Digital Paradise

Silty rain washes down your window. Lights flicker. Rattle. A nearby monorail passes on squealing joints. A flood is likely. The East drowns. The West is bone dry almost like The Grapes of Wrath in reverse. Don’t get me started on politics. Schools, gay bars, and churches are blood baths and bullet smoke vigils. The right-wings foster single-minded conspiracies and rig elections from the bottom up, and the left-wings chant equality but sip martinis and turn down bills that will shrink their estates. Sounds like someone needs an escape. Sounds like someone needs Digital Paradise™.

Slip on your goggles. Slip on your gloves. Immerse. It has been [17 hours] since your last login. Want an ad-free experience? Subscribe at premium tier for $19.99/month. Save $59 with our annual pass. Try the first month of premium free (first-time subscribers only)! Leave your burdens in your [two room, 700 sqft., apartment] and continue into a universal dream.

30 second Ad before joining Digital Paradise™:

“Start this new year making your resolution a reality. Rock Hard Fitness is dropping their enrollment fee for this week only. No matter your body type, start at just $9.99/month, our fitness program will get you shredded. Ladies won’t resist your Rock Hard abs. Get Rock Hard and make this year your best year yet. Swipe at the link to get jacked.”

We’ll start you in a solitary room. Breathe in. There are three doors. Entertainment. Zen. Explore. Each one offers its own level of paradise.

Within Explore you can see the world you’ve never traveled. Take a 3D rendered tour of Egypt’s pyramids, the Great Wall of China, or the African Safari. You can even summit Everest! Want to sit in Mark Rober’s virtual classroom? $1.50 gets you ahead in the waiting line. Catch a cartoonish tour through Kurzgesagt’s theoretic space show. Want to see the inside of an Atom? How about standing in the trenches of World War I. Explore science, history, earth, and space. You can even cross the rendered landscapes of Arrakis and outsmart sand worms. There’s no limits! Online degrees are available as well through Explore Academy.

Take a look at Zen. It’s exactly what it is. Meditate with the monks in Kathmandu. Create your own Japanese Zen garden. Explore in solidarity the granite cliffs of Yosemite. Sleep to the savory sounds of trickling brooks or purifying rains. Wash away with the ocean. Breathe the salty air (order your aroma diffuser now at $34.99, premium tier members get free shipping).

And finally, our most popular, Entertainment. Dive into our open world gaming and media archives. Check out our puzzles and classic gaming apps or our Digital Paradise originals. Play the high caliber FPS Soldier’s Quarry™, the relaxing farming and island retreat of Island Culinary™, or our award winning, free-to-play RPG Dragon Cliffs Ascension™ (in-app purchases). Choose your character and fight fantastical monsters and defeat evil demons to gain legendary loot. Be the hero of the realm. Don’t forget our running special to unlock weapons, collectibles, tools, 10 epic treasure chest Wrynn Keys, and exclusive skins at just $24.99 per package (Normally a $39.99 value)! Digital Paradise™ Entertainment is enormous! View videos with your friends, link your favorite streaming service and close out the outside world in our virtual theaters. Sign on with our entertainment package and enjoy movie theater quality releases in our virtual venues ($9.99 per month add on). Don’t forget our regular monthly virtual music concerts made fully immersive with our sound canceling Paradise Rhythm headphones ($99.99, premium tier members get free shipping and 20% off). Entertainment of all varieties available for all ages!

Now you’re ready! Open a door and enter your Digital Paradise™: You in?

30 second Ad before entering Entertainment:

“Oh, honey! Are you using soap as hard as sandpaper? If you want me close, so close, try this…” Yukon Cleanser™. Gives you the manliest soft but wild smelling skin? No harsh chemicals like all those other soaps. Using those makes your skin as coarse and appealing as a molting spider. “Ew! Yeah, let’s go with Yukon Cleanser™!” You’ll sweep her away with smooth skin smelling of the wilderness frontiers. Plus, our bottles are made of top grade ocean bound plastic. We’re helping nature, too. Sign up for a subscription and you’ll get a manly-fresh bottle each month. Yukon Cleanser™, embrace your wilderness. “Now, go take a shower, honey. I’ll even help you.” Swipe the link and get 50% off on your first month.

Welcome to Entertainment. Please explore and select your quality entertainment.

[...]

You found our Digital Paradise™: Pleasure Dome™ Extension. You must be 18 or older to enter–swipe to confirm. Connecting to your personal information, this won’t be shared with any other parties, only meant to verify your age and location.

[...]

Welcome to the Pleasure Dome™, where all your dreams and wild imaginations come true. First 15 minutes are free. After that, $1.99/hour or $9.99/month unlimited. Do you accept? Excellent! Select your Pleasure Dome Partner.

