Dreamer - Chapter 33

I leaned my head against the glass and watched as the trees slowly faded behind us. The surrounding area began to look as if it did yesterday. Was Rev taking me to the same place?

"Seriously Rev.. where are we going?"

"A place."

I rolled my eyes, "Obviously. Where is that place exactly?"

He ignored my question and focused on the road ahead. I picked my head up off the window and focused my eyes on him. His hands were slung over the top of the steering wheel and his eyes had been looking straight ahead. He looked as if he had been squinting, almost like you would if you stepped into bright daylight after being inside a dark room. I quickly shifted my eyes away, pulling out my phone to discover a ton of notifications filling my screen from Michael. I should've known better when I joked about him spamming my texts last night. Of course he'd choose not to take that lightly. Figuring I had some time to kill, I decided to just scroll through them.

"SPAM ATTACK: ACTIVATE" I chuckled as I read the first text to myself. Typical Michael. I really do miss him.

"So.."

"Lex.."

"Lexxxx"

"Lexxxxxxxy"

"Lexy? Lexie? I wonder what you would do if I just started calling you that from now on, Miss Alexis Kiele." I would absolutely destroy you, Mister Michael Evans. I hardly like the name Alexis.. thank god I never agreed to let myself go by Lexie. That name sounded way far off base for me.

"I miss you Lex."

"A lot."

"I wish you were here." As I read the last message, I couldn't help but let off a smile. I miss you too, bud. I opened the messages, preparing to reply, when Rev caught me smiling and figured he had to add in his two cents.

"Is your boyfriend calling you?"

"You know I don't have a boyfriend," I kept my eyes on my phone and I typed out "I miss you too' before pressing send and closing out the messages. I was about to place it back in my pocket when Rev grabbed the phone from my hands before I had the chance.

"This is supposed to be a day for just us." He said.

"Is someone getting a little jealous?"

"I'll never waste my time getting jealous over you?"

Ouch. I sarcastically threw my hand up to my chest, "Oh my god! I cannot believe that you'd ever tell me that. How would I ever live knowing that?"

He chuckled, "You think you're so funny. But seriously Lex.. let's keep this a no technology zone."

He handed me back my phone, which I placed back into my pocket, "Fine."

A few minutes went by before I started to feel the boredom start to hit. "How far away is this place that you decided I must get a chance to see today out of all days?"

"We're almost there."

I let out a sigh, "Why are you even trying to make me like your kind of activities?" The question left my lips before I had time to even process the words in my mind, but I didn't regret asking. I mostly just wanted to hear what he had to say to a question like that.

"I have to make sure you won't be too miserable when you hang with us."

"I didn't even think you'd care about what I thought about these little hangouts you talked so highly about."

"Of course I care," He pulled into a wide open field. The location reminded me of yesterday's location.. but I doubt he'd take us to the same place. "I know I probably never seem like I do, but I truly do want you to feel comfortable around us." He added. Wow. I could almost feel something for him when he spoke those words. Almost.

"You really think I'll feel comfortable around the man who shot my father?"

"Jesus, Lex," He slammed his gear into park before facing me, "I told you I was sorry. What else do you want from me?"

"Maybe for you to go back and.. oh, I don't know.. not shoot my father." I know he said he was sorry, and I know I probably shouldn't have brought it up.. especially around him, but he cannot just think I'd automatically forget what happened last night. How could anyone? "I still don't even fully understand how someone could just accidently shoot another human being," I added on, "You pulled out a gun on somebody and really expected to not pull the goddamn trigger." I could actually start to feel the anger in my voice as I spoke those words, and it even started to scare me a bit.

He stepped out of the car, slamming his door shut behind him. Unbelievable. "You're such a fucking child." I repeated as I closed my door.

"I'm a child?" He stepped closer to me, "I'm the child? Really?"

"Rev." I went to press my hand against his chest to hold him back, but hesitated against it.

"You don't fucking know me." He snapped.

"I know enough." I told him. I know this was one of the moments I should probably just keep my mouth shut and let him go off, but I cannot just stand here and remain silent. "I've seen things, Rev. I've seen a lot of things. Did you just happen to forget that? That gun has been your best friend since that first night we met; that gun has been pressed up against my back.. sent a bullet through your so-called friend.. and now it sent a bullet through the father of a girl who claimed to want to protect from all harm. You have always been glued to that gun and-" I was cut off by his grip tightening around my small wrist., squeezing ever so tightly.

"You.. do.. not.. know.. me." He repeated slowly, as if it was supposed to scare me. It didn't.

