Embers In Winter

The first time I saw her was in the middle of summer. The air was thick with heat and moisture, so the pond was the only place to cool off. The pond belonged to the old couple in the house next to it but they didn't mind anyone using it. They knew how hot it was when summer rolled around and they knew that the ice cream parlor owner hated kids hanging around all day. So the pond was the only place to go all summer.

The day I saw her, she was laying on the pond dock. I could see her strawberry red hair hanging off touching the water. She was as still as a tree. I'm not sure why I was so drawn to her. Was it because no other girl in town had hair as bright as hers? Was it because she was unmoving while everyone else was laughing, swimming, and talking around her?

No.

I think it was because she was alone. Just like I was alone every day I went to the pond.

***

For the rest of summer, I woke up in the morning and went to the pond. I never used the dock, however, because I knew that's where she would be. She would get to the pond not too long after I would arrive.

Some days she would have a book and sit down at the edge of the dock and read. Other days she would lay and trace the water with her hand. But, she never got in the pond. She was never dressed to swim. She wore faded blue jeans, long-sleeved tops, and on the days where the heat was unbearable. You could see her wearing beautiful dresses that grazed her thighs.

On days I felt brave, I would swim closer to the dock. I could almost make out patterns on her dress. Sunflowers. No, Daisies. It was some flower. And she would be rubbing a necklace between her thumb and index finger if they weren't busy drawing on the water.

I would watch her for hours, but she never noticed me staring. She was always focused. Thinking about something. Or something would have her focus.

I had prepared myself for the day she would look up from her book and see me standing in the water. I would wave. She would smile and wave back. But that day never came.

***

Summer was coming to an end and it had begun to get colder. That's when she stopped showing up at the pond. And just like that, the pond was empty of people. As if they all came to see her as I did.

I would still come every day hoping that she would be there on the dock but she never was. The water was getting colder and colder every passing day. So instead of swimming, I'd sit on the dock. Then the dock started to be wet from melting ice, so I'd walk around the pond.

I probably looked crazy to the old couple who lived right next to the pond. No one came to the pond when it was this cold out. The grass was frozen with morning dew and crunched under my shoes. The wind was sharp and bit at me through the holes of my sweater. And the pond was gray and blue like the sky above it.

It's like she took the summer and all color with her when she left.

***

In the middle of the frozen pond, a figure glided back and forth. Occasionally, they leaped into the air and landed back down gracefully. I knew it was her because I could see red hair. It flowed in the wind behind her. I could have easily mistaken it as a scarf, but I remember just feeling so happy. And so, without thought, I stepped from the dock onto the pond.

I was not wearing skates. Just a pair of old sneakers. And yet, somehow, I managed to make my way over to her. The ice seemed to mutter and grumble under my feet but I ignored it. I had waited too long to see her.

She was still skating when I was a couple of feet from her. Her eyes shut and her lips parted into a smile. She was moving slowly like she was dancing. Swaying left and right. And when she would pass me, I could smell the perfume she was wearing. She smelled like vanilla and flowers.

I was so close to her. I could almost reach forward and grab her. To finally end the cold lonely days at the pond and bring back the summer. She was all I ever thought of. All I wanted.

But the longer I watched her, the more I realized she didn't know me and probably wouldn't want to know me. I would have rather remembered her skating on the ice peacefully than disturb that peace and have her look at me for what I am. Nobody.

I had started making my way back to the dock when suddenly the sound of skates raking the ice stopped. When I looked behind me, I could see she was now facing me. Her eyes open and her mouth parted to catch her breath. She was looking at me as if she was trying to remember me then she looked down and saw I had no skates. She laughed and the sound made my heart melt. When she was done laughing, she smiled.

I waved and she waved back.