Gender?

Race?

Hair color? Swipe down for other colors.

Hair Style?

Height?

Weight?

Glasses?

Outfit?

Unlock the Dream Companion package to make more modifications (starting at $4.99).

30 second Ad before entering Pleasure Dome™:

Our goal is to represent you in a fair and timely trial. If you’ve been in a recent divorce, calling Arnold and Wade Divorce Attorney will get you the best representation to make sure you’re not being cheated out of your money. “My ex-wife came down hard when we were processing Alimony. Arnold and Wade made sure she was held accountable. Without them, I would’ve been paying through the nose while she traveled around with her new partner.” Says one 5-star review. “My ex-wife made outlandish accusations about me abusing the kids. Arnold and Wade got right to business and discredited the claims.” Give us a call or swipe to the link to get your free consultation as a special guest on Digital Paradise™. Add in the code: ParadiseRemediation to redeem!

You have successfully created your Pleasure Dome™ virtual partner. [She] will make sure you get everything you need. Are you ready to explore? Anything goes here, you can explore our available dome spaces or download custom packages. Remember, live chat partners can be made available, premium tier unlocks a discount for an additional $5/hour, that’s a killer deal compared to the normal $29.99/hour! Swipe now to see our subscription options for Digital Paradise™.

You’ve chosen the Chocolate House™. This house is both games and intimate fun. There are three floors of sweet indulgence: White, Milk, or Dark Chocolate.

Welcome to Dark Chocolate. Bold. The more you play the more sweet rewards you unlock, both for you and your virtual partner.

Here’s a bonus toy for your day-8 log in.

Have some extra chocolate chunks for starting out. Turn them in for extra goodies.

Want to spin the sweet and savory wheel? You just might get a golden ticket. Buy the unlimited subscription pass ($9.99/month) you get three spins every log-in.

Watch an Ad for another free spin?

Follow your Pleasure Dome™ virtual partner into Dark Chocolate.

[...]

Your complimentary 15 minutes is over. Continue for $1.99?

Would you like a live chat partner? An additional $17.99. That’s 40% off!

30 second Ad before continuing in the Dark Chocolate House™:

Only 2% of most people can complete this puzzle!. See if you can find all the words in Zenways Wordcross Wordsearch… 98% of people can’t do it. [...] Great job! Swipe to download into the Zen Halls of Digital Paradise™ (Free with In-app Purchases).

[...]

Are you sure you’d like to exit the Chocolate House?

Is there another activity you’d like to do with your Pleasure Dome™ virtual partner?

You still have [12 minutes] remaining on your current hour purchase. Are you sure you'd like to exit the Pleasure Dome™? Yes? [She]’ll be waiting here for you when you return, remember you can always modify [her] and increase options by unlocking the Dream Companion package at any time to make more modifications (starting at $4.99).

Welcome back to Digital Paradise™: Entertainment. What would you like to do next? Movies? Music? Games? Sports? Challenges?

Games.

30 second Ad before entering games:

In this new year Digital Paradise™ has everything you need. While the world may be falling apart, Digital Paradise’s award winning Zen domain allows everyone to find balance, inner peace and mental health stimulation. Zen is recommended by top healthcare professionals and is considered the number one therapy-without-therapy. If you subscribe to our ad-free annual premium tier we’ll include free three month subscriptions for Brain Hope, SafeSpace Meditation, and Painting Paradise. That will save you up to $14.99 for three months. Swipe at the link to check out our subscription options.

You’ve selected Dragon Cliffs Ascension™ RPG.

Select your Dragon Cliffs Ascension™ avatar.

You’ve selected the Monk/Sorcerer level 73.

Welcome to the Ash Fields of Hornrath.

Claim your daily log-in reward.

You have your Day 41 log-in streak reward.

You have two Wrynn Key’s, open up the epic loot chests for amazing gear.

It’s the New Year’s Special. Unlock the special Dragon Cliff’s Ascension for $14.99. Includes three Wrynn Key’s and a guaranteed Legendary item.

Year of the Rabbit Chinese Special. Head to the Dynasty Caverns and face the Quinn Ying Dragon of Taranoth and claim your special Wrynn Key Rabbit Chest.

Don’t forget to check out this season’s battle chest challenges and multiplayer rewards.

Special deal on Sapphire Cliff Gems. 10,000 for $1.99.

[...]

30 second Ad before continuing in Dragon Cliffs Ascension™ PRG:

Do you know your body type? Take this quick 2 minute quiz and I can give you the best advice on how to improve your life, your body, and your confidence without doing any crazy diets or taking weird pills. [...] Nice! There’s nothing to be ashamed of, and I’ve got amazing advice on how you can, in weeks, have the exact body you’d like. Swipe the link, watch the video, and make the changes you want.

