Destiny

　　Those wounds interspersed in the fate, and those difficult to say the tender, little by little in the heart degradation, into an inseparable love-hate relationship.

　　The face in the mirror is a little blurred, vaguely see the vicissitudes between the eyebrows, try a shallow smile, but found no different from those dusty women, enchanting red dress draped on the body, a small sky I held an oil-paper umbrella out of Jiangnan amorous rain lane.

　　The piano, chess, calligraphy, and painting are not my heart's desires, that is only a synonym for nobility, I want only disguise. I want to turn myself into the dream family as a fake young lady.

　　I met Meng Mu in the process of escaping, she said she was like seeing another self because we look almost identical faces.

　　She left me in the smoky Jiangnan alley. She said she could live just as well even without that brocade life, her cells began to split, and the split made her uneasy before she wanted to escape.

　　She said: Jingyu, I'm going to look for the poet, the poet is hidden in the deep forest, I would like to accompany him to the coarse tea.

　　I laughed, I do not know what kind of meaning this laugh carries. How could Mengmu understand the hard days in the mountains?

　　I closed my eyes, my mind recalled Mengmu's oil paper umbrella and then heard the sound of rain.

　　In the small courtyard in Jiangnan, the woman is soft and charming, and the man is gentle. I don't know what kind of poet Mengmu was called, but I'm content to have that around me.

　　I still piano, chess, calligraphy and painting, smoke and rain pavilion.

　　The water of Jiangnan is calm and gentle, I have more than once squatted on the small stone bridge outside the gate of the dream home, to see the prosperity fall, the water flowing. It is as gentle as the Jiangnan woman, with no sound, leaving only a pulse of tenderness. I like small bridges, flowing water, and oil paper umbrellas.

　　The mother said that since I came back from the trip I became sentimental, how she knew that her real daughter had long since gone to the ends of the earth.

　　This brocade let me stay, I touch the clothing gorgeous texture, and tasted the sweetness of jelly, I can not bear to let go, only to disguise myself better.

　　I like to write articles but can not practice good words, those broken words are remnants, just like my life, sometimes high, sometimes confused.

　　A million hate and hate the extreme at the end of the world. The mountain moon does not know what is in my heart, and the water wind is empty of flowers in front of me, swaying blue clouds.

　　After freshening up, I leaned alone on the river watch tower. A thousand sails are all gone, the slanting sunlight is pulsating and the water is long, my intestines are broken on the white flat island.

　　At this moment, I feel like a grieving woman, dancing with tears in the blue and flat river watch tower.

　　The hazy thoughts of the damp earth, the scented flowers, the green grass, and the clear blue sea and sky that is different from the season of Jiangnan's smoke and rain. The main thing is that there is a shadow, bright and fading, like the fire of a star. It is small, but it is enough to burn as long as it wants.

　　If thoughts can travel through space and pierce the air to let each other know, is this the so-called "heart to heart"?

　　Too many foolish thoughts accompanied me one dreamy night after another. When I woke up, the red candle tent, the wind rose at first, freezing my heart cold.

　　When Yu Wen knocked on the door and saw my panicked appearance, she was so frightened that she knocked the basin out of her hand. The water spilled all over the floor, the damp cold air approached me, the sunlight fell in through the carved window, fell in my eyes, full of vicissitudes. The rain said that the family had guests, and the master and lady asked her to wait for me to dress up.

　　The fragrance of flowers, along with the morning dew, poured into my nostrils, and I was delighted. On the way, Yu Wen told me that the person who came today was a gentleman, a good friend of my father many years ago.

　　In the front yard, the intermittent sound of xiao came ethereal and clear singing.

　　He stood at the end of the season, poised. I barged in with a full heart, only for him to drift once.

　　Father said. Twilight, this is Mr. Shiloh, from now on is your teacher.

　　I looked up and met his clear eyes, a hint of teasing on his handsome face. He said, "Meng Mu, you are as beautiful as flowing water, quiet and generous, quiet as sandalwood.

　　I smiled, watching his smile bloom like the seasons. He said that he likes summer and likes summer flowers.

　Since then, I no longer have to go to the pavilion to study, I do not have to escape from those who make me a bad taste, and do not have to see the beauty of those women one after the other. The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you want to do.

　　The memory drifted across the ocean, even though the people around how talented, it is difficult to enter my heart, I was flooded with inner obsession, pain, and crying. In fact, how can not understand their father's intentions, if Meng Mu is late to go, perhaps her so-called poet will not have to personally run to the deep woods to find, look at the ink in this such as walking out of the Wener man, suave, valiant, is how many women's hearts aspire to? And I Jin Yu is just a substitute.

　　Lost for a long time warmth finally found in the dream home, loving mother's gentle, loving father's teaching, always make me one after another helpless rainy night someone to accompany, abandon my panic, let the heart dock in a warm harbor.

