reddened mist.
Standing up, he began to pace back and for, “Then what am I to do, huh? Stay, be your burden, and stop you from living the life I so promised you would have when we first met. I chose this path; I made a conscious choice with every sip of alcohol I chose to drink. Do you think, do you, that I’m going to let it destroy another life, become another’s prison? Well, do you? You will say, I love you, but love, do you even know what it truly is? The needs of another above your own. How can I, through my own selfish actions, steal away your chance of seeing the world, of doing all the things you so dream of doing? Well, do you?” he angrily screamed through a flood of tears.
Lifting herself up, she walked toward him, in a rarely seen determined rage. “I wish for once in my life people would just let me make my own dammed decisions and quit telling me what’s good for me. I choose to stay with you. Is my voice truly worth nothing?” she rasped back at him with mirrored tears cascading like a waterfall down her face.
“I don’t know what razors my heart more, the fact you stay or the fact one day I won’t remember who you are? Do you know I have a post-it note by my bed that reminds me that I love you? It is the first thing that I read each morning and the last thing that I read at night.” he cries in a choked voice.
She looks at him for a brief moment, before a smile raises across her face, “You should know by now that I am too stubborn to abandon someone I love.” she mournfully called out to him.
“Fuck love, is there anything that brings more sorrow in this life? Is it not akin to sheer madness and insanity, to give up all for one random person in 8 billion? Have you seen a doctor? Have you thrown away your own reasoned judgment? How can one so insidious in thought make such a claim, love, you speak of love for a man losing the very thing that makes him, him? His goddam freaking MIND!” he construed to her.
Written by Raven and Isabella.
Thoughts: In the end, love is a roller coaster: Scary, thrilling, and often we scream our souls out, but love is always beautiful and worth it.
About the Creator
Isabella Rose
I am a dedicated author with a passion for fiction. I own a joint business with my amazingly talented co-writer and poet, Raven Black.
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Comments (1)
I understand his rage but the thing is, when we love someone, that too unconditionally, we would give up everything for them. Your story was so emotional!