[...]

30 second Ad before continuing in Dragon Cliffs Ascension™ PRG:

“Oh, help me, before the train comes. Solve the puzzle to save me!” [...] “Oh, oh, you saved me from near death. Take me to your saloon and I’ll do anything, be anything for you.” Wyld West Puzzles. Conquer the west and obtain notoriety, fame, and wealth. (Free download in Digital Paradise™: Entertainment with in-app purchases. Download the extension package for Pleasure Dome™).

[...]

30 second Ad before continuing in Dragon Cliffs Ascension™ PRG:

“With tuition spiking, student loan rates unbearable, and cancel-culture shutting down collegiate rigor, I was running out of options. Digital Paradise: Explore Academy is a new upcoming way for me to study virtually and during the hours I need. Now I can study, work, and have time for my friends.” Digital Paradise: Explore Degrees. The perfect way to enhance your life without the expensive tuition or the in-person schedule restrictions. Premium Tier Subscribers waive application fees and get huge tuition discounts up to 40% off. Swipe the link to look at our program options and offer degrees and subscription options.

[...]

30 second Ad before continuing in Dragon Cliffs Ascension™ PRG:

I can’t let my girlfriend see the RPG I’m playing right now… she’ll dump me… you recruit an entire team of sexy anime fighters. Look at this, she’s a maid with a pink, flaming frypan! But it’ll blow the head off this gargoyle troll thing. And don’t let my girlfriend know I know this, but there’s a Pleasure Dome extension! Create an account now and unlock 3 rare girls with legendary powers and looks. Download Free (In-app purchases).

[...]

30 second Ad before continuing in Dragon Cliffs Ascension™ PRG:

Try our eco friendly single blade razor subscription package! SlickBLADE™ Fully recyclable metal blades and monthly packages with our sleek, shaving cream and aftershave that have you smelling like a real man. Follow the promo link for your first box free with an annual subscription.

[...]

30 second Ad before continuing in Dragon Cliffs Ascension™ PRG:

Universal Union™ is the best place to meet new people. Go ahead, swipe through and explore single women near or far. [...] Would you like to message one? Extension is available in Entertainment and Zen. Meet someone perfect for you? Transfer the package to the Pleasure Dome™. See you there?

[...]

30 second Ad before continuing in Dragon Cliffs Ascension™ PRG:

No one can solve this puzzle, can you? [...] Well done! Download Hazard Tangle™ Extension app (Free download, in-app purchases).

[...]

30 second Ad before continuing in Dragon Cliffs Ascension PRG:

This game will get you in trouble with your wife…

Leaving Entertainment. Your progress is saved as a Monk/Sorcerer Level 77. What would you like to…

Logging off Digital Paradise™. Total play time: [03 hours 29 minutes].

Thank you for using Digital Paradise™.

We hope to see you again soon.

#

Acid rain eats at the cinder walls. Lights off but for the glow of your screen. Silence. The soggy night sends rippling shadows of streetlights through your vinyl blinds. A flood warning is issued. Third hurricane this month. Politicians at it again with new wave tax bills threatening to oppress the poor and increase the wealth gap. Clutching down on business’ abilities to pay employees. All threatening another economic collapse. Sounds like someone needs an escape. Sounds like someone needs Digital Paradise™.

Slip on your goggles. Slip on your gloves. Immerse. Want an ad-free experience, subscribe at premium tier for $24.99/month. Save $59 with our annual pass. No? We see it’s been awhile: [06 months, 04 days]. Try the first month of premium free*! (*First time subscribers only). Looks like you forgot your login credentials. Reset your password and go ahead and leave your burdens in your [two room, 520 sqft., apartment]. Download the update patches and continue into a universal dream.

30 second Ad before joining Digital Paradise™:

“Last year, I had thoughts of suicide. I felt hopeless and out of place everywhere I went. Then I tried Brain Hope™. This wonderful service taught me how to look at life from a different perspective and understand how the chemicals in my brain can often be the cause of my chronic depression.” This intuitive interactive program walks you through the steps of controlling your anxiety, depression, anger, and even addictions. Whatever may be the case. In partnership with the Samuel Carlisle Mental Health Institution, we take people at their lowest and help them achieve peace and happiness. We even have an extension available in Digital Paradise™: Zen and more in depth dives into the neural and chemical highways of the brain in Digital Paradise™: Explore. For just $4.99/month you can see results in weeks. Sign up for Brain Hope™ now and try the first month for just $1.

Welcome to Entertainment. Please explore and find where you’d like to go.

[...]

You found our Digital Paradise™: Pleasure Dome™ Extension.