　　Mother said. Twilight, you know more than before, but how did you become so timid, afraid to sleep alone on the night of a thunderstorm? You used to love this kind of weather, didn't you?

　　I had a hot pain in my heart, she began to see the end, and I panicked to cover up.

　　Mr. Shiloh is like walking out of a painting, he stood in my small courtyard into a poetic chapter of its own, no need to describe any sentence at all, as long as a closed eye can be understood by heart, what he showed is a mood, with words to describe rather tedious.

　　I passed by him with a small square handkerchief, inwardly apprehensive to face, I was afraid of his probing eyes. He said, "Twilight, let's go to the town today to learn how to paint, shall we?

　　The cold wind stirred up some sorrow, a little heart.

　　The lake rafting, looking at the two banks of the willow green, I turned my head back inadvertently to his focused eyebrows. He said he felt at the moment "Tang wind remains, Song water is still, smoke and rain Jiangnan, jasper Zhouzhuang. The mood shown, look at the two sides of the bustling crowd, listen to the silk and bamboo pleasant, taste tea and dessert, and watch the humanities and history. The prosperity has a sound, the scenery is silent.

　　I concealed my inner amazement and lightly returned: this is the place where I have lived since I was a child, and I am used to seeing more.

　　Only to see him smile, then spread out the rice paper, take out the brush, swept up his sleeves, and began to paint, I was still looking at him with fascination at the action, but his dreamy voice came to my ears, he said. Twilight, you are as soft as water in this Zhouzhuang.

　　There is wind with moisture in my eyes, I felt all things in that moment freeze, time backward for a minute, and then fly forward, I can not catch the beat of time, in the dictionary to try to search for the synonym of this feeling. But I forgot, I forgot how to tell, I forgot how to accept, because I am Jin Yu, not Meng Mu.

　　All the beautiful terms are reserved for Mengmu, and I am only temporarily helping her to collect them. I always believed that identity is different, and love will be high and low.

　　Just don't want to admit what I aspire to inside, I still aspire to the beautiful legend of talented people, hoping to share the pain and suffering with the person of my choice. However, in the mountainous and deserted village where I live, where the mountain villagers, can not write poetry, and can not paint, I just do not understand why that side of the landscape breeds my spirit of me. I just can't help but wonder why the landscape has given birth to a spiritual me. It's what made me want to break free and run.

　　I smiled faintly when I looked back, and I said I had overpaid, Mr. Charlotte.

　　His sudden bleak look still fell in my eyes, with this realistic landscape painting in front of me, I suddenly thought of the sorrow in the rainy lanes of Jiangnan.

　　He stopped talking, and I watched him concentrate on his painting from the side.

　　I had to admit that his painting skills were so refined that I couldn't tell the difference between the painting and the feeling of the painting, and he carved my eyebrows and eyes so precisely, with an enchanting and magnificent realm behind my emotional face, and a gentle landscape painting on the side. The painting is beautiful and beautiful in a static way. I couldn't help but touch the woman's slightly sorrowful eyebrows in the painting, is this me?

　　The wind blew over at the wrong time, blowing my hair away, revealing the red vermilion.

Small bridges, flowing water, and the softness of the woman in Jiangnan, all the beautiful things are reminding me that I do not belong here, Meng Mu will still come back, and I must leave.

But I never thought Meng Mu would come back so soon.

　　February willow in the wind whispering, that is what kind of past to brew the heartbreak? I saw Mengmu standing in the sunlight smiling at me, her left hand held by the person I had been thinking about. The man I had always thought of as a village boy in the mountains, how could he have gotten Meng Mu's green tread? Wasn't she looking for a poet? How is it possible?

　　He stood in the wind and laughed, draining my only remaining soul.

　　That year, the violet blossoms and the memory is white.

　　In those days when there was no desire, Sang Zi Ru accompanied me to see the flowers, the sky, and also the world. We crossed the clear stream and he made up garlands of flowers for my cauliflowers. He said I must be a fairy when I grow up. And I squatted by the creek to see the face reflected in the stream, but a bewitching sickly, lifeless.

　　We are in a village, his father is the village head here, I grew up losing my parents to live in his house. There, everyone treated me like a stranger, except for Ziru.

　　I remember that my next-door neighbor wanted to call me Erniang, and the little Yueyue on the left side of my house wanted to call me sister, and my mother told me on her way out that they were all my family, and now I just existed like air.

　　Powerful rebellion fueled in my heart, this restless worldly heart of mine.

　　Sang Zi Ru told me stories about Jiangnan since I was a child, and he said. Jin Yu, if you were born in Jiangnan, you must have a face like a peach blossom, clear and beautiful. I often hide in the shadow of the mountain to read, then Ziru will accompany me with grass lying on the ground to look at the sky, look at me, and look at the mountain. Ziru's books are many and cover a wide range. There are legends, geography, humanities, poems, and songs. And he never read, he said he likes to be free and easy.

