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Conversation Between House Walls

If only we could hear their concerns...

By Pam ReederPublished about a year ago β€’ 12 min read
6
Conversation Between House Walls
Photo by Klara Kulikova on Unsplash

"If walls could talk..." people glibbly say. Or is it posed, "if these walls could talk..." Yes, I do believe the latter is it.

Of course, in theory, the older the building the more it would have to say. And the more people that passed through it, the more stories it could tell. A Church for instance. Or Auswitch or the Alamo. But the walls of ordinary homes have things to say too.

*********************

Living Room Blue Accent Wall: "What's happening out there? Are they taking down the for-sale sign again? "

Kitchen Cabinet Wall: "What? Blue, did I hear you say the house is sold?"

Living Room Blue Accent Wall: "Kit, I didn't say it was sold - I asked if they were taking the for-sale sign down. I heard the realtor's car drive up and she got out but I didn't hear anyone talking. Then I heard hammering so I thought she might be taking down the sign."

Kitchen Cabinet Wall: "Oh. So, we could just be off the market again then."

Living Room Blue Accent Wall: "I guess that could be true. Bummer."

Living Room Fireplace Wall: "Y'all don't be so negative. We ain't so shabby that we won't sell. We'll get bought. Just keep the faith alright."

Kitchen Cabinet Wall: "Considering the first thing potential buyers see when they walk in is the carpet on Living Room Floor... I'm just saying...."

Living Room Floor: "Oh yeah, walk all over me and put the blame on me. It's not my fault I got covered with this snow-white shag carpet. I mean what the hell? Who does that? And that, that, WOMAN, had kids! And a dog!"

Living Room Blue Accent Wall: "I know right? I have a clear view of all the red drink stains, matted, ground-in kid snacks. Yuk! Oh, but let's not forget the discoloration from puppy piddle and poop. So much for a first impression. Supposedly she got a deal on that carpet. I think the store got the deal and she got took is what I think. By the time she realized she made a mistake, her money was gone and she couldn't afford to change it."

Living Room Floor: "Why in the heck didn't they shampoo me? I could look so much better if I was clean."

Kitchen Cabinet Wall: "Floor, you know how it is. Don't worry about it. Some flipper will come along and we'll get snapped up and renovated again. God knows what they will do with us next time, though. I used to be able to see the front yard before they installed Blue. Oh, and remember? When she first got here she was bright yellow!"

Living Room Floor: "Yeah, she was. And at that time I was covered in a wood parquet patterned sheet vinyl. I loved that look on me so much better than this ugly white shag carpet."

Living Room Blue Accent Wall: "I was really happy when I was yellow. Now I'm this odd, dull color of blue. Plus, I have nail holes, picture placement fades, scrapes where funiture rubbed me, dirty hand prints. Sigh. Lord only knows what color the new owner will paint me. I hope it's something pretty and bright."

Kitchen Cabinet Wall: "If they don't remove you altogether."

Living Room Blue Accent Wall: "WHAT!?"

Living Room Floor: "Well, he's not wrong. Open-concept floor plans are big again. So the new owner could decide to remove you. As a Floor, I'm mandatory. I get redone between carpet, sheet vinyl, ceramic tile, wood flooring... but I'll always be here. Now, walls. They can be optional."

Living Room Blue Accent Wall: "Oh, dear. I hadn't considered that. So I could be wasting my time dreaming about different paint colors or wallpaper designs. Damn it!"

Living Room Fireplace Wall: "How old is the house now? House Foundation, do you remember when this house was built?"

House Foundation: "Our original footprint was built in the 1930s. Then in the 1960s, the single-car garage was converted into the Living Room as you call yourself now."

Kitchen Cabinet Wall: "Yep, I remember all that. I was here from the beginning. I am a weight-bearing wall so there is no messing with me, thank goodness. The original living room was converted to a dining area complete with bay windows. Plus, I got a bar with an eating ledge built between me and the dining area."

Living Room Blue Accent Wall: "Hey, wait a minute. Kit, if I'm the wall between you and the Garage-gone-Living Room, wouldn't I be a weight-bearing wall like you? So, I wouldn't get removed. HA!"

Bathroom Walls: "What's all the ruckus? Ceiling, can you tell us what the devil is going on?"

Ceiling: "The front part of the house is buzzing about whether or not the House has sold. And they are fussing about who is more important and who might get taken out."

