Diary of a Single Woman

October 29, 2021

Dear Diary,

I just realized in my last entry I didn’t add a date. How am I supposed to keep track of my thoughts if I don’t add dates? What a ding-dong, right? Well, with halloween coming, I suppose I’ll spin a tale of a halloween romantic adventure. What do you think? Especially since our spook season is still burden with a pandemic.

Halloween has always been special to me. I love dressing up and pretending to be someone (or something) that I’m not. I have been enjoying halloween ever since my first trick or treat escapade. That hooked me (the costume, not the candy). As time went on, in other words, as I began to age more and more, my treks turned from trick or treat to more adult adventures. One particular halloween, I met someone, but the evening didn’t quite go as I thought it would.

I had been invited to my best friend’s party. Yes, Maddi was hosting the party and had invited a few close friends of about 20 people to her house for a halloween party. Her property is quite large, especially if it can hold all 20 of us comfortably in the living room area, just to give you an idea of the size we are dealing with. In addition to her large living space, she has about an acre of yard to plant a garden and more. It is the type of space that you need a partner in order to invest in it.

It’s not that I’m jealous of Maddi, I mean, I was invited to her wedding (maid of honor to be honest), so of course I’m happy for her. However, she does like to flaunt her lavishing life in my face from time to time. This party was held the year she and David were bonded by the vows of matrimony, putting Maddi’s level of flaunting at 1000.

I was invited to her house warming party with 4 other friends and she gave us the grand tour.

“And this is the foyer. I’m so excited to be able to use all this space for cooking and more!” She exclaimed jubilantly while I made gagging faces when she wasn’t looking to entertain some of the other guests. I am

“And look at my kitchen! We have to have Thanksgiving here. Imagine all the goodies we would be able to make.” She walked around the island counter that had been situated in the middle of the kitchen. “Kathy, what do you think? Isn’t it wonderful?”

“Oh Maddi, I’m so happy for you and David. You know that. I can’t imagine a better group of people who deserve this.” I responded smiling. I was happy for them. They found each other and made it work.

“OMG, Maddi, you know what?” Suggested Tasha, who had also been with us on the guided ‘I gots money and you don’t.’ tour “We should have a Halloween party!”

Yep, this is what some 28 year olds think of when they have a large property with an estimate value of half a million dollars. Let’s throw a party! The positive in that was: halloween! I knew I was all in just hearing my favorite H-word.

“OMG, yes! That’s a great idea!” Maddi agreed with a radiant smile beaming from her face. Weeks later, we kicked off the party.

I donned on my favorite sexy cat costume (hand drawn whiskers, headband ears, and tail). When I arrived, I noticed Maddi’s guest list include Tasha, of course, and few other of our close friends. The other half of the partiers were her husband’s friends. The living room was set up halloween-y. Since the living room connected to the dining room area, there was a bowl of fruit punch on a table with exquisite halloween table cloth draped over it. It was actual black cloth with a cobweb design sewn on it, not the cheap plastic table cloth you pick up from Target or Walmart. I have no idea where you would even purchase something like that. Glass cups were stacked neatly near the punch bowl (yeah, glass, not plastic. It’s that type of party). The food was catered and professionally done. Maddi and her husband had spared no expense in having the meal prepared. Honestly speaking, it’s not what I had in mind. I was looking forward to a more potluck style of party. Even the desserts were more ‘adultly’ made. Aside from people dressing up, Maddi created a playlist geared towards the theme of the evening. In other words, every monster, spooky, halloween themed song she could find. I had to admit, her song selection brought a more homely feel for me than the food.

As the evening progressed and games came to the end, the party started to unwind with more and more slow songs filling our ears. I was ready to help clean up when in the corner of my eye I could see one of the male guests who was dressed up as a zombified businessman slowly making his way towards me. I quickly tried to remember his name. It started with a -

“Hey there, kitty” he said as he approached me, “You probably don’t remember my name, right?” Whoa, direct hit!

“Is it that obviously. Sorry, I’ve never really been great with names. I bet you don’t even remember mine,” I replied, trying to keep my cool.

“Kathy,” he chortled softly. Hm, a guy with a decent brain, not bad.

“Ok, you got me. I really do apologize for not knowing,” I added while I started cleaning the area around me, a clear sign of my nervousness.

“It’s ok. There are quite a few people here and we didn’t really talk that much. The name’s Jay,” he smiled, holding out his hand for a handshake.