"You don't even know me!" I shouted back at him, breaking out of his grip before taking a step back. "You never knew me. Don't you dare go on and say how you've always known who I was because there is no possible way you could have known who I was before you met me. I was new to this town! I was a nobody here! No one knew me out here, Rev"

"I-" he went to say but I cut him off.

"You don't get to come into my life and take everything from me," I continued, "I don't care who are you. I don't care who you used to be, or who you want to become. I never wanted to be in your life in the first place." I let out a deep breath before looking into his eyes once more, "Did you seriously believe that I wanted this? Did you seriously think that this was the life I wanted for myself? I'm just some nobody who knew nobody else in this sucky town. I'm only here for my dad; that same man you decided to put a bullet in last night.. that same man who you wanted me to lie to so many times just to protect that stupid little whatever it is that you have that I didn't even sign up to be apart of in the first goddamn place."

"Lex. I said I was sorry."

I ignored his comment. "I understand that I should never say these things to anyone but," I spoke out, "I really do wish that you were dead."

"You don't mean that."

"I do." I said to him, "My life would have never gone this way if Ace was the one who shot you that day in the parking lot."

"You would have never even met Ace if it wasn't for me."

"I would have never done a lot of things if it wasn't for you."

He took a step closer, trying to place his hand on my waist but I pulled away. "You love this." He said, ignoring my latest action and placing his hand on my waist yet again.

"Why did you lie to me?" I asked him. The phone I was holding in my hand was just as big as the size of my head as I held it against my ear, while sat on the other side of the glass sat Tex who's own phone looked just a bit smaller than his own head. Daddy had been standing in the far back with a couple police officers watching from afar to to make sure nothing was to be said out of the ordinary during our short conversation.

"I didn't lie to you, honey." He smirked.

"You told me you were Tyler, not Text." I tried to put emphasis on the name Tex to try and sound as if I meant business, but his only response was a lighthearted chuckle.

"Maybe I did say one little lie."

"You told me you were my best friend," I felt a tear glide down my cheek, "I thought that I was able to trust you."

"The game we played together was pretty fun, wasn't it?"

"Daddy told me that you only used me for your own sick actions. The police officers said you only saw me as a target for your own selfish good. They didn't even want me to come today, but I just wanted to know why you would lie to me.. after everything."

"You enjoyed it, Alexis." He ignored my last statement, "Stop lying to yourself."

"You scared me!" I caught the attention of a police officer, who came over and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Is he saying anything to you?" The cop asked and I shook my head no. Tex's smirk disappeared as he covered his mouth to speak the following words into the speaker; "Stop lying to yourself and just admit that you loved it, Alexis."

I pulled his hand off my waist, "Rev, stop it."

"Where did this come from?" He brushed a strand of hair out of my face before interlocking his fingers in with mine.

"You." I said to him, "You caused this. All of this. It was all because of you."

"I'm flattered," He went to push some hair behind my ear but I pushed his hand away, "You're the one who is always coming back to us."

"You're the one who always manages to seek me out."

"Why don't you put all the energy you use to argue with me towards fighting against letting me take you out?" He asked. He locked his eyes on mine and I couldn't get myself to look away. "Stop lying to yourself and just admit that you love this, Lex." His words came out so nonchalant; the same way they did when Tex spoke those same words to me years prior.

"Stop."

"What?"

The words kept playing over and over again through my mind, switching back and forth from Tex's voice to Rev's. "Stop." I spoke out loud, "Just stop." I felt my legs give in as I fell to the ground, my hands coming up to cover my ears. "Stop it!" I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and I moved back before looking to see who it was, "I told you to leave me alone."

"I'm not going to leave you alone."

I looked over to see Rev crouching down next to me. He had rested his hand on my shoulder and for once, I actually saw kindness in his eyes. "What are you doing?"

"What are you doing?" He repeated back to me.

"Nothing." I quickly sat myself back up, "I didn't do anything."

"Who were you taking to before?"

"You." I lied.

"Who hurt you?" He asked me.

"Why do you care? Are you seriously jealous that you weren't the first person to actually hurt me?"

"I'm not as cold hearted as I seem, Lex. I also know how to show a person I care about their problems as well."

"That's a bit hard to believe."

"I understand a bit of what just happened," He said to me, "but I just don't understand who would cause you to do that to yourself."

"Just some guy where I lived before." What did I think I was doing? I cannot trust Rev. He'll just use it against me the next time I don't want to give into his little games.. or worse.. he'll tell Ace exactly what I said to him the next time they meet up.