　　The women in the legends are as beautiful as heaven, and I look forward to having met the poet's dialogue, so that love can exist substantially, painted with a pen, written with a pen, and expressed in verse.

　　Then I pestered Zi Ru every day to tell me about Jiangnan, even though he did not read as many books as I did, but from his mouth how Jiangnan made me yearn, Jiangnan Zhouzhuang, like a dream.

　　It was a humid morning, and a woman who said she came from Jiangnan broke into the small village.

　　She was wearing peach in cheongsam, her hair was fixed with a hairpin, and when I got closer, I had a pretty face. Ziru took my hand back to his house and saw the beauty standing in the courtyard and whispered in my ear, he said, that woman is as beautiful as a fairy, but not as good as Jin Yu, she is too flashy. I laughed, laughed like the dry grass in the wind.

　　The woman was cheerful, she smiled and said to us that her name was Mengmu and she came from Jiangnan. I looked at her smile, like the spring breeze in February, with a little kindness.

　　She said. Jin Yu, we are so alike.

　　I looked at her like a touch out of a painting, and a powerful sadness piled up inside. She was like a little bird singing around me all the time, and she said she loved this place as much as her blood was raging.

　　Sang Ziru beside Mengmu said I like Jiangnan, she told me many more vivid stories of Jiangnan than Ziru said, she said her family is in Zhouzhuang, a famous and big family in Zhouzhuang.

　　On that cold and windy night, Meng Mu knocked on the door of my room, I saw the oil paper umbrella she was holding in her hand, her eyes were incomparably stunning, and I envied all that she had, and I came from a poor background.

　　She said let me go home for her, oil paper umbrella as a token between us.

　　The unknown dangers of the road ahead, how much sorrow and grievances floating with me?

　　Before leaving I saw Ziru want to say but still look, Mengmu stood by his side charming as a flower. Ziru's parents are still the same not Yin and not Yang. The left and right neighbors indifferently treat me like air, my sudden resentment is more convinced that I left, that dream-like existence tugged at my nerves, actually feeling there is my mission.

　　Mengniu said. In my place, live well. , and

　　During this spring season, I had a beautiful dream, and when I woke up, my heart was broken without a trace.

　　I'm Jin Yu, I no longer need to impersonate.

　　In the rainy lane of Jiangnan, I walked into an embroidery workshop where the embroiderer was graceful and dignified. She said that she only embroidered handkerchief patterns here, not rusty clothes. I smiled. What I liked were the handkerchiefs and the famous embroiderer in Zhouzhuang.

For more than ten days in a row, I hid in this embroidery workshop, learning all kinds of patterns from the embroiderer. The embroiderer said it was a pity that I looked so good.

　　When I came out of the embroidery workshop, I felt dizzy from the hustle and bustle around me. The embroiderer asked me to help her send a pattern to the Zhuang family so that they could see if they were satisfied. Looking at all the people on the street, I always felt that my dream was not yet finished, that there was something left to do, or that I was missing someone in my heart.

　　The sun is very strong today, walking a few steps I was full of sweat.

　　Around the corner, I saw Shiloh, who had a confused look on his face, as well as a slightly sad one. I was going to go around, about to merge into the sea of people, but was grabbed by the sudden force of the hand. Turn your head and meet his gentle eyes, with a hint of pain.

　　He said, "Jin Yu, how can you leave, I have searched for you so hard.

　　I was shocked, he knew I was Jin Yu and not Meng Mu, why did he still look for me?

　　He smiled, a smile as bright as summer. I like you, whether you are Jin Yu or Meng Mu.

　　That day, on a small bridge in the old town, I listened to Charlotte tell a story.

　　One night, twenty years ago, the Dream family's wife gave birth to twin daughters on a night when it was pouring rain. One of the girls had a strange appearance, no cry at birth, plus the sudden change in weather that day, it was considered a disaster by the Meng mother, so in Mrs. Meng's sleep will have the houseboy send her out quietly, and from then on, each in their fate.

　　Charlotte said. Mrs. Meng always thought she had only one daughter until she met me. She already knew that I was not Meng Mu, how could there be such a resemblance in the world? Mother and son are connected, how could she not know? Under careful interrogation, Master Meng informed the truth, and Meng Mu already knew that I was her twin sister.

　　It turns out that I was born in this place, this dream-like Jiangnan Zhouzhuang.

　　After growing up with a bitter polish, all the sufferings, hated people, and lilac-like sorrow was smoothed out by time, and at the moment of knowing the truth, I let go of all the past.

　　Charlotte stood in the wind, his eyes narrowed. He said. You have a surname, surnamed Meng, called Meng Jin Yu.