Deep In The Wooden Chest

It’s been almost a year now since Alex picked me up. I highly doubt she remembers where she put me. I’ve been tucked away inside her journal for safe keeping. It and I keep Alex’s secrets. Only now I’m somewhere they can never be told. I was her muse. We were supposed to add beauty into this world, instead, somehow, the darkness swallowed me up too. I know she still loves me because I was not placed carelessly about but safely inside her hand-crafted wooden chest… I’m buried at the bottom; underneath a pair of ripped jeans hardly worth saving let alone wearing and some old concert tickets almost completely faded. Some days I’m confident Alex will remember where she left me. I see a glimpse of light thru a hole of the jeans. I think, “She’ll pull me out for sure”. Nope, she’s just grabbing a sweater, nope she’s just grabbing a favorite tee. Today is not the day she wants her muse back. One day just not today. I lay there tucked away in her journal. I lie with all her hopes and dreams. The stories that have no ending. I lie quietly waiting for the chance to show the world how perfectly wonderful her words truly are…

I remember the day she put me away. I thought it was just for a little while, but I should’ve known. The energy that day was off. We used to cry together but that day she wanted to cry alone. It wasn’t like her at all. I should’ve known. Alex is a mom and the eldest daughter. She is also a wife and pretty good friend. The amount of pressure put on her is immeasurable. I could feel the weight of the world with every stroke. But I hold steady, I hold strong. Because only I could convey what she was really feeling. I couldn’t let her down. Yea the others were good, but I am the best. Well, was the best.

You see I was given to Alex as a gift by a former teacher. He said as long as she used me the magic, the flame inside of her and it(me) could never die. She is special and so am I. I was given to him by his father and his father before him. I had only belonged to men before. I loved them too. But Professor A.J. Guy didn’t have children let alone a son. So, he decided to give me to his best student in thirty years of teaching upon her graduation day. I was gifted to her in a beautiful velvet blue box. He made me promise I would help Alex on her journey, and he made her promise to never stop reaching for the stars. That was over ten years ago. And she never did until a year ago. It was always a word here or a word there. But she never gave up… until a year ago.

I wonder if I will still be beautiful when I finally get dug up from the bottom of the chest, nestled between the pages of Alex’s journal. I know, I know. It’s awfully vain of me but there is nothing else to do aside from count the days, so why not be a little vain? The story goes: a Swan plucked me from his wing giving me to Professor Guy’s great-great grandfather Sam. I was given to him as gratitude for saving his beloved from some rowdy children. Swans mate for life and she was more precious than gold to him. I love that story, so I keep quiet. Only I and Sam Guy know the truth. Sam was walking along the riverbanks of his town when he came across two swans “dancing” in the distance. He picked up a loose feather(me) from the ground to always remind him of the everyday beauty of the world. You ask me? That’s picture good truth as well. Sam took me home, cleaned me up and added the point. I’ve been writing ever since… until a year ago.

Oh Alex, how I wish you’d pick me up again and let our imaginations run wild. Telling stories about love, hate, life and death. Giants and mermaids, butterflies and eagles. I wish you would let me retell the day from your point of view. But I really wish you would tell me what happened. What I could possibly have done for you to take me off your desk in haste and place me carefully out of your sight in the bottom of the chest. I’ll wait forever if I must. I miss you, Alex. I hope you find me soon, Quill.