"Michael?" He asked immediately.

"What? No! Michael's a friend." I answered quickly. Michael couldn't even hurt a single fly, let alone do something as bad as Tex. "It was an old family friend." That wasn't really a lie. That is exactly what he told me when we first met, even if it was a lie to get closer to me.

"If I told you my story," he asked, "would you feel more comfortable sharing yours?"

"No." That wasn't even a lie. I'm not telling him this. No. Never. "It's not that big a deal." I tried to brush it past us, but even I could tell Rev wasn't just about to let this go."

"You fell to the ground screaming out for some invisible person to stop," He stated, "That wasn't nothing. Something happened and I just-"

"Shut up."

"What?"

"You never gave two shits about me. Don't you dare try and tell me that you do because I know you never did. You only wanted me to join your stupid little circle for god knows what, even when I clearly never officially wanted to.. and you still won't even tell me what the hell kind of group it is in the first place. You could be trying to take me on murder missions all the damn time to frame me and I wouldn't even know because you never tell me anything. Right now is the prime example of that. Where are we right now? Why are we even here? Why were you so set on me missing school today just so I could hang out with you.. and why did you just automatically assume that I'd be down to do so?" I had started blabbing out random sentences that had been sitting in the back of my mind since the very first time we met, but I didn't let that stop me from speaking out.

"You never seemed to mind when you decided to just tag alone. I thought we discussed this before."

"I'm never going to stop bringing this up for discussion until you get those facts into your head."

"Alrighty then. I'll just get prepared to hear it a lot, then." He let off a chuckle.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"nothing."

"No," I tugged at the back of his shirt to get him to turn bac around, "Don't you dare think about leaving me with no answers. What did you mean by that?"

"I meant exactly what I had said."

"Are you saying that you'll never stop pushing me to go to places like this."

"That's exactly what I'm saying, Lex!" He raised his voice, giving me quite a scare. I don't think I've ever seen Rev get like this when he wasn't speaking to Ace, but I didn't let him see how he was getting to me.

"Why?" I found myself asking, "Why me? Out of anyone you could've found in this town, why did you choose me?"

"You were special."

"How?"

"So you can ask questions, but when I started to show that I cared earlier.. I was the bad guy?"

"I'm asking you questions because you're talking to me!" Why was I even bothering with this? It's not like he's going to answer what I wanted to know anyway. "You know what," I said, "forget it."

"Forget it?" He asked, "You change your mind fast."

"You wouldn't tell me anyway."

"I might've."

"Really?"

"Maybe."

"Answer me, then."

"You said to forget it."

"Exactly."

"If you want to know the answer so bad, just go ask Ace for God's sake."

"What's that supposed to mean?" We had been arguing back and forth so much that I hadn't realized just how close his body was standing next to mine. I wanted to step away but I couldn't find myself to follow through. "Did Ace tell you to find me?" I asked him. He stayed silent. Instead, I found his eyes locking with mine and for once I actually got to see what was hiding behind the evil glare I always assumed he had plastered across his face. "Rev-" I went to say when he slammed his finger against my lips.

"It's not wonder Ace wants to protect you." He whispered to me. I couldn't help but notice a smile crept across his face as those words fell off his tongue.

"You're scared me." I felt his hands push back a couple strands of hair while keeping his eyes locked onto mine. He started to lean in and, without even thinking about it, so did I. Something inside me felt as if I had been glued to the ground to prevent me from moving away, but I knew something was wrong as soon as our lips crashed. I didn't want to pull myself away, but I also didn't want to continue with the act. My body and mind were definitely on two different pages in this moment. My hands moved up to the back of his head as my fingers ran themselves through his hair. It wasn't until I felt his hands guide themselves down to my hips that I was able to snap myself back into reality.

"Stop." I turned away from his embrace, "We cannot do this."

"You didn't seem to be complaining."

"I like Ace." I know I've been trying to hide away my feelings from Rev, but I didn't know how else to explain why I stopped, "I really can't do this."

"I thought you hated Ace."

"People lie. You, out of all people, should understand that." I said, "Not to mention, even you have said that I belong to Ace." I cringed at the way I spoke those words. No person should be belonging to any other person Humans are people, not possessions.

"Why are you such a bitch?" His usual tone was back.

"I'm the bitch?" As usual, I ignored his tone of voice, "How am I being a bitch?"

"You're such a cocktease."

"Let's not forget that you were the one who kissed me first!" I shouted at him, "Do I need to inform Ace about this little incident? Do I need to tell Ace about everything that has ever happened between us?"