Bathroom Walls: "Taken out? Find out more information would you? The back part of the house gets left out of all the conversations. Grrr."

Ceiling: "Hey guys, the back part of the house wants to be included in the conversation."

Living Room Floor: "Oh, do they now. Well, here's something for them to think about. While we are up here worrying about first impressions, no matter how good we do, the back part of the house is going to ruin the efforts anyway. So, I don't even know why we bother."

Hallway Walls: "What on earth does that mean? The front part of the house is the part that gets changed up all the time. New paint. New wallpaper. New flooring."

Bathroom Walls: "Exactly! We've been the same since the 1930s! So, HA!"

Kitchen Cabinet Wall: "You nailed it when you shouted 'exactly,' Bathroom Walls. You shouldn't boast so pridefully that you've been the same since the 1930s. That just means you are horribly dated with your flesh pink and black tiling."

Bathroom Walls: "People like our tiles! It's part of our charm."

Living Room Floor: "Bathroom Walls, you do realize your tiles aren't still there because they're charming, don't you? Do you know how expensive a bathroom reno is? VERY expensive. Because we are a tiny house, the kind of people who will buy this house aren't going to be financially capable of springing for a major reno like a total bathroom update. There's a difference between being loved and being tolerated. Just saying."

Bathroom Walls: "So, that's how we're going to play this? Making the bathroom the bad guy because we are the only part of the house that has maintained our appearance and functionality? Righto! Well, the poor excuse for closets in the bedrooms are heavy contributors to our lack-luster market appeal."

Master Bedroom Walls: "How dare you! So what if our closets aren't spacious walk-in closets? Those are overrated. Giant closets just help hoarders hoard. We are functional-size closets to hold the wardrobe of the average person. Our closets aren't lavish but neither is this house as a whole. So, don't point your fingers at us!"

Secondary Bedroom Walls: "And we function as a multi-purpose room. We can serve as a child's bedroom. An office. An exercise room. A craft room. So, what's not to love about our room?"

Bathroom Walls: "I guess you have conveniently forgotten the time that one lady used you as a closet since you're right next to the primary bedroom and bathroom. So I rest my case about how important closets are! And by today's standards, you're so small you serve better as a closet than a bedroom."

Master Bedroom Walls: "Wait one minute! Who are you calling a "primary" bedroom? I'm the Master Bedroom buster!"

Kitchen Cabinet Walls: "Oh, come on. Catch up with the times. The 'master' bedroom phrase has become inappropriate and offensive. The real estate industry has retired it in favor of other terms like 'primary' or 'main'. I called you 'primary' because that's what I've heard the Realtor refer to you as."

Master Bedroom Walls: "Balderdash! I've been the Master Bedroom of this house since the 1930s. My name can't be changed just because someone decided they didn't like my name."

Living Room Floor: "Actually they can and they have. Get used to it. It doesn't hurt you and it eliminates the chances of insulting a potential buyer. We DO want to get bought you know. Otherwise, we will become derelict and get torn down. That's something none of us want. So, we all have to take a hit for the team however we can. I used to be a sunny driveway, then a covered patio, and now a living room floor. So, I have changed with the times and the needs of the owners. So suck it up buttercup. The Bedrooms in this house need to do their part as well. Especially since the only change you have really had to make was a name change or how they chose to use you. Sheesh!"

Master Bedroom Walls: "Wow. Just wow. We've always known the rest of the house thinks very little of our contributions to the whole layout. Now I guess we have it out in the open."

Living Room Fireplace Wall: "Here! Here! Good heavens! We're in an uproar having full-blown tizzies now, eh? What are we? A bunch of elementary school children? If we don't get it together and give off a good vibe when people walk through that door, we're not going to sell. And Living Room Floor is correct that we could become derelict and get torn down. So, get a grip. Think like the Realtor does. Focus on our good points. What do we have going for us? I want every one of you to tell me exactly why this house should be bought."

Kitchen Cabinet Wall: "Well, I have lots of sturdy oak cabinetry. They can be refinished either with new stain or paint. I shudder about paint but I do realize it is a thing these days. And to be fair, it could make my small space pop. And my bay window makes a nice view for dining. Plus I have a bar with an eating ledge which can be useful for entertaining or informal eating."