“Jay, Jay-bird J-walking to jazz music,” I muttered, quietly. Well, I thought I was muttering it quietly.

“Oh, I see you’re making an effort to remember my name,” Jay interrupted. Damn nemonic devices.

I could feel the blush emitting from my face like a furnace in the dead of winter heating up the house. Why did I have to say that out loud? Rookie mistake, I know.

“Yeah, well, I do that with everyone I meet. It really does help with remembering names. For example, when I met Maddi for the first time, I thought of Madison from “Splash” because her actual name is Madison. So, don’t read too much into what I just did,” attempting to cover up my embarrassing moment.

Jay put on a confused smiled. “Don’t worry about it. I know what you mean. Listen, I hear you can see a lot of stars from the back porch. Would you be interested in some stargazing this evening since the party is winding down?” He invited.

Admittedly, I’m somewhat of a nerdy science girl, so I figured it would be a perfect opportunity to see how many constellations I could view from the back porch. Normally, there aren’t many visual constellations where I reside in the city. Damn city lights. When I went on camping trips, I marveled at how many stars and constellations were visible to the naked eye. I doubt I would be able to see that much from the back porch, but it was still worth going to see.

We headed to the back porch and it was just have the two of us. I glanced up to the celestial body, waiting for her to show off her beauty. Truthfully, there were more stars in the night sky than I had expected. I was able to see my favorite Cassioppeia, which is usually difficult to find in the city. I also spotted the two dippers (Ursa Major and Ursa minor) along with a few others.

“See,” Jay whispered, “how beautiful is this?”

“I love it! There are just so many to see,” I acknowledged.

I continued to point out the different constellations to Jay. He stood near me, listening to my every word. He seemed like an eager student, waiting to learn more about Astronomy. I was pointing to Orion and began Orion’s story when Jay gently put his large masculine hand around mine. I wasn’t really feeling any romance towards him, but since he seems like a nice gentleman, I didn’t really think too much about the hand holding. That is, until…

“You know what’s more beautiful than the stars?” He softly blurted out. There was a moment of awkward silence (at least on my part) and then he added, “you.”

Wow. That was the best line he could come up with? Seriously? Talk about corny. That’s when I realized that Jay wasn’t interested in stargazing, he was interested in something more physical. My stomach began to squirm with uneasiness. I’m pretty sure my sweat glands kicked into overdrive because I could feel a river forming between our hands. I swung my head to the right, where Jay was standing, and simultaneously meet his lips on mine! As if in a jerk reaction, I released his hand and slapped him in the face off of pure instinctive defense. I felt horrible right after too.

Jay literally spun around in a complete 180 before he crashed into the railing of the back porch.

“Oh my god! Jay, I am so sorry!” I really don’t know why I did it. Jay was confused. Apparently, he had never been hit while making an advance on a woman before.

“What the fuck, Kathy?” He said, stood back up holding his cheek.

“I’m so sorry,” I repeated.

“Shit, it was just a kiss,” he added as he started to walk away. “I’m sorry I bothered to even bring you out here.”

I know it was just kiss. It’s not that I didn’t trust Jay, I just didn’t feel the same as he did, I guess. I have been kissed before. I have been on a romantic date in the past. Just something didn’t feel quite right being with Jay. I’m not even sure he would understand how I felt about that moment if I even tried to explain it. Was it worth a slap? I’m still not sure.

I shortly left the party after slapping Jay, but word had already start making its way through the masses, and not in a positive manner. By the time I had returned to my home, Maddi had already texted me.

Maddi: You slapped him?!

Me: Yeah.

Maddi: wth? Y?

Me: He tried to kiss me, I guess.

Maddi: U’ve been kissed before, so…

Me: I know, it doesn’t make sense.

Maddi: I don’t get y u did that.

Maddi: sometimes, I just don’t get u.

Two years ago, I didn’t get it either. I still don’t. What was I thinking? Truthfully speaking, and you will never hear me say this in front of my friends, but I am still inexperience in physical relationships. Sure I have been on dates with men, but aside from playful flirting and occasional hand holding or kissing, it never really went beyond that. The difference with my past relationships and Jay, I had gotten to know the person I was dating longer than just a few minutes. Maybe that’s why I slapped him. It’s definitely worth exploring, but for a different entry.

Until my next entry, diary, Happy Halloween.