"Ace knows everything that he needs to know."

"So you're going to let him know about what just happened between us, right?" I asked him, "You're going to tell him about how you had me skip school just to take me to some random field where we ended up kissing? I bet Ace never finds out the full story about what happens in your life. Does he even know what really happened between you and my dad, or did you just create some little sob story to make yourself look like the victim? I bet you-"

He cocked his gun against the side of my head, "You want to continue talking, bitch?"

"You'll never do it." It was moments like these where I should probably just stop talking, but I already saw the worst side of him.. so what did I really have to lose? Also, he'd never actually shoot me. Not unless he wanted Ace to stop being on his side.

"You do remember who I am, right?" The cold metal of the gun was still pressed up against my temple, "Or did those memories of both Ace and your dad just escape your mind?"

"Ace would really allow for you to shoot me?"

He didn't answer. I looked out to the side to notice how he had been holding the gun. His hand was shaking and he had wrapped his hand around the handle, but never place a finger on the trigger.

"Shoot me." My words scared me, but I stood my ground to show him that I wasn't scared.

"What?"

"You have the gun," I shifted my eyes towards the gun before looking back at him, "You're right. I do know you. I know that if you truly did want to hurt someone, you pull the trigger. No hesitation."

"What makes you think I'd pull the trigger?"

"You're angry, right? You cannot help yourself when you pull out the gun, right?" I reached over to grab the gun, "You can't help getting mad over the tiniest of reasons You shoot at whatever, or whoever, for whatever reason." As soon as I managed to wrap my hands around the handle of the gun, I pulled it from his grip and pointed it back on him, "You tend to get so angry that you cannot seem to control the aftermath."

"Lex." He went to reach towards the gun but I put my finger on the trigger.

"That's the thing with guns," I told him, "in order to use them against a person.. you actually have to put your finger on the trigger. Unless, of course, you weren't planning on using it in the first place."

"You don't want to do this." He put his hands up in defense.

"Why not?" I asked him, "Why wouldn't I want to do this?"

"This isn't you."

"Apparently, it is."

"No." He said back to me, "It's not."

"I shot that horse yesterday with no problem," I replied, "I barely reacted when both you and Ace started fighting in the parking lot just days before. I listened to Ace when he told me not to go to a hospital.. even when I knew deep down that he should have gone. I let my dad come closer to you when you held a gun on us. Rev. This is me." I tried to hold back the tears as I kept the gun pointed at Rev's chest, "This is who I am now."

"This isn't you." He took a step forward, pushing the gun so that if pointed towards the ground before wrapping his fingers around mine and locking his eyes on mine, "You are nowhere near that kind of person."

"Who am I, then?" I asked him, "Why am I allowing myself to act this way?" I felt my hand ungrip the gun as I fell to the ground.

I watched the gun smack against the plains as Rev kneeled down, focusing on just me, "Do you still want to know why I knew it was you that I wanted?"

"I thought I had to ask Ace."

"You're pure."

"I'm what?"

"Every single person in the circle aren't afraid to kill anything that moves but you.. you would rather use your words than go in for the kill." He explained to me, "You are the final key."

"I shot that horse. I used a gun yesterday without hesitation. I'm not the final key."

"We have all made mistakes. Trust me. Every single person in the circle have made several mistakes. You've seen the things Ace has done. You are the final key. Otherwise, why would you even be here right now?"

"If you think I'm so pure, you seriously do not know me at all." I told him, "You have the wrong girl."

"I'm pretty sure I don't."

"I'm pretty sure you do." I looked up at him. It was weird for me to tell myself how weird it was for me to see him look so vulnerable, after how many times he's done it lately, but this still felt weird. One minute he's yelling out of anger, but the next he's sitting next to me trying to explain things to me. I had to tell him. I didn't want to, but I had no choice. He had to know the truth. "I'm just the newbie in town who watched her own mother get killed.. who have been raped by some piece of shit weeks after.. and gets every second of those memories replayed over and over again in my mind for the entirety of my life." I felt my cheeks grow hot as I exposed that side of me to him, "I am nowhere near purity and I am pretty sure if I pointed a gun up towards the asshole who took everything from me.. I wouldn't hesitate to blow his fucking brains out."

"You really think you aren't pure because of that?" He chuckled.

I sighed, "You still trying to believe that I'm pure?"

"I never had any doubt."

I was going nowhere with this. "Say I am," I told him, "What did you want with me?"

"You'll find out Saturday." He stood up, holding his hand out to me, "Let's forget about this outing. I have somewhere else you'd much rather be anyway."