Living Room Blue Accent Wall: "As an accent wall, I can be very versatile. Paint. Wallpaper. Texture. Paneling. I can handle whatever would accomplish the new owner's dream. I can bounce the light around the room. I provide a good place for a couch. And also a focal point for artwork and other decorations."

Living Room Floor: "Underneath this ugly carpet, I am concrete. I'll always be sturdy, and never rot or get uneven. All I will ever really need is cosmetic applications to fit the owner's style and dΓ©cor."

Hallway Walls: "As hallways go, we are just big enough for the two bedrooms and the bathroom to open into so we don't waste much space."

Bathroom Walls: "Well, the whole house is small square footage so we're cheap to heat and cool. And our property taxes and insurance will be cheaper."

Foyer Walls: "Hey! Hey guys! A car drove up and a girl is out on the lawn. She's holding her phone out like she's doing a video or something."

****

Girl on Lawn: Hey everybody! I just wanted to go live and share some big news with you. You know how I feature a different Tiny House every week? And how I keep saying it is my dream to have my very own tiny house? Wait a second. Let me turn my camera around where you can see.

TADA! Look at this little beauty! And it's all MINE! My very own tiny home! Okay. Okay. It's not mobile. It is permanent and a Tiny House is technically only 600 square feet or under and this house is 900 square feet. BUT, the average house size here in America is roughly 2480 square feet. That means that although this house is 1/3 larger than a true Tiny House, my home is only a little over 1/3 the size of the average American home. And the best part, these little houses like this are in every city waiting for someone who wants to live tiny to seek them out. They're affordable. Honestly, I got this house for a steal!

Come on. Let's go look inside.

This is the living room. It has this focal wall that is a dull blue right now and could use some love. I'm thinking a beautiful sunny yellow. And this carpet, look, when I pull it back, there is concrete under here. This was a garage converted to a living room. I can't wait to rip all this ugly carpet out and then put a stain on the concrete. Maybe a terracotta brown to add some warmth and to compliment the yellow accent wall. And I have a fireplace. I'm not sure it works but I can put candles in it and it will be absolutely GORGEOUS.

Now we're headed into the kitchen. LOOK at all this gorgeous oak cabinetry! And I can't believe how many cabinets are in here for a small kitchen. I can't decide whether to refinish them and keep the natural grain of the wood or to go with paint. That's a decision you can help me with as I go along.

And look at this. I have a bar with an eating ledge and a dining area for a small table. And bay windows. Perfect for a window garden. I can plant some herbs and stuff. Totally awesome.

I HAVE to show you the bathroom. You won't believe this. TADA! Isn't it gorgeous? It is straight out of the 1930s! So retro! I couldn't believe that it has made it all this time without being compromised. It's nearly 100 years old - actually 93, and it looks pristine.

And then here is the primary bedroom with a simple, but functional closet. There is plenty of room though to put in a free-standing clothes rack if I feel like I need more closet space.

Last but not least, this is the second bedroom. A bit small, but absolutely perfect for an office space to do my videos and content creation and to do yoga.

The only thing more perfect than all this is that it sits right on the Sherry Canal!

So, there you have it. My new tiny home, Little House on the Sherry. Hit the Like button if you enjoyed my big reveal. And hit the Subscribe button to my channel to share my adventures in fixing up my little home.

***** (video ends)****

New Owner of Little House on the Sherry walking through the house: "Well, Little House on the Sherry. I hope you will love me as much as I love you. We're going to do beautiful things together."

All the Walls, Floors, and Ceiling: "We do love you! We're so glad you found us! It's going to be awesome to be loved by you."

Short Story
6

About the Creator

Pam Reeder

Stifled wordsmith re-embracing my creativity. I like to write stories that tap into raw human emotions.

Author of "Bristow Spirits on Route 66", magazine articles, four books under a pen name, technical writing, stories for my grandkids.

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  2. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

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Comments (4)

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  • Babs Iversonabout a year ago

    Wonderful walls story from beginning to end!!! A happy, fun, and enjoyable read!!! Well done!!!

  • Cathy holmesabout a year ago

    Nicely done. Everyone is happy in the end.

  • What a great and imaginitave take on the challenge. Brilliant story

  • Danielle Deutschabout a year ago

    Great work here about an unlikely match made with patience. Even walls have to be reminded to have a little faith. :D Loved the tiny home reveal! Lol

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